At a complete loss...someone please help me!!! — The Bump
Toddlers: 24 Months+

At a complete loss...someone please help me!!!

I am so frustrated I don't even know what to do with myself.

DS just turned 3 August 10. Started potty training him right before Christmas last year. He got #1 down immediately. Knock ok wood he never has accidents with #1. It's #2 that he can't seem to get down!

He says he's scared to go poop on the potty...about 25% of the time he will go but that's after I realize he needs to go bc he's doing a potty dance and looks uncomfortable. He'll always tell me he needs to go #1 by himself...he never tells me he needs to go #2.

Like I said about 25% of the time he'll go #2 on the potty after I've made him go sit on it but that's after at least 45 minutes of crying/freaking out/arguing with me that he doesn't need to go.

The other 75% of the time he'll go in his underwear. I feel like I try my HARDEST to not take my eyes off of him but somehow it still happens...if I turn around for one second he'll go. Or he'll go in his pull up before I go in his room in the morning to get him up. (He still wears pull ups to sleep)

I wouldn't be freaking out as bad as I am except he started 3 year old preschool today and they have a strict policy that all the 3 year old classes need to be potty trained. You have a one month grace period from the time that school starts to get it under control and if your child isn't potty trained at the end of the month they have to be removed from the program. They allow for the OCCASIONAL accident as accidents will happen but it can't be a regular thing.

First day was today and he pooped in his pants there. Went #1 totally fine but pooped in his underwear half way through the day.

I am so worried I won't be able to sort this out and he won't be able to go. He went last year for 2 year old preschool and loved it and made so many friends. I'd be so sad if he had to miss out on everything this year bc of this!!

Please ladies any advice would be so helpful! I've tried a reward system...stickers, lollipops, small prizes, candy...I've tried acting like I don't care to see if he picked it up on his own. I've tried telling him how frustrated it makes me and putting him in time out...I've tried every angle I can think of.

Please someone tell me what to do!!

<a href=Colin Reid born 40wk4days via C-Section"" title="Ovulation Calculator"><img src="" alt=" Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker" border="0" /></a>

Re: At a complete loss...someone please help me!!!

  • Is his poop hard or does it hurt for him to poop? I know that my DD would hold it in because she was slightly on the constipated side. I put a little bit of dissolvable fiber powder in her milk in the morning and that seemed to help make her poop softer and she was willing to go. Now we are going without any issues.
    After 2 years of TTC, our daughter was born on Oct 31, 2011!
    7lbs 13oz  20 inches long

  • Have you read any books about using the potty? I like "Once Upon a Potty" a lot:

    For DS, pooping is sometimes painful, and I have to remind him to sit (and not try to stand over) the potty, and lean forward. He would rather withhold poop than actually defecate, so we remind him of the most comfortable way to poop. We also have noticed that DS needs to poop about the same time every day, so we do ask him to sit on the potty for a bit and play on the iPad or something. That usually works...the positioning helps him go, I think.
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  • I get the teacher side but hate when we have to put that pressure on a kido! 

    Does he have a "poop routine"?  My daughter won't go at school/daycare either. 

    Our ped said to do dinner and about 20 minutes later put her on the potty and then do a bath. If she doesnt go while sitting on the potty at least its a fun relaxation time while her bath water is filling up. She will get into the routine of poop doesn't mean stress.  Then if she doesnt go at this point the bath water may make her feel like she has to go once shes relaxed.  The first few times she pooped in the tub.  But, I guess I would rather deal with that than the school issue. 

    Constipation is what I am wondering too?

    Do you think it is behavioral? If so, start the big boy talk and going to a big boy school.


  • I would second the always works to relax my DD.
    After 2 years of TTC, our daughter was born on Oct 31, 2011!
    7lbs 13oz  20 inches long

  • Total lurker here - but thought I might be able to add something. Often, when the kids see the other kids at school going to the potty, they catch on more quickly. My MIL used to keep a daycare and she said the kids kind of taught/encouraged each other. They would see another kid ask to go potty and remember that they needed to go to, and they didn't want to have to be the kid that pooped in his pants. Ten bucks says your little guy catches on during the grace period.
    First Child born 11/27/12
    Natural Birth - Water Birth - EBF - BLW - Cloth Diapers - BF Toddler - Montessori

    Twins born into Heaven
    BFP - 4/6/14, due date 12/8/14. First twin M/C at home - 5/5/14, Second twin D&C - 6/5/14

    TTA for three normal cycles per doctor's orders, and not sure of the plan after that. 
    [Deleted User][Deleted User]
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