Scared of the birth

beeandbabiesxx · August 2014

Is anyone else Absoulutly terrified about the pain of giving birth?

soulcupcake · August 2014

I'm guessing you're new? Hi and welcome!

leoandethansmom · August 2014

beeandbabiesxx said:

Is anyone else Absoulutly terrified about the pain of giving birth?

QFP

Welcome and congrats! I think it would be abnormal for someone to not be "scared" of the pain of giving birth. However, the pain is worth it in the end.

JRod13 · August 2014

Welcome and congrats. Birth is scary as hell. Totally worth it though.

path75 · August 2014

I am not terrified of it. I just know it's a natural part of the process and it doesn't help my mental state to worry yet. Although I just kind of deal with things as they come and try not to dwell on what will happen in the future. I would just live in the now and not worry.

lovelovelove09 · August 2014

path75 said:
I am not terrified of it. I just know it's a natural part of the process and it doesn't help my mental state to worry yet. Although I just kind of deal with things as they come and try not to dwell on what will happen in the future. I would just live in the now and not worry.

This is me.
It's part of the deal.

CandEChicago · August 2014

I think there are much more things about the L&D process to be scared about than just the pain.

Based on your profile pic it appears you have been through this once before. If the pain was that bad with LO#1 perhaps you should speak to your OB/medical professional about different pain management techniques if it concerns you that much.

Also... welcome & congrats.

Edit: Formatting

weezy29 · August 2014

Epidural. That's all.

feeshah · August 2014

With DD I wasn't ready for the amount of pain I was going to be in. I didn't know pain like that existed. My epidural didn't take so I labored only numb from the knees down. I was able to have the epidural redone just in time to push. It was heaven.
Yes it hurt. But the pain is only temporary.

Eora3 · August 2014

I had major anxiety about the birth when I was pregnant with my first child. I started doing a HypnoBabies home study course and it made a huge difference for me. There are CDs that you listen to while you are relaxing that really help you connect to your body and your baby. I realized that my son and I would be working together to bring him into the world. It helped me calm down and refocus.

In the meantime, try to avoid talking to other women about their births. Some women are great but a lot of women seem to love to tell horror stories. Every birth is different so don't let someone else's birth experience scare you.

If you are comfortable with your medical professionals and your hospital/birth center, try to focus on their expertise and let it calm you. They will take good care of you.

Also, check out doulas (birth support women). They attend births just to offer additional support and attention to the mother's needs. I had one with my first birth and it was wonderful! She helped me stay calm and communicate with my doctors. She helped my husband understand what was going on and how things were going as well.

JaymeeLH · August 2014

I read Ina Mays Guide to Childbirth and it helped me alleviate some of the fears I had. It would be silly to say that I'm completely prepared for the pain that childbirth brings, especially seeing as I've never been through it, but I don't let myself become consumed with fear, especially with (hopefully) 15 weeks left before I have to cross that bridge. Try and focus on your growing baby now, start to research coping strategies, and don't let yourself get worked up.

Also, welcome and congrats

nopegoat · August 2014

I have had 2 relatively easy birthing experiences thus far so I think I am more afraid of how I am going to be able to do everything at the end of my pregnancy and how to handle 3 kids after. But I think being afraid of labor is relatively normal. It's a pretty big life changing event and a lot of unknowns. Just remember it's absolutely worth it!

BankerBSN · August 2014

SLC1102 said:
Um, no one told me about any "pain"...I think I've been duped. What the fuck?

That's because sometimes labor tickles.

BankerBSN · August 2014

I plan on having an orgasmic birth. https://orgasmicbirth.com

Cheekers2010 · August 2014

LimaBeanMOM said:
I was terrified last time around. My husband and I sat down one night and I told him how I felt and he told me that it is only one day that I will be going through it and after we have forever to enjoy the beautiful gift that comes from it. Yes it will hurt -but your body knows what to do -women have been giving birth forever before you and after you. If you go in with that mindset and keep reminding yourself of that vs being petrified and terrified, I think you will have a better outcome. Just keep calm and try not to worry.

Or three days as the case may be. I would be thrilled with one day this time. This is not a helpful comment is it? Ha

mrsrroberson · August 2014

My step-daughter & nieces (23, 22 & 17) are scared to death of birthing pains. That fear is their method of birth control... Well not really, but you get my drift.

marriedinaugust · August 2014

I don't think I was ever scared of the pain, I was definitely not looking forward to it. I had a short (by comparison) but rough labor with my first and would love for this one to be easier. I think the key is to find a way for you to cope with the pain and accept that it is what it is and it doesn't last forever and the reward is amazing. Good luck!

StopTheRWord · August 2014

I think I might be a freak, but I am really excited about going through the experience of birthing. I am (hopefully) going all natural at a birthing center and know it will be painful, but I want to see what my body is truly capable of. I feel like we are built for this and fear only exasperates pain so I refuse to let fear in. I am a FTM so perhaps the not knowing helps me out with that one.

ColeyCannoli · August 2014

Pain is just pain and it won't last forever. I'm not scared of it really. I'm not looking forward to it or anything but I just have to remember that the pain doesn't mean something is wrong. It's just what happens. Pain only freaks me out if I don't know why it's happening. I have a high pain tolerance though. I think it's the tattoos. That and I've had kidney stones. And at the end of "delivering" a bad kidney stone there's not a celebration or a something cute to cuddle. I didn't even get a cute teddy bear for all that agony. I'm thinking child birth might actually be better.

leoandethansmom · August 2014

ColeyCannoli said:

Pain is just pain and it won't last forever. I'm not scared of it really. I'm not looking forward to it or anything but I just have to remember that the pain doesn't mean something is wrong. It's just what happens. Pain only freaks me out if I don't know why it's happening. I have a high pain tolerance though. I think it's the tattoos. That and I've had kidney stones. And at the end of "delivering" a bad kidney stone there's not a celebration or a something cute to cuddle. I didn't even get a cute teddy bear for all that agony. I'm thinking child birth might actually be better.

I can relate! However I'm an STM so I know what the pain of labor feels like. I also have a high pain tolerance from my high abundance of tattoos and the incredible amount of ovarian cysts my body grows. I did 12 hours of labor unmedicated at home and it sucked, yes, but it wasn't awful. Granted that was only to 4cm and I had an epidural after that but I imagine the pain probably would have gotten worse. I think I feel the same as you, I know to expect pain and I know what the pain is caused by so it's easier to tolerate for me than the unknown and unexplainable pains.

soulcupcake · August 2014

In answer to your question, OP, childbirth wasn't something I was ever really anxious about. I wasn't scared of the possible pain or discomfort, and I tried not to let others' experiences affect how I view the birthing process.

I have a pretty high tolerance for me, and didn't find my unmedicated labors to be painful. Intense at times? But not something I'd describe as painful. I actually really look forward to the process.

Broken little toe and a busted big toe were far worse. And the time the car door shut on my left ankle.

beachy6 · August 2014

It hurts like hell, but I'm excited about it because the end result it amazing. And, epidurals are worth their weight in gold.

rebekahapratim · August 2014

StopTheRWord said:
I think I might be a freak, but I am really excited about going through the experience of birthing. I am (hopefully) going all natural at a birthing center and know it will be painful, but I want to see what my body is truly capable of. I feel like we are built for this and fear only exasperates pain so I refuse to let fear in. I am a FTM so perhaps the not knowing helps me out with that one.

This exactly.

LaxMOM44 · August 2014

You think the pain is bad? Just wait til you see your mangled vijay after birth. I will never roast beef again.

MauraLou25 · August 2014

The pain is over as soon as the baby is out. Well, except for the stitches and healing time. I, and many other STM+ here, did it medication free and are doing it again. It's really not as bad as some make it sound.

argyledogs · September 2014

I'm completely terrified of the entire process and the pain, etc, afterward. Never thought I would ever be giving birth, but I'm 22+ weeks pregnant, so I guess I'll just have to deal with it! (and pretend I'm going to have a perfect labor)

sarahlynne30 · September 2014

I also have high anxiety about the whole process; it seems to be worrying me the closer I get to Dec. I keep telling myself it's worth it and if women have been doing it over and over forever than I can also do it!!

BrideLinds · September 2014

I wish I had the chance to feel that pain again. I'm getting a repeat c section and therefore will likely not feel labor at all. As much as it hurt, idk, it was a pretty cool experience and I'm glad I felt all of that the first time ever if it ended in surgery.

rshamos · September 2014

It's going to suck, but it will be worth it!

momtoE25 · September 2014

I'm actually looking forward to it this time around. I guess because I'm hoping for a better experience than last time and know more of what to expect.

JCM285 · September 2014

I'm also a FTM and terrified of the birth, but I try to think about all of the women who went before me and were able to do it and I feel a little better. I will probably cry every day in Dec. up until the birth though!

Amolinet · September 2014

My husband and I have been taking a hypnobirthing course and it is making us feel much more confident and secure about labor and delivery, and giving our son a peaceful, gentle birth for our son. I highly recommend it!

bowlwoman · September 2014

BankerBSN said:
I plan on having an orgasmic birth. https://orgasmicbirth.com

My MIL says she had an orgasmic birth with both DH and BIL. A little too much info for my taste, but hey, glad she had a good time.

And then there was the time my mom told me that the night I was conceived was the best night of sex she ever had.

I guess DH and I are just special.

ETA: I'm a third time mom with two relatively easy inductions under my belt. I was uneasy the first time because I had to be induced for GD and I was really wanting a natural birth. That went out the window and the epidural was fabulous. With DD2, I knew what to expect. I assume I'll feel that way this time as well, knowing what I'm getting into. And yeah, the pain is temporary and not at all important once you're holding your baby.

talianza · September 2014

I had a pretty traumatic labor. Makes me cry every time I think about it lol
I'm really hoping for a smooth delivery this time around. I'm going to trust my body and let things progress as they should.... I will definitely get an epidural again lol but hoping to get it closer to the actual pushing of baby!

TravelingCouple · September 2014

It's hard not to have at least some anxiety about it but I'm trying to be rational about it. Women have been giving birth since the beginning of time and, most moms, go back and do it over and over. The majority of the world gives birth with no option for pain relief so I'm just thankful that it's even an option for me. Ideally I'd love to give birth with no pain meds, but I'm going in with an open mind and will get it if I really need it. I've been doing prenatal yoga and talking to the baby that we're in this together. It helps with the anxiety of the unknown and pain.

MeganK81410 · September 2014

Honestly, the pain does suck, but it's temporary. It's also pain with a purpose, a means to an end. Each contraction brings you that much closer to the finish line! Once you hit pushing mode, that pain is a tool because you use it to know when to start pushing with each contraction. With both of my deliveries, the contractions before pushing sucked, but I don't recall actually acknowledging pain during pushing other than when baby was crowning. It's an intense, overwhelming experience, but it's exactly what your body was made for! I'm actually really excited to do it all over again.

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