August 2014 Moms
lookame3639
member
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please help...
lookame3639
member
A little backround- LO was born 4 weeks premature and had a 9 day stay in the nicu. Labor and delivery was a mess and recovery has been even worse. LO weighed in at 3lbs 7 ozs. I also have an 8 year old son. (Sorry this may get long)
so I'm having trouble with FI regarding visitors. Like i said before LO had a 9 day nicu stay which his dad called everyday for updates, his brother asked as soon as she came out if he could come visit her in the hospital. The only one who was reasonable was his mom especially when she heard LO was in the nicu and was as small as she was(she suggested no visitors for at least a month and waits for us to call with updates on her). FI went back to work 4 days after birth leaving me on my own from 7 am till 10 pm everyday. All the neediness of his family started getting to me which lead to an anxiety breakdown, full on panic attack in the parking lot while I was trying to visit LO in the nicu.
when LO was released we went to my parents to pick up DS. Since her release it's been only me doing everything aside from night feedings and changings (which FI does since he's home at night). I know I'm pushing myself to much as there's weekly appointments for LO and me. I've been diagnosed with iron deficiency so bad I require iron infusions, mastitis, yeast infection on my nipple, and a uterine infection. I'm supposed to be resting however the laundry needs done, the kitchen and living room needs cleaned, we have no food in the house and i have to pick DS up from school as well as get him to and from activities and exs place. I have to somehow fit in sleeping and eating and a shower...the only break i get is when I'm at my parents every other fri and sun and every weds. Then my mom cooks me some food and i can sit and rest a little.
FI is angry that not all of his family has seen LO (neither has mine mind you only my parents and my sisters kids but not my brother or sister or other relatives) we took her to see his dad and his wife and it wound up making me incredibly anxiety ridden. Every 10 minutes his dad was asking to call more people to meet her, dads wife made me feel like a shitty mom (she's hungry she's sucking on a pacifier, your not taking MY grand daughter to place x, y, z, she can still fit the preemie onsies i bought put one on her...see perfect fit - we could only use one of them once due to shrinking). I tried to discuss with FI and he didn't see and issue with the visit. Now his brother is asking to see LO again while I'm in intense pain due to mastitis and dealing with the yeast and still very anemic and the cramps are back from the uterine infection...
i need a freakin break. I only manage one meal a day...usually a breakfast bar and maybe a bowl of cereal and that's it. I'm exhasted and the one day FI has a couple of hrs off he wants to tote me and LO to his brothers...
what say you aug 14? How should I proceed here? Suck it up? We can't have visitors over since i have 2 birds which will only squawk the entire time...(am i being unreasonable for wanting to rest? If i weren't suffering from all the infections and health issues I'd be having ppa really bad...now i have ppa on top of everything else which isn't helping...)
so I'm having trouble with FI regarding visitors. Like i said before LO had a 9 day nicu stay which his dad called everyday for updates, his brother asked as soon as she came out if he could come visit her in the hospital. The only one who was reasonable was his mom especially when she heard LO was in the nicu and was as small as she was(she suggested no visitors for at least a month and waits for us to call with updates on her). FI went back to work 4 days after birth leaving me on my own from 7 am till 10 pm everyday. All the neediness of his family started getting to me which lead to an anxiety breakdown, full on panic attack in the parking lot while I was trying to visit LO in the nicu.
when LO was released we went to my parents to pick up DS. Since her release it's been only me doing everything aside from night feedings and changings (which FI does since he's home at night). I know I'm pushing myself to much as there's weekly appointments for LO and me. I've been diagnosed with iron deficiency so bad I require iron infusions, mastitis, yeast infection on my nipple, and a uterine infection. I'm supposed to be resting however the laundry needs done, the kitchen and living room needs cleaned, we have no food in the house and i have to pick DS up from school as well as get him to and from activities and exs place. I have to somehow fit in sleeping and eating and a shower...the only break i get is when I'm at my parents every other fri and sun and every weds. Then my mom cooks me some food and i can sit and rest a little.
FI is angry that not all of his family has seen LO (neither has mine mind you only my parents and my sisters kids but not my brother or sister or other relatives) we took her to see his dad and his wife and it wound up making me incredibly anxiety ridden. Every 10 minutes his dad was asking to call more people to meet her, dads wife made me feel like a shitty mom (she's hungry she's sucking on a pacifier, your not taking MY grand daughter to place x, y, z, she can still fit the preemie onsies i bought put one on her...see perfect fit - we could only use one of them once due to shrinking). I tried to discuss with FI and he didn't see and issue with the visit. Now his brother is asking to see LO again while I'm in intense pain due to mastitis and dealing with the yeast and still very anemic and the cramps are back from the uterine infection...
i need a freakin break. I only manage one meal a day...usually a breakfast bar and maybe a bowl of cereal and that's it. I'm exhasted and the one day FI has a couple of hrs off he wants to tote me and LO to his brothers...
what say you aug 14? How should I proceed here? Suck it up? We can't have visitors over since i have 2 birds which will only squawk the entire time...(am i being unreasonable for wanting to rest? If i weren't suffering from all the infections and health issues I'd be having ppa really bad...now i have ppa on top of everything else which isn't helping...)
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Re: please help...
....sometimes he really pisses me off...
I wouldn't be leaving the house with a uterine infection and everything else you have going on.
Do your parents and his get along? Since you're at your parents on set days, maybe have ONE person or couple from his family visit at that time every other week. No longer than an hour.
Make them come to you.
4 rounds of clomid, 2 with IUI = BFN
I would make a list of everything that needs doing and prioritize food for you, stuff your DS needs, and perhaps minimal laundry. Can you at least send FI out to the store for some fruit, cheese and crackers, bread and cold cuts? Can you spend more time with your parents until you're healthy?
I like the suggestion of receiving visitors at your parents' house if everyone gets along. Or have them visit you -- hopefully the squawking birds would convince them to not stay too long. And it sounds like FI should be doing chores, not snuggling the baby, when he's home.