wwyd GodParent dilemma

tamarar5 · August 2014

DH and I are having Amelia baptized at the church in our home town so that the extended family won't have to travel. But this Church requires one God parent be an actively practicing Catholic (like we are). With the other two, my sisters were God Parents, so not a problem.

We had anticipated asking one of DH's sisters and his best friend to be God parents, but neither are practicing Catholics. We don't really have any religious friends. My question: would you stick with the original choice (his friend and sister), or would you reuse one of my sisters (actively practicing Catholics)?

I'm not a member of this church, but have received permission from both my parish and the other church, so I don't know how strict they are about the actively practicing God Parent thing.

Rynleigh · August 2014

I would go with his friend and sister so each child has unique people special just for them. But I'm an atheist, so I'm sure that isn't very helpful.

tamarar5 · August 2014

@Rynleigh‌ That's exactly what I am looking for, just what others would do (regardless of religious affiliation or not

)

cinnasugar · August 2014

We had the same issue (we are Catholic too), and honestly they don't stalk you down to see if you are active or not. I think my SIL needed to get a letter from her parish (she was registered there but does not attend regularly), and the letter basically says that she is registered there and in good standing. That is all. So that is what we did.

ally2011 · September 2014

Isn't the role of godparent to help raise them up in the Christian faith?

ally2011 · September 2014

I am not familiar with those requirements so I would probably ask someone who is a Christian too regardless of denomination to serve in the role unofficially if they didn't meet the formal requirements. I personally would skip it if my only other options were unbelievers. I am a Methodist and we didn't do godparents (we do have people in place for guardianship if we both died, but that is different).

ally2011 · September 2014

luxannie said:

Isn't the role of godparent to help raise them up in the Christian faith?
Sure, but Catholicism has some crazy requirements for godparents, so it makes it pretty hard to find a godparent. FWIW, I think you can pick who ever you want. And you can define the role however you want. I may not pick a practicing satanist to be a godparent, but if that satanist respected and supported me raising my kid as a Christian, then the satanist would be a good godparent in my book.

Well a satanist couldn't be both a satanist and supportive of someone raising their child Christian as those are in direct conflict to each other.....

ally2011 · September 2014

ETA without editing bc lazy - our dd dies have several believers in her life so honestly until now it hadn't occurred to me to have formal godparents for her since it is not a common practice in our denomination. But there are definitely people that function as godparents ideally would in her life.

Rynleigh · September 2014

Our secular approach to the "godparent" situation is that we have designated people who are responsible for ensuring the well being of our children if something happens to us - this does not necessarily mean that they must become the sole caretakers of our kids, just that they will work as guardians and advocates for them, to be certain that they are kept together and provided with a wide array of life opportunities. Because of the nature of our view on this relationship, we chose just one pair of people to fill this role for all four of our children - because the fewer people involved in these particular choices, the easier the decisions. If we were just looking for people to teach our children their personal philosophies or trades or beliefs, we would have chosen separate individuals for each child to have a personal and unique relationship, especially if two of my kids already each had one of their own.. I don't think I'd consider sharing one of them for a third child.

caladpi02 · September 2014

Gosh, everything is more lax where I am...the only requirement for our Catholic baptism was that one godparent be baptized Catholic. DH's selection is Christian so he was not technically on the form, but he participated in the ceremony. We have other guardians in place if we pass, this is purely religious.

@tamarar5 I would see how active in the faith they really have to be, but see if you can use who you want. I wouldn't want to reuse a family member if I did not have to.

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