Motor delay commiseration post

MissMeegs · August 2014

DS is doing well in PT and making progress, but he still feels really behind--especially when I do the worst thing and compare him to other babies, which I know I should NOT do but it's hard!

I am in a very small January 14 moms group on Facebook, and out of 12 of us, I think at least 3/4 of them have posted pics of their babies pulling up to stand and complaining about how mobile they're getting that they can't keep up, etc. DS still doesn't even shimmy on his tummy, and definitely still won't even try to bear weight on his legs unless he's forced to during PT or home exercises.

I know that he's doing fine, and that it will come in time and that frankly I should be glad he's not running around the house causing trouble yet! But sometimes I get a little demoralized and worried that he's not advancing sooner. Anyone else working on a motor delay feeling a little bummy and want to commiserate?

km_md · August 2014

Hugs mama. I totally understand. DD is behind because of her reflux and being low tone - the two go hand in hand. We are seeing a PT as well and she is making progress but it breaks my heart when I see babies younger than her doing so much more. I know that I tried all that I could and we spent the first 4 months or more of her life just focusing on making her not be in pain so play time was really limited. Our PT is really hopeful for her though so I hope she catches up soon.

Tylynngrace · August 2014

I totally know how you feel. DS was 3 months early and we're working with PT to try to catch him up. I always get so upset when I see my friends babies that are younger than his adjusted age doing things he can't do yet. I'm just hoping he can catch up soon

km_md · August 2014

Thank you @danaadell I really do try not to compare her, but it is hard not to notice when younger kids are doing things your kid can't. I just feel so bad for my baby girl that she felt so bad during her first few months of life and wasn't able to play and be happy. And then I try to remind myself that I am thankful that she is doing much better now and she will be fine.

MissMeegs · August 2014

Comparison is just like any other bad habit, tough to break! Even though it is bad for you.

I blame social media, in the days before Facebook I probably wouldn't even realize that DS is behind on some things!

MiaMyPuggle · August 2014

I'm sorry you're bummed. He's just being a lazy bum! Once he's giving you a run for your money, you're going to be like, "you little shit!" Hang in there!

bensmommy518 · August 2014

Hugs mama. I can relate to how you are feeling - I have been right there with DS with regard to his verbal development ( he has been in EI since 18 months).

Its really tough to not compare but like PP said comparison is the their of joy. Instead what I have found helpful is to celebrate each milestone you do hit regardless of when it is.

While my friends were bragging about their LOs saying the ABCs I talked about how over the moon I was over Ben saying mama. Who cares if it took him until age two to do it, the point was he DID it.

RedSaffron · August 2014

Lots of hugs to you Mama. I'm right there with you. DD has hit some milestone, she is behind in some too. It's so hard to not to compare, but like PP have said, celebrate every milestone no matter when it is.

blue_elle · August 2014

I feel your pain. M is also behind on milestones, having just started to sit well unsupported, but not yet pushing himself up on straight arms when on his belly. He's doing nothing in order.

It's exciting when he finally starts to do something other babies have been doing for months, and frustrating when the physical therapist is disappointed in what he isn't doing yet. He's making progress, and I know that's the important thing.

Sometimes I'm able to relax and tell myself he's on the slow side and that's ok, after all someone has to be on the other side of average. Other days I worry about every little thing he is/isn't doing. What if he isn't just on the slower end? What if something is wrong we haven't recognized yet? Why did he do that weird thing earlier? Etc., etc., etc. I've spent many a night googling and then freaking out internally about everything that could potentially be wrong with him. It's maddening. As luck would have it, it's often right after I get anxious about lack of progress that he makes some new huge leap and I get to breath easy for a little while. Darn babies!

MissMeegs · August 2014

blue_elle said:
Sometimes I'm able to relax and tell myself he's on the slow side and that's ok, after all someone has to be on the other side of average. Other days I worry about every little thing he is/isn't doing. What if he isn't just on the slower end? What if something is wrong we haven't recognized yet? Why did he do that weird thing earlier? Etc., etc., etc. I've spent many a night googling and then freaking out internally about everything that could potentially be wrong with him. It's maddening. As luck would have it, it's often right after I get anxious about lack of progress that he makes some new huge leap and I get to breath easy for a little while. Darn babies!

I really feel you on the worry. It's really hard not to think about! I think the thing I worry about the most is his legs, which aren't getting much better. I just think back to my nephew (he's now ten months and practically walking) "standing" on my lap when he was less than two months old. DS has never done that and he's 8 months next week. I'm having nightmares about him needing Forrest Gump leg braces and a little wooden crutch like Tiny Tim one day (yes apparently in my visions we also time travel to when medicine was far less advanced).

This is all silly, I know, but I agree that it's so hard not to worry! He has made some big leaps though--I need to just focus on those and keep positive!

km_md · August 2014

Hugs @blue_elle‌ I think that is normal. I freak out all of the time even though we are pretty sure of the reason for DDs delays. Is your PT not very supportive? I would be really upset if mine acted disappointed. There is only so much you can do and the babies will get there if we keep working with them.

jhjocelyn · September 2014

Can I commiserate on simply having a "outside-the-norm" baby? Our struggle is growth, and even though DD is following her own very slow curve, I cringe whenever someone comments on her size. I too have to try hard not to compare her to other babies and remind myself that just being healthy is more important.

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