Baby Showers

Baby Shower Help for a Guy...PLEASE

Ladies,

Please help.  As you can tell from my username, I am a father to be who needs help.  Unfortunately, for reasons I won't mention, I am planning my own shower.  I came to this site for help since my wife always talks about it.  I want to throw her a great shower.  Please view some things I have mentioned below and offer ANY advice.  All will be appreciated.

Booked the restaurant.(Comes with cake and balloons.)
Sent invites.
Games - Bought Baby Shower Word Games for people to fill out whenever they want to.  Contains mixed words and crossword games.  Good time/boredom killer?
Bought New Mommy Baby Advice Cards  for people to fill out whenever they please. 
Games - Going to do dirty diaper game.  I am going to smear different chocolate bars on diapers and have people guess what they are.  Going to have them write them down on #4.  This ensures we get a LOT of advice :').  Winner gets a prize(Oil Burner good?).  Played between pasta and salad.
Games - Bought Tummy Garland - How Big is Mommy?    to have people guess how big my wife's belly is.  People have to cut the tape and somehow I gotta figure out who is the closest.  Winner gets a prize(Body/Bath stuff good?).  Played between salad and main course.
Games - Bought Baby Shower Gift Bingo  , for people to play when the gifts get opened.
Favors - Bought clear neutral sex(Since we aren't finding out) baby bags.  Going to mix in Pacifier Sweet Tarts, Pastel Baby Dots and Pillow Mints.  Going to add the phrase "Babies are sweet!" to the little tag that comes with the bags.
Did I miss anything?  Anything to add?  I know games are key to keep people interested and to have them from leaving early.

Thanks,

Mike

Re: Baby Shower Help for a Guy...PLEASE

  • While it's sweet you want to throw a party like this and make your wife happy, you really shouldn't be throwing a shower.

    Why don't you wait until after the baby is born and have a meet n' greet type party?

    People will talk about you and your wife in a very negative way if you proceed. 

     

    It seems like you are focusing on the games and food but not the real meaning of the shower.  The parents to be are supposed to be the guests of honor.  There is no honor in throwing a party for yourself...

  • Ditto everything BrahimBride said. You should not be throwing your wife a shower. It's rude and a total gift grab.
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  • I didnt want to but had to throw the shower since no one else is.  I agree its tacky but I know my wife would want one.  It is a gift grab more if I wasnt paying for it but since I am, I am basically buying the gifts myself :')
  • imagedaddytobeneedshelp:
    I didnt want to but had to throw the shower since no one else is.  I agree its tacky but I know my wife would want one.  It is a gift grab more if I wasnt paying for it but since I am, I am basically buying the gifts myself :')

    You should tell your friends and family who are coming that.  I'm sure they'll be pleased.

    A baby shower is NOT a requirement.  You are sounding very entitled...

  • Save the money you are spending on the shower and just buy the gifts yourself. It is tacky to throw a shower for your wife. You are just asking for gifts. I would be appalled if I got an invitation to a shower thrown by a husband. Showers are thrown for the parents-to-be (even if mom is the only one who attends).

    As I said in the 3rd tri post, be thankful that her family is caring and thoughtful enough to throw her a shower and be done with it. Just because you are PG doesn't entitle you to a shower (or two).

  • They wouldnt be pleased but lets be honest..If you dont pay for the party, you are asking someone to shell out $ for a party for you so you can get gifts.  What does the person throwing the party for you get?...the bill.

    So again, throwing the party yourself is like paying for a meal for people who return the favor buy giving you a gift.  All in celebration of my expected baby.

  • imagedaddytobeneedshelp:

    They wouldnt be pleased but lets be honest..If you dont pay for the party, you are asking someone to shell out $ for a party for you so you can get gifts.  What does the person throwing the party for you get?...the bill.

    So again, throwing the party yourself is like paying for a meal for people who return the favor buy giving you a gift.  All in celebration of my expected baby.

     

    See that's just it... you don't ASK.  Someone OFFERS..If your friends and family don't OFFER because they are moved to celebrate your good news, then I think you should take the hint..

  • Thats the thing...her parents offered then backed out with 7 weeks left.  I then invited the 90% of the people they dont nplan on inviting.  My parents saw the invite, offered to pay but I cant ask them to give me $x amount of dollars for the party with such little notice.  They have other things they need to use that money for than myself.
  • I am not going to be defending my reasons for having one anymore. I'm doing it to make my wife happy so thats all that matters. If you're miserable for whatever reasons, dont try to make me feel bad too.

     Just please comment if you have any tips or suggestions to make my shower better.

  • imagedaddytobeneedshelp:

    I am not going to be defending my reasons for having one anymore. I'm doing it to make my wife happy so thats all that matters. If you're miserable for whatever reasons, dont try to make me feel bad too.

     Just please comment if you have any tips or suggestions to make my shower better.

     

    Puhlease, get over yourself on a public  message board.  You are super entitled, and your wife will most likely be mortified.  People are going to talk about you and HER and it's not going to be pretty.  You should feel bad, I would feel bad if I was that gift grabby...

  • I dub thee king of all douches!

    You sound like a cry baby..."no one will give us what we want so ill just throw us the party so i can get gifts and then justify my reasons" wahhhh!!! Crying

  • Essentially, you are paying your friends to buy gifts for you.
  • wow! i thought everyone was a little harsh on this guy.  lighten up and give him a break
  • the shower will be fine... don't worry about that part.

    I do agree with the other posters that you shouldn't throw your own shower, but it sounds like you have SIS (shitty in-law syndrome) and this fell in your lap.

    I would find someone (anyone) to pose at the hostess for the shower so people don't talk about you. Call up your wife's friends, sisters, your sister, your mom, anyone and just ask her to help you out, no costs, just cohost with you to save face.

    I understand because we had to throw our own engagement party. I didn't even want a party, but my inlaws offered and the invites went out. Then they changed their minds a week before the party. 

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  • imageMitzie:

    I do agree with the other posters that you shouldn't throw your own shower, but it sounds like you have SIS (shitty in-law syndrome) and this fell in your lap.

    I would find someone (anyone) to pose at the hostess for the shower so people don't talk about you. Call up your wife's friends, sisters, your sister, your mom, anyone and just ask her to help you out, no costs, just cohost with you to save face.

    I think you are sweet - you are thinking about your wife's feelings and want her to be happy. I think that's honorable. Looking through the TONS of posts I read about non-caring DHs (dear husbands), I think you're great.

    On to the issue. You are thinking about your wife's wishes for a shower. Everyone wants a shower....they're fun, you get to see everyone, you get gifts, people shower you with attention. I don't blame her, and I don't blame you! That being said, as previous posters have said, people will talk if you host your own shower, and taking your wife's thoughts into consideration, you don't want that. I agree with Mitzie - find someone (and it sounds like your parents would be prime choice) to "host." They don't have to pay - they may want to - but let them "host,"  have them announce the games, welcome guests, give out favors, whatever. Sit in the middle/center with your wife, and let them handle everything. Just have a good time.

    If you host your own shower, even for shitty in-law syndrome (haha - I love that!) people will talk about you when you're not there. "Oh, didn't they think that they were SPECIAL." "You know they hosted their OWN shower? What a way to get gifts!" You just really don't wan't that.

    Good luck - once again, I think you're really sweet for thinking of your wife. And also - I think you did a good job planning - it will be fun!

  • I agree that it is SUPER considerate for you to plan a shower for your wife. Just because her family didn't step up to the plate doesn't mean she shouldn't have the honor of having a shower.

    I do agree that it might be a good idea to ask someone to superficially host the party for you, if for no other reason then to stop the whining and gossip of people that aren't as thoughtful as you are being about your wife's situation.

    I don't think that you are being entitled or rude or selfish or anything. I think that everyone on the board should stop being so hard on you and shut up unless they are invited to the shower. Only then do they have the right to get so offended.

     BTW your ideas for games and entertainment are awesome. Everyone will have a great time I'm sure.

  • i agree that it's really sweet of you to think of your wife this way.

    however, showers are gift-giving events. ?as the father-to-be, you throwing the shower comes across as extremely greedy and tacky. ?and yes, your responses do give the impression of someone suffering from major entitlement issues.

    can you put it off until after the birth and call it a "meet the baby" party instead? ? it's perfectly acceptable for parents to do this, and while not intended to be a gift-giving party, most guests will bring something anyway. ?

    and if nothing else, PLEASE do not mention registries in the invitations for this shindig. ??

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  • I think your ideas and plans sound great!  And don't worry about what other posters think - this is what your wife wants and you are so sweet to give that to her.  You're going to be a great dad!!!
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  • I agree that you are being really nice and helpful. Your plans sound great. I am sure your wife will have a great time! I wouldn't judge anybody because they invited me to their own shower. The gift goes to the expecting parents anyway so who cares who organizes it. Good luck!
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  • I don't think it's rude at all. Come on.

    As someone who had her aunt say she wanted to throw a shower and then ended up having to do EVERYTHING herself while her aunt took all the credit??? Um, no one really cares who's throwing the shower as long as it's not the woman of honor. (Yeah, it's for both of you, but it's traditionally to shower the MOTHER.)  Don't be over grabby. Don't invite people you barely know. As far as the rest, the games and such sound great. Don't go over borad on the games because ours turned out kinda "eh".

    image
    Samantha Skye - Aug 30, 2006 AND Maxwell Griffin - April 14, 2009
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  • I think what you are doing is ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL!  You're wife will love it and if someone does like what your doing than they dont have to come.  Most women would be amazed to have a man do something incredibly important to her and would appreciate the great lengths you have gone to.  I am truly impressed and think everything sounds great.  Good luck and enjoy it! 
  • cut out half those games... ugh!  no one needs to play like 6 games at a shower... especially a dirty diaper game.  that's nasty.

     

     

  • imagejnealet:
    I think your ideas and plans sound great!  And don't worry about what other posters think - this is what your wife wants and you are so sweet to give that to her.  You're going to be a great dad!!!
  • First: kudos to you for taking this on. My husband would never be so thoughtful.

    Second: Don't listen to these nay-sayers. If someone thinks you're being inappropriate they can a) not come or b) be a good friend and come anyway.

    Third: Definitely cut out some games. Showers are much better when they are relaxed and unregimented. Personally I HATE playing shower games. I'd rather just eat and mingle a little, watch mom open gifts, and go home. There is really no need to try and entertain.

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