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how did you manage to get some sleep!

NADA-HNADA-H member
in Working Moms
I'm sleep deprived like crazy right now (second day back at work) as I go to bed after my baby goes down for the night (around midnight) and she wakes up once during the night (4-5am) about an hour before I have to get up for the day so I end up with 5 disturbed hours of sleep and I'm up on my feet all day at work and evening at home! how long did it take you guys to settle into going back to work? if you work full time do you manage to take a short nap after work? and is there any chance I can bump her sleep schedule up a notch and get her to sleep at 11pm or 10pm? she could nap at those times right now for 5-15 minutes but she surely wakes up and would never sleep deeply until 11:30-midnight. Even when she had a period of poor napping and being tired and sleepy (she used to sleep 6-7 hours at night those days) but she still wouldn't go down until 11:30-midnight

I personally have a problem with falling asleep too, so it takes me a long while to finally fall asleep once in bed even when sleep deprived :( and with having to wake up in the middle of a short period of sleep I end up sleeping even less with all the "trying to sleep" periods in between.
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God Bless You my Little One
Farida, our first child, born on the 19th of July 2014
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Farida, at 8 weeks
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Re: how did you manage to get some sleep!

  • QueSrahQueSrah member

    Does she take a nap earlier in the evening (maybe around 7 or 8)? Any chance you could try turning that into her bedtime, or at least a long enough nap that you could put yourself to bed for a few hours earlier in the evening? An hour or so earlier seems less likely to stick than a full sleep cycle earlier.

    Any chance your spouse can take some time with her in the evening so you can go to sleep earlier, since you're likely the only one getting up in the middle of the night? The only way I survived at the beginning was letting my DH take the 8-12 shift so I could sleep before I had to get up with DD when she woke up after midnight.

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  • NADA-HNADA-H member
    He is pretty much the one handling her most of the evening, i get home at about 5:30pm and while he is handling her am running the dish washer, making dinner, packing lunch, pumping, etc. i do take her from him at times and ask him to do laundry or pack or make us tea or whatever but he needs to be at his desk at 7am while i have to be there at 9am, i drop her off in the morning and he picks her up at 4pm and then gets home at about 4:30pm.

    So he cant nap until i'm there (he's always needed more sleep to function than i did since we met) if i'm in bed by 11 normally i do not need to nap and am functioning like a clock around the hour but he isnt like that. He needs to nap and he ends up falling apart by 9-10 pm at times (he has a training-coaching job similar to teaching and chronic migrains)

    How do u make her sleep at 7-8pm? She'd nap on and off during the day and afternoon but wakes up often or would sleep for 40 mins and get up
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    God Bless You my Little One
    Farida, our first child, born on the 19th of July 2014
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    Farida, at 8 weeks
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  • dashofrealitydashofreality member

    How old is your DD? Your ticker says she is 6 weeks? If she is only 6 weeks and you are back at work, there isn't a lot of advice I can give you, it is just going to be really rough for the next 1-2 months.

    I suggest the book Healthy Sleep Habits Healthy Child. Generally around 2 -3 months you can hope to start getting some stretches of sleep, which if you are getting 6-7 hours with a 6 week old that is fantastic. I preferred to put my kid down around 11 and get uninterrupted sleep, some people prefer to try dream feed.  From 3-6 months, your baby should naturally start moving their bed time earlier and earlier. I was extremely fortunate that my DD made up for her hellish first 2 months by sleeping 7-6 at 6.5 months. So hopefully this is for a short time.

    I would at least pick a couple nights a week where you go to bed at 8-9 and have your husband put the baby down and bring her to you to feed at 11 or whatever you normally do.

    DD Nov 2010 ~ DS June 2012
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  • minirellaminirella member
    We co-slept. I know some frown upon it but it was the only thing that worked for us.
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  • MickeyM04MickeyM04 member
    Agree, if LO is 6 weeks it will just suck for a bit I think.  But by around 10-12 weeks you should be able to get an earlier bedtime.  Like, you will start putting LO down at 7pm or 7:30pm or 8pm and they will just sleep for a longer stretch of time (not always 6 hours, but longer than 40 minutes).  So if you move bedtime up ideally you will go to bed early too and then when the first wake up happens, you already have a few hours under your belt.  At 12 weeks I was able to get DD down by like 8pm, and then I would go to bed by 9pm and when she woke up at midnight to eat, we were OK, because I already had 3 hours of sleep in me, so even if she got up every 2-3 hours for the rest of the night, it was doable.  It does really depend on the LO though.  At 6 weeks, I couldn't get DD or DS down before 11:00ish.
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  • banks81banks81 member
    If you haven't already, I would recommend starting "bedtime" around 7 or 8.  Your DD will still get up a few times throughout the night (based on what you are saying), but she will get used to the routine.  And hopefully this will get her to sleep longer.  

    Our DD is almost 4 months, but we were doing this early on - probably since week 2 or so.  Her routine - eat, bath, pajamas/slee sack, read story, lay in crib for sleep.  When she was younger and would wake up in the night, then I would make sure it was quiet and dark when I fed and/or changed her and then put her right back to bed.  Then, when you get her up for the day, you turn on the lights and talk at a normal level.  

    I think this helped us tremendously so that when she started sleeping 12 hours at night, she already had the routine down.  We always put her to bed around 7 and then she just kept sleeping longer and longer until she STTN (until 7am).
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  • SunAndRainSunAndRain member

    I would avoid pumping and nurse only while around LO, and actually you can do both at the same time with a good electric pump and pumping bra.  Anything to save time so that you have more time to devote to sleep!

    See if you can get a mother's helper in for $5/hr for 1-2 hours per night or every other night to help with food prep and dishes.

    DH also took the 9-midnight shift and I went to sleep right after the 8 PM feeding. Then I'd wake to feed DD in the early hours, and then I'd wake again around 5 AM for the morning feeding.


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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    We took shifts. DH goes to bed late naturally and I go to bed early/wake up early. So he did the late shift and I did the early shift. It helped maximize sleep.

    I had switched to formula by this point so not sure how that translates to breastfeeding.
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  • NADA-HNADA-H member
    Yes my baby is close to 7 weeks now.

    I tried getting her to nap in the afternoon once i was home at 5:30 pm so that I can get a 1 hour nap but she wouldn't, then I tried putting her down in her crib yesterday every time she'd nurse in the evening or seem sleepy or start to drift off in her swing but she'd get up and cry and be wide awake.

    I co sleep in the morning usually (when I wasn't working+weekends) I'd bring her to my bed at 6-7am once my husband is out of bed when she wakes up to feed and I'd feed her lying down and then we'd sleep together and she'd wake up to eat again in 3 hours and then falls asleep. Now that I'm working I can't do it in the morning and I can't bring her to bed in the evening as my husband is a super active sleeper and there is no space for a cot/bassinet or anything for her to sleep in by the bed.

    I think I will just go to bed early and have my husband put her down at 11 and then I will get up for the 4-5 am feeding.

    problem is once they start sleeping at 6-7pm, if your working full time you barely see your baby! I get off work at 5pm. do you have a later bedtime if you work full time? if my baby would drop her 4-5am feeding it would be great. I never went to bed before 11 actually before I had her, it's just the constant waking up that annoys me. Would giving my baby a pacifier instead of milk when she wakes up at 4-5 help her sleep and not wake up at that hour anymore?

    She got up at 3:50am today and had about 3.5 Oz. or more of BM and then drifted to sleep. she then woke up again at 6:30am and was rooting and crying and nursed for 5-10 minutes before sleeping. Then when I dropped her at my mom's she downed 5 Oz. at before 10 am...is this normal? she never had these amounts before and she did take less than 2 Oz. at 1pm afterwards
    imageimage
    God Bless You my Little One
    Farida, our first child, born on the 19th of July 2014
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    Farida, at 8 weeks
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  • dashofrealitydashofreality member

    1. Seriously read Healthy Sleep Habits Healthy Child. Sleep begets sleep and keeping your kid up to see them because you work is not a good idea.

    2. 6 weeks is so early to go back to work, most go back around 12 and there is a big difference between a 6 week old baby and a 12 week old baby. You are expecting way to much from a newborn.

    3. You need to be feeding on demand, she is very young. Having am infant is rough on sleep. She is also probably reverse cycling and waiting for you to get home from work to eat, it is common. 5 oz bottle for a 7 week old is overfeeding. Have your mom read up on how to bottle feed a breastfeeding baby.

    DD Nov 2010 ~ DS June 2012
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  • MommyAttyMommyAtty member
    My 4 month old is in bed by 7:30, and we try to make it closer to 7:00. DD, who is 2, is in bed by 8:00. Seriously, sleep begets sleep. Your baby needs to be in bed much, much earlier. Before DS started STTN at 8 weeks, he went to bed by 8:00, was up between 11 and midnight to eat, then up again at about 4. When we shifted bedtime to 7, he dropped the midnight feed. Still got up about 4:00. Now he sleeps until 6:00ish. I went back to work at 6 weeks, too. I would go to bed at 8 and for a long time did all the night wakings. I was losing my mind, so I told DH that if he wanted to continue living, he was taking the midnight feeding and letting me rest. He readily complied with that "request."
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  • ss265ss265 member

    OP, I would pick up a couple of sleep books - your baby is too young for sleep training but I would start with a consistent bed time routine which you repeat for both naps and bedtime. No Cry Sleep Solution has some techniques which you might find useful. Basically you want to keep stimulation to a minimum for at least 30 minutes before bedtime and establish a routine like bath, pajamas, bottle, read book, bed. Also reducing naps doesn't always help night time sleep - babies can get over-tired if they don't sleep enough during the day which could hinder night time sleep.

    If all else fails, I like the suggestion of you going to bed early and having DH put her down for the night so you get a block of uninterrupted sleep. And yes, it's common for working moms to get only a few hours with the babies during the week - DS used to go to sleep at 7pm and we only recently pushed his bedtime to 7:30pm. We just recognize that's quality time.

    The first few weeks back at work are tough but eventually you fall into a routine - you learn to cook dinner in 30 minutes or less and let household chores slide into the weekend. It sounds like you have a really supportive DH which is key to adjusting back to work.

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  • NADA-HNADA-H member
    thanks ladies, I will pick up some of the sleep books you suggested.

    As to bottle feeding.

    It is indeed much faster for her to get a bottle before bed and I'd pump. My husband would give her the bottle at before 11 pm and that saves my sanity and then what ever I pumped goes towards her 3-5 am feeding (whenever she wakes up in between those times) I do breast feed her before I leave to work but my baby tends to feed for 5 minutes sometimes and would then just stop no matter what I do she wont take any more milk, sometimes she goes on until 10 minutes but getting her to do 10 minutes on each side just doesn't happen anymore, it used to work out that way when she was younger but not anymore, I think my supply is really good and that she sucks quickly, she eats vigorously when on my breast and swallows a lot.

    When it comes to pace bottle feeding,I read about it and taught my mom how to do it, my baby however already spends about 20 minutes to take a bottle and she takes multiple rests during and pauses a lot just like when on my breast. If she isn't hungry she pushes the nipple out even if she had had under 1 Oz. or wouldn't take it in the first place. It did shock me when she took 5 Oz. but then for the rest of the day she barely ate so I guess she had a huge appetite in the morning?

    @theresat858 oh and when I said the middle of the night I really mean the middle of her sleep stretch which is the time she eats between 3-5am, my definition of night and day got twisted
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    God Bless You my Little One
    Farida, our first child, born on the 19th of July 2014
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    Farida, at 8 weeks
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  • justjinnyjustjinny member
    What does your pediatrician say about feedings?  My DS was always really big for his age and would eat much more than "normal" sized babies (like 6-8oz every 4hrs at 8wks old). Sometimes he would want to cluster feed and take 2-4oz. every two hours when he was going through a phase.  I'm no expert, and maybe I was doing something wrong, but it seemed to me that babies will eat what they need when they need to eat.  His pediatrician pretty much said to not stress over him taking more than "normal" since he wasn't spitting up after feedings and was growing on track.

    The first year of sleep is just hard, especially so the first few months.  Good luck with making some adjustments at night & try to get any extra rest when you can!
     


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  • NADA-HNADA-H member
    She slept at 10:15 pm last night for 6 hours straight then got up and nursed and went back to sleep until 8:30 am! This would be awsome if i can turn it into a habit
    imageimage
    God Bless You my Little One
    Farida, our first child, born on the 19th of July 2014
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    Farida, at 8 weeks
    image
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  • NADA-HNADA-H member
    @justjinny i think she is eating more because she is going through a growth spurt
    imageimage
    God Bless You my Little One
    Farida, our first child, born on the 19th of July 2014
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    Farida, at 8 weeks
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  • justjinnyjustjinny member
    Aw, I'm glad you got some sleep!  Hopefully the weekend is kind to you and you can sneak in a nap or two even. 

    TTC #1 9/11-12/12, 9/12 Dx: Hypothyroid + DOR (AMH .76), IUI #1 & #2 BFN's
    1/13 Decided to pursue DIA, 4/13 Home study Approved 9/13 Matched!
    10/13 DS home with us! 2/14 TPR completed  5/14 ADOPTION IS FINAL!
    3/14 Surprise BFP 11/14 DD is here!
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  • DiveFrogDiveFrog member

    I am so late to this post, but I just wanted to chime in that although an early bedtime is very common, and highly recommended by many people/sources. It just doesn't work for all babies.

    DD was a night owl from the day she was born, and has always had an extremely hard time falling asleep. I tried moving her bedtime to between 7-8, and it never worked, and just caused us more stress. Eventually, we fell into a pattern of me starting her bedtime routine at 9:00 and getting her to sleep between 10:30-Midnight. This schedule basically continued until she was around 10months. Then she dropped a daytime nap and moved her bedtime up to between 8-9. She's almost 2.5 and that's where it has stayed.

    If you have a baby like my DD, she probably doesn't sleep as much as most babies. DD never slept/napped anywhere while we were out during the day, even as a newborn. She has only twice in her entire life fallen asleep on her own, outside of being in the car, or being placed in a crib. We call her the energizer bunny, because she just keeps going and going unless you tell her you MUST sleep.

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  • NADA-HNADA-H member
    Thanks ladies. I think i will have to run to bed when she sleeps and thats what i'm tryin to do now i finish prepping everything then pump while my husband gives her a bottle at around 10 pm and then we r all in bed. She only wakes up to nurse once which is very doable.

    Last night she slept from 11 pm until 6 am this morning. I was so happy when i woke up i almost passed out LOL!! She then nursed and slept for 3 more hours then got up and nursed again and was up for a while. I feel so refreshed! I'm my old self today, God have i missed feeling rested
    imageimage
    God Bless You my Little One
    Farida, our first child, born on the 19th of July 2014
    image
    Farida, at 8 weeks
    image
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  • HobbityBarbHobbityBarb member
    Unexpected sleep is wonderful :) Glad things are working out for you
    2 children - DD born Dec 2004, DS born Jan 2007
    British born, emigrated to Canada 2006
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