Can we educate the masses? Other child mentioned

Champs28 · August 2014

A very good friend of mine stopped by a Labor Day BBQ i was at this weekend and asked how we are doing with IF. She has a little one of her own and is getting ready to try for number two. I told her I'm still healing from surgery and need to repeat my HSG then hopefully FINALLY start a medicated cycle in October.

For like the ninth time she asked me why I'm not just trying without meds. I explained we have been trying for over a year and that I do not get a cycle to track. She then persisted to tell me about the period tracking app she used to conceive. I told her I use the same one but haven't had a period in over a year so it doesn't work for me.

Then she tells me about the wonders of ovulation prediction kits! "That's how we conceived this one!"
OMG so now I have to explain again that I don't ovulate. I could pee on those sticks every five minutes and I'll only ever have one line. The eggs are not dropping friend. Period.

For an educated woman who had been through baby making, she's really really uneducated about this stuff. And she means well. But it's so frustrating to have to explain to someone repeatedly that you're just plain not capable of making a baby without assistance. Welcome for infertility.

penelopec518 · August 2014

I'm sorry that you had to deal with that! It is very frustrating how little some women know hardly anything about their bodies!

lebradford · August 2014

People are stupid. My coworker was confused about why I'm getting help when I haven't been married "that long" (it's been over a year, btw) because apparently my ovaries will start working at some point based on the length of my marriage??

jencity9 · August 2014

Ugh! It astounds me sometimes how much women who have had children have NO CLUE how it actually happened!

jenmcD11 · August 2014

Sorry that you have to deal with questions like that. You are a very patient woman.

meld42 · August 2014

Ugh I'm so sorry. It really stings when people who can achieve pregnancy are so clueless about it. I had a friend say she tried for 5 years, and the ol' "when we stopped trying, it worked!" She went on to explain to me that, "you can only get pregnant 1 week of every month!" ...... And when I told her my DH's post wash numbers were only around 2million she said, "that sounds like more than enough to me! You guys are probably fine!"

How do people not know the basic information?

theholmanherd · August 2014

I'm in the same boat. No periods = no ovulation. I hate ignorant people. It's difficult enough without having to defend your IF decisions to a moron.

BunnyBerry · August 2014

Good for you for sticking with it and pointing out all her idiocy. I hope next time she is talking to someone with IF, she'll be more like, "Oh I'm sorry, that's so hard! I hope it goes well for you."

BethKate2 · August 2014

I'm sorry you had to deal with that. People who get/stay pregnant with no problem seem to be pretty clueless when it comes to this stuff.

Champs28 · August 2014

I just hate that so many are embarrassed and uncomfortable about IF in general that the vast majority of the population is clueless!!!

wanderlust508 · August 2014

Oh man, @Champs28‌ - do I understand whatyou mean! My mom keeps saying that after I get the fibroid removal surgery done in Nov, I'll just get pregnant right away. And that I shouldn't take any fertility medications after surgery because "all those hormones aren't good for you". SMH ....I don't even try to reason with her anymore. I think from now on, of someone suggests I use OPK s or otherwise tries to be helpful, I'll just smile and say "It's more complicated than that for me unfortunately." And change the subject.

wanderlust508 · September 2014

OMG @kkeglar13 - my mom told me the same thing! I was torn between wanting to think that was a really sweet offer and being exasperated by the idea that she thought such a thing was possible. I was mostly annoyed (but somehow I felt like a b**ch for feeling that way).

Champs28 · September 2014

@murrt‌ I agree!!!

steen9713 · September 2014

Ohhhh I can so relate!!! I have a few friends who completely don't understand IF. They think that I'm too your to have any problems. And they think they know everything there is about getting pregnant. And they really know NOTHING! It's kind is sad and extremely frustrating! Best of luck with your friend!

** why not do a ice bucket challenge for IF** lol that might get the masses attention!

saritacw · September 2014

I'm embarrassed to say that I don't think I knew a ton of details about how everything worked until I had been through 7 or 8 cycles of TTC and started reading and trying to figure out what was going on. I mean, I knew basic anatomy and process for what had to happen for a pregnancy to occur but I certainly didn't understand to the level I do now.

Part of me is pissed off by people making stupid comments about things they really should have understood since junior high health class; but the other part of me feels anxious about whether or not I ever said anything like "have you thought about surrogacy or IVF?" without realizing what I was saying or the impact in might have. I hope I didn't. But I probably wouldn't have realized what I had said if I did.

But still...people are dumb.

TLooney17 · September 2014

I have had the same suggestions. " You should really try ovulation prediction kits. " Really I have never heard of those...will they help my husbands sperm?". People who haven't really dealt with IF have no clue and they assume we are as clueless as they are. It's pretty hard to educate people too. Most people just don't get it!

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