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Two year old won't stay in her bed

storm172666storm172666 member
in Toddlers: 24 Months+
My two year old, who pretty much slept through the night since she was 3 months old, has been waking for the past two months and it's just getting worse. First I attributed it to her step-sister visiting and sleeping in her room. She would cry out for me and I'd have to go soothe her back to sleep. Then she started climbing out of her crib so we had to convert to a toddler bed- and she began to get out of bed and come looking for me. I'd walk her back to her bed and she'd go back to sleep. Her step-sister left about a month ago and her sleep has just gotten worse. The past two weeks she has woken up every 1-2 hours and come to my bedroom to get in bed with me. I walk her back to her bed and she cries out for milk. I'm not starting that up again so I offer her water and she settles in. But an hour or two later she's up again and I have to do it all over. The past two nights have been impossible. No amount of soothing has worked. She has gotten hysterical. I've tried letting her cry it out but can't let her go into hysterics. I've had to give in and let her sleep with me since it's been 3 a.m. and I have to get up for work at 6. I don't know what to do. I do not want her to get used to sleeping in my bed. Any suggestions?
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Re: Two year old won't stay in her bed

  • storm172666storm172666 member
    I've tried closing her bedroom door but the shrieking and hysterics gets to me. I started crying last night because I could hear her standing against the door crying out "Mommy" and crying in that way where they take deep breaths as if almost hyperventilating. I've tried leaving her with a nightlight on and it makes no difference. I've left the door ajar in case she's scared and also left it wide open and it's all the same.
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  • ashiscuteashiscute member
    I think Nic is right.  If this had been going on a few nights I'd say wait it out but it seems like it's become her new normal.  DD is 3.5 and in a twin bed and does not usually get out unless she can hear us in our room (they are next to each other) or she has to go potty.  If she needs something she cries out for us to come to her.  I do shut her door but she cannot open it.  

    I think because your DD is so upset I'd leave her door open for now and go the super nanny route.  I'd just take her back to bed but do not stay to try to put her to sleep.  Give her a cup of water at bedtime and make sure you clearly explain to her what is expected of her.  And then every time she gets up just walk her back to bed.  It will probably take quite a few trips but she will get it.  Her routine has somehow been changed and she needs to figure it out again.  

    And I know it's cruel but I wear headphones when my LOs are crying like that.  It's much easier for me to stay calm and stick to the plan if I can take the edge off the sound of their crying.  
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  • BeevolBeevol member
    We recently had a similar issue with DD and what helped was talking to her before bed time about how it was OK to wake up in the middle of the night and read a story to her bear but that mommy and daddy wouldn't see her until morning. I had been telling her when she woke up that she needed to stay in bed etc, but I think talking about it prior to turning out the lights and getting tucked in helped. 

    Whatever route you end up taking, all you can do is stay consistent.  
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  • greyt00greyt00 member
    edited September 2014
    I know it's awful but I had to listen to my son scream for 2+ hours one night.  He had been getting up at all hours every single day.  I was exhausted.  We had to go so far as not even speak to him when he gets up.  Almost anything we did could be viewed as a reward/reinforcement.  Do not speak, put him back in bed.  Over and over and over and over and over.  It was only really bad for 2 days.  Then we got a stretch of 9 days where he didn't come out of his room until morning.  Now we are up and down.  We're in a good 3 day stretch right now.  But rarely does he get upset and scream anymore.  He's older -- 3.5 -- so I'm not sure how I'd feel doing this with my 2 year old, but having lived with sleep issues for 7 months, at least with a very stubborn child, there isn't another way.  I even had to watch myself one night, and stop tucking him in.  He had come out a few times and it seemed like he enjoyed being tucked back in.  So all I did was set him on top of the bed (standing up!)  

     
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  • storm172666storm172666 member
    So last night she went to bed at her usual time- 8pm- and was up at her now usual time-12am, crying, pounding on the door, shrieking. I went in and tried to calm her down and put her back in bed a couple of times. She slept for an hour and was back up and at it again, this time worse, yelling for milk, running around her room, hysterically crying. I kept putting her down and calmly saying no milk, it's sleepy time. I had to go back in a couple of times because she wouldn't let up. She finally calmed down and I rubbed her back until she was dozing off. Around 430am she was up again, blankets in tow, ready to go to my bed. She asked for milk and as I got it she was climbing my bed. I took her back to her room and gave her the bottle and she stayed and slept until 6am. I am exhausted. I'm starting to wonder if she has an ear infection, or if she's having bad dreams, because the shrieking is so unlike her. I cried again last night because I just can't bear to hear her crying so badly.
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  • ashiscuteashiscute member
    Why did you give her a bottle of milk in the middle of the night?  Isn't she 2?  

    If you think she has an ear infection then take her to the doctor.  Has she complained of any ear pain?  Poor sleeping was the only symptom of ear infection for DS but he was under 1 when he got them.  I would think by that age they would try to tell you if something was bothering her.  

    If you ask her during the day does she know why she's waking up?  Does she nap?  When she is crying during the night is it after you tell her she can't get in your bed or before?  

    I still think the advice you got was your best option.  Just keep putting her back to bed when she comes out of her room.  Do not talk to her, just put her to bed.  I would not give her milk or water and I would not stay and rub her back.  I know it's upsetting listening to her cry but I think it's important to treat every middle of the night wake up the same.  No wondering if she'll get in your bed, you'll get in hers, she'll get milk.  If every wake up is the same she'll be able to better understand the response.  Consistency is very important.
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  • KWood2011KWood2011 member
    I have had the same issue a few months ago. The ONLY thing that finally worked and some nights are different than others. Do your night time routine, we read do prayers etc, then i tell her good night and leave the door open. 
    (btw found this from Super nanny website) 
    1st time she comes out put her back and say bed time and not another word. 
    2nd to 10-15 time!  don't say a word. Pick her up put her back in her bed. 
    You have to emotionless. She wants your attention and this will help her realize she will not get it this way. 
    You may have to stand down the hall because she will get out so many times. Just pick her up put her back in the bed in walk out. Not a word. No matter what state she is in.  Every night it gets better.
    First night I put her back 15 times. The next 8. By the 3 it was only 2. And then she started staying in her bed. Just be consistent even in the middle of the night do the same. She will learn quickly you are not giving in. 

    Believe me I went through hell with you before I tried this and I tried everything!  
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • WiscohioMomWiscohioMom member
    We also went through something similar but ours was a problem going to bed in the first place, not night time waking. I have ways been a believer in the back-to-bed method, the problem now is that we would have just taken our hands off of him and he was up and flying out again. We weren't going to physically sit there and hold him in the bed, which was the only thing that would have kept him there. I also was not comfortable with locking him in. Although it is not too different in theory, we ended up trying a baby gate at his door, and this has been our answer. Without much crying, he simply took all of his animals and blankets from his bed and set up camp on the floor next to the gate and went to sleep. We let him do that for a few weeks and are now transitioning back to bed by putting his mattress next to the gate and slowly moving it further away. I know how hard it is to hear your child cry and especially go into hysterics. My son had never done anything like that before, and it was terrifying! I spent several nights crying myself. But I do agree that no matter how much you want to snuggle and cuddle and make everything better, you need to figure out a way to help her learn to get through the night on her own and fall back asleep by herself. If the bak to bed method of leaving the room is too had there is another method (super nanny also does this with younger kids) where when you put back to bed, you stay in the room, next to the bed, but no eye contact, touching or talking until child falls asleep. The child knows you are there and if it is a fear thing like nightmares, they can have the comfort of your presence but that is it. Then you start positioning yourself further from child until you are at then outside of their door and they are falling asleep after you leave the room. (We did try this but our kid would NOT fall asleep! But ever kid is different...) Good luck!
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