Can we educate the masses? Other child mentioned — The Bump
Trouble TTC

Can we educate the masses? Other child mentioned

A very good friend of mine stopped by a Labor Day BBQ i was at this weekend and asked how we are doing with IF. She has a little one of her own and is getting ready to try for number two. I told her I'm still healing from surgery and need to repeat my HSG then hopefully FINALLY start a medicated cycle in October.

For like the ninth time she asked me why I'm not just trying without meds. I explained we have been trying for over a year and that I do not get a cycle to track. She then persisted to tell me about the period tracking app she used to conceive. I told her I use the same one but haven't had a period in over a year so it doesn't work for me.

Then she tells me about the wonders of ovulation prediction kits! "That's how we conceived this one!"
OMG so now I have to explain again that I don't ovulate. I could pee on those sticks every five minutes and I'll only ever have one line. The eggs are not dropping friend. Period.

For an educated woman who had been through baby making, she's really really uneducated about this stuff. And she means well. But it's so frustrating to have to explain to someone repeatedly that you're just plain not capable of making a baby without assistance. Welcome for infertility.
TTC since 2013 (grad of 3T)
EDD: May 24, 2015

Re: Can we educate the masses? Other child mentioned

  • I'm sorry that you had to deal with that! It is very frustrating how little some women know hardly anything about their bodies!

    TTC #1 since July 2013
    August 2014: Unexplained Infertility 
    Me (25) and DH (32)
    Married 5/18/12

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  • Ugh! It astounds me sometimes how much women who have had children have NO CLUE how it actually happened!

    Me: 32  DH: 33  Married: March 2004

    July 2006: started TTC
    2008: HSG (normal), couple rounds of clomid through gyno

    2008 - 2010: dragging my feet out of fear and procrastination
    October 2010: first consultation with RE, dx PCOS and fibroids (DH slightly low count/motility)
    Oct. 2010 - Dec. 2012:  In DENIAL! avoided the issue because I was scared of surgery
    January 2013: returned to RE, fibroids grew significantly
    February 2013: second HSG, fibroids pushed on tubes which blocked them somewhat
    March 2013: MRI to determine what type of surgery may be necessary
    July 29, 2013: fibroids (5) removed via robotic laparascopy
    August 2013 - Nov 2013 : benched due to recent surgery

    IUI #1, Dec. 24, 2013, BFN 
    IUI #2, Jan. 25, 2014, BFN
    IUI #3, Feb. 25, 2014  BFN
    IUI #4 canceled due to lack of response to letrozole
    IUI #4.1 April 28, 2014, BFN
    May 16, 2014: wtf consult, start prepping for IVF in June and add injects for one last IUI in the meantime
    IUI #5 started letrozole and bravelle but canceled after HSG led to new diagnosis
    May 21, 2014: third HSG, tubes blocked, one at the beginning, one hydrosalpinx??
    June 11, 2014: consult, approved to move on to IVF because the hydro is not completely blocked therefore allowing fluid to move through slowly rather than backwards
    IVF #1 August 8, 2014 - 3dt of 2 embryos, BFN
    September 17, 2014 - 4th HSG, the right tube is very patent (open!!) dye went straight through this time. Weird!
    October 2, 2014 - started metformin treatment
    November 14, 2014 - blood work, brought A1C down from 5.8 to 5.5
    November 26, 2014 - RE finally back from vaca and reviewed my chart, no more IVFs for rest of calendar year
    December 1, 2014 - Right after Thanksgiving, I called a new clinic and got in right away! Plan for IVF
    December 17, 2014 - ER! 29 retrieved (!!), 16 mature, all 16 fertilized (ICSI)
    IVF #2 December 20, 2014 - 3dt of 3 embryos, BFN

    We are done with treatment unsuccessfully. :(


    PAIF/SAIF/All Welcome!

    image    image
    [Deleted User]
  • Sorry that you have to deal with questions like that. You are a very patient woman.


    image
    Married and started TTC in July 2013

    "Diagnosed" with unexplained infertility
    Oct 2014 IUI #1: 100mg clomid/HCG trigger/2 mature follicles/18mil post wash sperm count: BFP!!!

  • Ugh I'm so sorry. It really stings when people who can achieve pregnancy are so clueless about it. I had a friend say she tried for 5 years, and the ol' "when we stopped trying, it worked!" She went on to explain to me that, "you can only get pregnant 1 week of every month!" ...... And when I told her my DH's post wash numbers were only around 2million she said, "that sounds like more than enough to me! You guys are probably fine!"

    How do people not know the basic information?




  • I'm in the same boat. No periods = no ovulation. I hate ignorant people. It's difficult enough without having to defend your IF decisions to a moron.
    Love 8/15/10 | Marriage 11/21/11 | TTC #1 11/2012
    Unexplained Infertility
    Our herd includes DH (29), me (26), and 2 fur babies (Corgi and Bernese Mtn Dog)
    All are welcome | Join the movement #8ActsOfLove

    imageimageimageimage
  • Good for you for sticking with it and pointing out all her idiocy. I hope next time she is talking to someone with IF, she'll be more like, "Oh I'm sorry, that's so hard! I hope it goes well for you." 
    January 3T Siggy Challenge - New Year's Resolutions
    image
    imageimage

    Me (29), DH (30) TTC actively 54 55+ cycles | All BFNs
    MFI (low everything) | Endo Stage 1 & Stenotic Cervix (treated) | PCO
    Married - July 2008 | Started TTC - Jan 2009 | RE Visit #1 - Mar 2014 
    IUI #1 ICI #1 - June | IUI #1.1 Laparoscopy - Aug
    IUIs #1.2, 2, 3 - Sept, Oct, Nov (Letrozole) - BFNs 
    IUI #4 - Dec (Bravelle) | IUI #5 - Dec/Jan (Bravelle) - 5 follies + TI - BFNs
    IUI #5.1 - Jan (Bravelle) Cancelled 
    Planning to start IVF in March!
    ***All Welcome***
  • I'm sorry you had to deal with that. People who get/stay pregnant with no problem seem to be pretty clueless when it comes to this stuff.


     

    TTC since July 2012 
    BFP 5/22/13. Lap. to remove ectopic and dx with endo. 6/16/13

    RE consult: June 2014

    DX: FVL, endo, hypothyroidism, blocked left tube

    Oct. 2014: First treatment cycle: Clomid+trigger+IUI=BFN

    November 2014: Clomid+trigger+IUI again=BFP!

    BFP 11/28/14 MC discovered 1/14/15

    Blogging to stay sane

  • I just hate that so many are embarrassed and uncomfortable about IF in general that the vast majority of the population is clueless!!!
    TTC since 2013 (grad of 3T)
    EDD: May 24, 2015
    [Deleted User]
  • Oh man, @Champs28‌ - do I understand whatyou mean! My mom keeps saying that after I get the fibroid removal surgery done in Nov, I'll just get pregnant right away. And that I shouldn't take any fertility medications after surgery because "all those hormones aren't good for you". SMH ....I don't even try to reason with her anymore. I think from now on, of someone suggests I use OPK s or otherwise tries to be helpful, I'll just smile and say "It's more complicated than that for me unfortunately." And change the subject.
    **Formerly EastBayBride508**

    Me 34   Him 33

    Me - Left salpingo-oophorectomy at 19 due to large cyst/torsion  and 2 large uterine fibroids found at age 30
    Him - Borderline low sperm count (correcting through Fertility Blend supplement)

    Married 8/20/2011
    TTC #1 since Jan 2013
    First appointment with RE 10/2013.  
    April 2014 - Clomid 100mg CD3-7.  HCG shot CD10 IUI #1 done on 4/12/14 (CD12) ....BFN
    May 2014 - Break cycle to repeat saline sonogram and re-group.  Travel to Kauai 5/7-5/12 (Yay!!)
    June 2014 - Clomid 150mg CD4-8.  HCG shot CD14.  IUI#2 done on 6/9 and 6/10 (CD15-16) w/ Prometrium suppositories during TWW .... BFN
    July 2014 - Clomid 150mg CD3-7.  Ultrasound CD12 - 4 mature follies! HCG trigger shot CD12 AM.  IUI#3 on CD13 w/ Prometrium suppositories during TWW ....BFN
    July 2014 - Repeat ultrasound done to measure size of fibroid - 8x9cm (the size of a grapefruit!) Surgery referral made.
    August 2014 - MRI done which revealed 2 fibroids: a 13x15cm fibroid as well as an 8x7cm one.  Super freak out mode over surgery plan.  OB-GYN/surgeon said surgery would most likely have to be a laparotomy (open abdominal surgery)
    August 2014 - After a 2nd opinion, plan to take Lupron x 2 months to shrink fibroids then laparoscopic/robotic myomectomy.  Surgery date is set for Nov 21st!  
    November 2014 - Robotic myomectomy done (2 large fibroids removed, mild endo found).  Benched x 3 months

    PAIF/SAIF welcome
    [Deleted User][Deleted User][Deleted User]
  • OMG @kkeglar13 - my mom told me the same thing!  I was torn between wanting to think that was a really sweet offer and being exasperated by the idea that she thought such a thing was possible.  I was mostly annoyed (but somehow I felt like a b**ch for feeling that way).  
    **Formerly EastBayBride508**

    Me 34   Him 33

    Me - Left salpingo-oophorectomy at 19 due to large cyst/torsion  and 2 large uterine fibroids found at age 30
    Him - Borderline low sperm count (correcting through Fertility Blend supplement)

    Married 8/20/2011
    TTC #1 since Jan 2013
    First appointment with RE 10/2013.  
    April 2014 - Clomid 100mg CD3-7.  HCG shot CD10 IUI #1 done on 4/12/14 (CD12) ....BFN
    May 2014 - Break cycle to repeat saline sonogram and re-group.  Travel to Kauai 5/7-5/12 (Yay!!)
    June 2014 - Clomid 150mg CD4-8.  HCG shot CD14.  IUI#2 done on 6/9 and 6/10 (CD15-16) w/ Prometrium suppositories during TWW .... BFN
    July 2014 - Clomid 150mg CD3-7.  Ultrasound CD12 - 4 mature follies! HCG trigger shot CD12 AM.  IUI#3 on CD13 w/ Prometrium suppositories during TWW ....BFN
    July 2014 - Repeat ultrasound done to measure size of fibroid - 8x9cm (the size of a grapefruit!) Surgery referral made.
    August 2014 - MRI done which revealed 2 fibroids: a 13x15cm fibroid as well as an 8x7cm one.  Super freak out mode over surgery plan.  OB-GYN/surgeon said surgery would most likely have to be a laparotomy (open abdominal surgery)
    August 2014 - After a 2nd opinion, plan to take Lupron x 2 months to shrink fibroids then laparoscopic/robotic myomectomy.  Surgery date is set for Nov 21st!  
    November 2014 - Robotic myomectomy done (2 large fibroids removed, mild endo found).  Benched x 3 months

    PAIF/SAIF welcome
    [Deleted User]
  • @murrt‌ I agree!!!
    TTC since 2013 (grad of 3T)
    EDD: May 24, 2015
  • Ohhhh I can so relate!!! I have a few friends who completely don't understand IF. They think that I'm too your to have any problems. And they think they know everything there is about getting pregnant. And they really know NOTHING! It's kind is sad and extremely frustrating! Best of luck with your friend! :) ** why not do a ice bucket challenge for IF** lol that might get the masses attention! ;)
  • I'm embarrassed to say that I don't think I knew a ton of details about how everything worked until I had been through 7 or 8 cycles of TTC and started reading and trying to figure out what was going on. I mean, I knew basic anatomy and process for what had to happen for a pregnancy to occur but I certainly didn't understand to the level I do now.

    Part of me is pissed off by people making stupid comments about things they really should have understood since junior high health class; but the other part of me feels anxious about whether or not I ever said anything like "have you thought about surrogacy or IVF?" without realizing what I was saying or the impact in might have. I hope I didn't. But I probably wouldn't have realized what I had said if I did.

    But still...people are dumb. :)

    ***** All Welcome *****
    ***** Siggy Warning *****

    TTC since Dec, 2012. Me: 33; DH: 34

    - Ultrasound to look at "lay of the land": normal
    - Blood work: normal
    - OPKs and ultrasound to confirm ovulation: Yes
    - SA for DH: Normal (a couple numbers on the low side of normal)
    - HSG: Normal
    - Doing several cycles of Letrozole, TI and progesterone
        - Aug cycle of Letrozole, TI and progesterone came back with a BFP-MC at 7 weeks.
    - Benched until Jan
    - Starting Letrozole, TI, Progesteron and HCG Trigger in Feb cycle

     

  • I have had the same suggestions. " You should really try ovulation prediction kits. " Really I have never heard of those...will they help my husbands sperm?". People who haven't really dealt with IF have no clue and they assume we are as clueless as they are. It's pretty hard to educate people too. Most people just don't get it!

    imageimage

    TTC #1 January 2009
    January 2010 SA results: Count 16 million, Motility 40%, Morphology 2%
    January 2010- Surprise BFP! DS born 10/1/2010 :)
    January 2013 TTC #2
    September 2013 Repeat SA: Count= 1.7 million, Motility= 24%, Morphology= 2%
    November 6th 1st Appointment with RE: diagnosed with severe MFI
    Testing to try to determine a cause & possible treatment for MFI
    CD 3 blood work for me. RE does not want to repeat my HSG/lap at this point,
    but may want to before moving forward with any fertility treatments.
    After seeing the uro, DH is currently taking lots of supplements and clomid to try to boost his count. We will have a repeat SA in February to see if it works.
    Follow up SA numbers are: Count= 4 million, Motility= 40%, Morphology= 1%
    Uro wants us to have another follow up SA 5/9 to see if we see further improvement than we are back to the RE to make a game plan.

    SA 5/9/2014 Count: 12 Million, Motility: 60%, and Morphology 2%. We will be doing iui #1 in late June

    IUI #1 6/28 clomid + ovidrel, post wash count 3 million total sperm= BFN

    IUI # 2 7/21 clomid+ ovidrel. post wash count 900,000 total sperm= BFN

    IVF planned for early November- cancelled due to cyst

    December IVF #1- 22 eggs, 20 mature,16 fertilized

    12/9 Transferred 1 4AA Blast, 6 frosties


    *****Everyone is welcome******

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