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March 2015 Moms
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Late night venting...

leahxjaneleahxjane member
in March 2015 Moms
Acid reflux is keeping me up yet again, and I just really needed to get something off my chest.

I do love my mother in law, and we get along very well. Always have ever since I started dating my husband almost 6 years ago. But seriously, the woman gets on my nerves, and even my husband's. I do believe that she means well, but she's kind of a space cadet, and doesn't really think about what she does/says, or how it could potentially come off wrong to others.

The other day she straight up said that she "hopes our kid behaves just as badly as [husband] did when he was little, because that's just karma." .....Seriously?

She laughed it off like it was an innocent joke, and I didn't even know what to say.

I may be overreacting or thinking too far into it, but that seriously rubbed me the wrong way and kind of offended me.

Anyone else have people saying things like this to them?? Vent away! I feel a little better already.
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Re: Late night venting...

  • CrystalTruesCrystalTrues member
    Yes! My MIL is the worst at this. For example, she came over one afternoon after we went camping to "help" (which really means play with ds and make a complete mess of my house that I always end up picking up). When she arrived DH and I were sweeping a tarp and laying out all of our stuff that got wet the night before, it was pretty hot that day a she was aware that I was pregnant. She says hello and then word for word says "I would help but I just don't want to."
    She does not need to help us pick up after our trip, I am not saying she should have. However, I was hot, sweaty and felt like shit. I was working hard in the sun in 100 something degrees weather. I would never, but I wanted to hit her with the broom. Why could she not just say hello and go inside to play?

    This is one of many examples, and honestly on the tame side. I try my best to let them go and forget them because if I don't, it drives me crazy. Not good for me and not good for my marriage.
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  • summerlyn27summerlyn27 member
    I have experienced during the ten weeks I have been pregnant that almost everyone is getting on my nerves. Did she irritate you before you were pregnant?

    Like honestly, people on tv irritate me. And I read this article that you shouldn't watch tv that provokes you or causes anxiety because we are more proned to become emotional because of our hormones!

    I can understand, me and my future MIL have little to no relationship, even though me and her son have been together for 2 and a half years. But I take anything she says or lack there of because I don't exist, lol, as a grain of salt. Put a smile on your face and think about how blessed you are! Even if he is a pain in the butt when he is older!
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  • Joon+Joon+ member
    Ugh... I could go on for hours on this topic. I too love my MIL, but sometimes I could just... Anyway, the latest is she knows I've been struggling with this pregnancy and even though it was planned and very much wanted, that I've had a hard time wrapping my head around it since we found out and it's really exacerbated my mental health issues. So she sends me this on FB with her own two cents of "nicely put" underneath... As if I wasn't already feeling guilty enough for how I've been feeling. I mean, seriously? I know in her mind she was just trying to help and maybe thought it would be inspirational or something, but it came across as a straight-up "shame on you".image

    Married the most patient man on the planet:  May 16, 2009
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  • RachbobachRachbobach member
    If your MIL laughed after she said it she obviously meant it as a joke. I really don't see what was offensive about it. You should get thicker skin because when the baby comes people are going to give you advice and tell you how to raise your child and you are going to find these things extremely offensive.
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  • leahxjaneleahxjane member
    @gimmemore‌ I guess maybe "offensive" wasn't the right word to use. It just rubbed me the wrong way that she said she hoped my child behaved badly because we deserve it. She's always been good about saying slightly rude things and then playing it off as a joke. Like when she told me I looked flat-chested and not womanly in my wedding dress (yikes).

    But you and @RQuinlin‌ are both right; I do need to toughen up a bit and not let her bother me so much! Thanks for the straight-forward advice; always appreciated :)
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  • DragonflyDreamingDragonflyDreaming member
    Lol, my mom used to say that to me in my teen and pre-teen days! She hasn't said it lately, but it would be pretty funny. ;) I definitely would prefer a boy that takes after my husband, though, when he was a kid (not a mini - me ... I was a bit of a handful ... ).
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  • ruemorganruemorgan member
    I dont see what was offensive about what she said. Ive heard that same joke so many times on sitcoms, the internet, real life. Its funny. My kids will give me trouble because that's what kids do and when they grow up I will wish their kids give them just as much trouble too!

    However, I am sorry she rubs you the wrong way sometimes. I have a coworker who makes me feel the same way for absolutely no reason.
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  • lisap0924lisap0924 member
    leahxjane said:
    Acid reflux is keeping me up yet again, and I just really needed to get something off my chest. I do love my mother in law, and we get along very well. Always have ever since I started dating my husband almost 6 years ago. But seriously, the woman gets on my nerves, and even my husband's. I do believe that she means well, but she's kind of a space cadet, and doesn't really think about what she does/says, or how it could potentially come off wrong to others. The other day she straight up said that she "hopes our kid behaves just as badly as [husband] did when he was little, because that's just karma." .....Seriously? She laughed it off like it was an innocent joke, and I didn't even know what to say. I may be overreacting or thinking too far into it, but that seriously rubbed me the wrong way and kind of offended me. Anyone else have people saying things like this to them?? Vent away! I feel a little better already.

    I think most parents say stuff like this. my parents have been saying it to me for years.

    but I can understand how it may have rubbed you the wrong way. My MIL drives me insane at times too.

    she tried to wear off white to my wedding in May and I nearly went bridezilla on her LOL!

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    Married the love of my life: 5-17-14

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    EDD:3-11-15

    Step Mom to Z: 4-11-06

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  • RMama2012RMama2012 member
    I get that this could be taken the wrong way but it is a very common joke.  I have heard it a million times.

    Also, regardless of how tame your child is, there will be times he/she will drive you absolutely nuts.
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  • jpavenskijpavenski member
    It's funny I have the opposite. Mine goes on & on about what a perfect child my husband was & how he never napped & slept 6-6. Pretty much comparing my son or more my parenting I think. My child did like 4 naps a day till almost 1 & still naps at age 3 & is very grouchy without it. My son sleeps 8:30-8 & for our schedule we like that a lot better. I call her nana no-nap!
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