Hey fellow 3T-ers,
I don't have any news to share about my journey, I just need to let off some steam, frustration, and overall crappy emotions. On Tuesday, I flew from CA to NJ for my sister's baby shower. Ever since I got here I have been working on baby this, diaper that, or some other baby centered task. In what little off time I have had, I find myself researching endometriosis and endometriomas. I love my sister and I am thrilled for her, but every happy emotion is quickly crushed by the recent news that I have stage IV endo and my never have children or at least will most likely not have children naturally. My Mom understands that it's hard for me to put on a smile and she has said to me many times that I am a good person for coming to support my sister. What makes it worse is that all of my childhood friends who are still here all have children of their own and whenever we get together, all they seem to do is talk about their children. My only other friend who does not have children just moved to Florida so she is not here. Fortunately, my best friend still lives around here and she has suffered for several years with very painful, stage III endo and has undergone numerous procedures with little to no relief. I am not saying that it's fortunate that she has endo, but I am glad that I have someone around who I can talk to and I am looking forward to getting together with her in a few days. She has a daughter, but she is five and I don't have the same negative attitude to her.
Anyway, I am trying to not let it get the best of me and especially not say anything that will take away from my sister's special day. Also, I am trying not dwell on something that I do not have all the facts for yet. I have an MRI the day after I get back, and then I meet with an OBGyn the following Monday. At this point, all I know is that there is a growth that is "likely" an endometrioma (the word "likely" is used on the Ultrasound write-up). I am looking forward to getting home to my husband and our two cats and focusing on what needs to be done next. I just need to remember to breathe. I am certain that even if I can't give birth to a child, I will give one a loving and nurturing home one way or another.
Thanks for listening to my rant. I feel a bit better. Now I have to go make dinner while my sister lounges on the couch. :-/
Love to all of you!
Re: Feeling Down in the Dumps (babies/shower/kids mentioned *not mine*)
Also, have you spoken to your re about a lap to zap away the Endo? I had level there completely ablated in June. Best of luck to you
-----------------------------------SIGGY WARNING-------------------------------------
Me: 31| DH: 36
TTC #1 Since 07/2010
DX: Unexplained Infertility
TX:
IUI #1 on 7/3/14 100 mg Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI (44 million sperm, 1 dominant follie) = BFN
IUI #2: on 7/28/14 100 mg Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI (23 million sperm, 2 dominant follies) = BFN
IUI #3 on 8/22/2014 100 mg Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI (53 million sperm, 2 dominant follies)= BFP MMC @ 7weeks
Thank you for the love and encouragement, Ladies! I am glad that there is an avenue like this forum to rant and complain about these issues with others and not be judged! I just find it ironic that we have to go onto a website devoted to pregnancy to get here. Oh well, such is life.
Thanks again!
So very sorry you're having a rought patch! I know my time immediately after my diagnosis was incredibly hard for me. I can't imagine if I'd been up close and personal with baby everything in the immedate aftermath.
It sounds like you have a wonderful attitude overall, though, and some very supportive people on your side - including all the ladies here.
Best of luck, and I wish you a safe trip home to your DH and kitties!
***SIGGY WARNING***
Me (26) & DH (26)
Dog Momma to 2 amazing furbabies
Started dating: May 6, 2005 & Married: August 4, 2012
Diagnosis: PCOS
September 2013 - January 2014: Not trying but not preventing
February 2014: Officially TTC (BBT, OPKs, etc)
February-August 2014: Irregular Cycles, U/S showed Fibroids/Cysts, Provera required to get AF, BFNs
September & October 2014: Testing Months with Reproductive Endocrinologist!
DH's SA: Normal (116.4 million sperm, 97% motility, 36% morphology) - WHO criteria
DH's Repeat SA: Poss. Low Morph. (138 million sperm, 73% motility, 8% morphology) - Kruger criteria
HSG and SIS: Normal (tubes clear)
Medicated Cycle: 5mg Letrozole + Trigger Injection + TI = BFP!!
ESTIMATED DUE DATE: AUGUST 13, 2015
Beta #1: 12/8 - 1,040 Beta #2: 12/10 - 2,902 Beta #3: 12/16 - 19,321
Ultrasound #1: 12/12 (5 weeks 1 day) - Gestational sac and yolk sac present
Ultrasound #2: 12/18 (6 weeks 0 days) - Measuring good, heart rate 99
Ultrasound #3: 12/26 (7 weeks 1 day) - Measuring good, heart rate 150
PCOS | Anovulatory | Metformin + Letrozole
I went out with some friends and laid down the rule that "baby" was the "b" word... and that we were not to say the "b" word this evening. It was good to get out, get away from the shower stuff, and have some margaritas with friends.
The shower is tomorrow (Saturday), my sister goes back home on Sunday, and then I can just hang out with my Mom until I fly back home on 9/9.
If it goes badly, there may be another long ranting post added to this discussion ...that might be interesting...