Can't Decide How To Announce At Family Gathering

Re: Can't Decide How To Announce At Family Gathering

• divinemsbee member

  August 2014

  I also would not do a big announcement type thing at someone else's party. That just seems tacky to me.
  

  
  

  

  
  
  

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• HerHighness member

  August 2014

  Stick your ultrasound photo in your parents anniversary card and let them announce it.

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• heatherwhite1984 member

  August 2014

  bumwaters said:

  I personally wouldn't announce it in a big way at an anniversary party but that is just me.   I would simply tell people during conversation.  You will still get congratulated and people will be excited but you aren't making their party all about you.  

  --- This. I would not announce at someone else's big party.

  
  I completely agree with what they are saying.

   

   

   

  

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• PrimRoseMama member

  August 2014

  I think you should wait & do it more low key. This is not a celebration to AW your pregnancy. Really, i would wait. /:)

  
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• ArgyleBride member

  August 2014

  Your family will still be in town immediately after the big party, yes?  You could tell them then.

  
  

  If it was my anniversary party, I wouldn't mind someone else announcing their pregnancy specifically, but the lack of consideration that went into that decision would (briefly) bother me.

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• MandN323 member

  August 2014

  Let me say that the whole party was put together by my mom in order for me to announce. I just don't want to make the whole thing about myself. 

  
  

  Sorry I didn't clarify sooner. 

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• allrightmeow member

  August 2014 edited August 2014

  MandN323 said:

  Hello fellow bumpies! 

  
  

  We have an ultrasound today and hopefully everything will go as planned We plan on sharing the wonderful news at a family/friends gathering on Saturday. I will be 12 weeks and all of our family will be in town. Any cute ideas of how to share the news?

  
  

  The party is for an anniversary so we don't want to "steal the thunder" but they want us to celebrate with everyone. (40 people+)

  
  

  Any cute ideas?

  If you're soliciting "cute ideas" on how to share the news, you most definitely will come off as trying to steal the anniversary couples thunder.  I personally wouldn't share my big news at someone else's event.  If you still want to do it, I suggest waiting till the very end of the festivities and just saying it plain and simple.  But, seriously. don't do it.  

  
  

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• divinemsbee member

  August 2014 edited August 2014

  I'm confused.
  
  Is it that your mom put together the party for herself so that there was an excuse to invite people over? Or is she planning this party for another couple?
  
  The first option, if it's for your mom and her partner (your dad/stepdad/mom/whomever) then I don't see the worrying about 'stealing thunder' because she wanted to throw this party in part to announce it for you. I think PPs idea of giving them a card with the ultrasound for them to open at the party is cute.
  
  If it's the second, then I am side-eye-ing you and your mom big time because who on earth makes a couple think that they're throwing an anniversary party for that couple, but in reality they're just throwing the party to give the thrower's kid an excuse to announce a pregnancy. That would seem kind of a crappy thing to do.
  
  I'm hoping it's option 1, so I think whatever you do will be fine.
  

  
  

  

  
  
  

  TTC #1 since 11/2012
  Me-31, H-27
  **Loss 1-Cycle 7(June 2013) at 5w6d-CP**Loss 2-Cycle 11(October 2013) at 5w4d-CP**
  **Loss 3-Cycle 14 (January-February 2014)-M/C dx 2/10, EP dx 2/24, MTX 2/25**
  Beta Hell--hCG finally down to 0 - 6/20/14
  SA normal. Genetic testing normal. Hormonal testing normal.
  HSG 6/30/14 - found blocked left tube and 2 'bubbles' on uterine wall.
  Hysteroscopy/Lap--8/4/14 - Tubes unblocked. Polyps removed from uterine wall. Septum removed.
   9/30/14--Off the bench! Unmedicated TI through December 2014
  BFP 12/14/14!!! Beta #1, 12/16: 990 Beta #2, 12/18: Over 2000! Beta #3, 12/22: over 8000!
   U/S #1, 12/23: gestational sac, possible heartbeat
  U/S #2, 12/30: HEARTBEAT! 128bpm, measuring right on at 7w EDD: 8/19/2015
  U/S #3, 1/9: BPM in the 180s, IT'S HAPPENING!!!
  

  

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• PrimRoseMama member

  August 2014

  I call bullshit on the mom arranging this party so OP could announce. Don't lie to me & insult my intelligence, really?
  
  You want to announce at someone else's party. That's rude, tacky & attention-whoring. Let the guest of honor have their lime light & announce at a different time.
  
  You do know that the world doesn't revolve around you & your uterus right?

  
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• absolutelymaybe member

  August 2014

  Whose anniversary is it? Is it your parents anniversary or is your mom planning this anniversary party for someone else? I feel like I'm missing key details.
  
  If your mom is planning the anniversary party and it is for her own anniversary (but not really since she is secretly planning it to AW your pregnancy), then they obviously already know so giving them an ultrasound picture in a card (as PP suggested) would be pointless.
  
  As long as the guests of honor are on board with it, I would go ahead and announce.
  
  

  
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• babyxmas member

  August 2014

  LongLiveTheEvilQueen said:

  HerHighness said:

  Stick your ultrasound photo in your parents anniversary card and let them announce it.

  I love this idea. Semi-private and gives your parents the choice of announcing. If they feel it isn't a good time they simply won't.

  I agree with this. My parents would be thrilled announcing. Bet its the best anniversary gift they ever received.
  

  
  

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• ArgyleBride member

  August 2014

  If it's your parents' anniversary party they're also hosting, announce however you like.  I think it would be sweet to let them do it, since they are obviously excited enough to throw a cover party.

  
  

  If your mom is hosting for someone else who is not in on the party-is-not-really-for-them secret, I legitimately feel awful for them.  I'm imagining being surprised and touched by how excited someone was to do something nice for me, only to have the bottom drop out when it dawned on me that it was staged for a daughter's pregnancy announcement.  I'd probably get sick I'd be so upset.

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• Mary and Dave member

  August 2014

  Condescending Wonka says it all.

  image.jpg 39.7K

  
  

  
  

  
  

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• RMama2012 member

  August 2014

  OK, if this is your parents anniversary, then let them toast and announce they will be grandparents.

  If this is someone elses anniversary, no, save it for another time.

  
  

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• Empireceo member

  August 2014 edited August 2014

  I don't buy that your parents planned an entire party for 40+ people just so you could say you're pregnant. I shudder to think of the baby shower/sex reveal/nursery reveal tomfuckery that is coming. At some point your parents will address their guests, no? Maybe they could mention that they are entering a new phase as grandparents soon. That's what I'd do, I guess.

   
  

  

  

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• Meery82 member

  August 2014

  Empireceo said:

  I don't buy that your parents planned an entire party for 40+ people just so you could say you're pregnant. I shudder to think of the baby shower/sex reveal/nursery reveal tomfuckery that is coming. At some point your parents will address their guests, no? Maybe they could mention that they are entering a new phase as grandparents soon. That's what I'd do, I guess.

  Tomfuckery! I love it!

  

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• Meery82 member

  August 2014

  MrsMuq said:

  My guess is the OP won't be coming back for any more "clarifications."
  

  Methinks you're right.

  

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• hello_im_tash member

  August 2014

  My grandparents had their 50th wedding anniversary soon after we told them and they asked if it was okay if they could announce it to everyone during because they were so excited and we knew that everyone was going to be. The party wasn't planned for the specific reason of announcing my pregnancy but it certainly was an added bonus that we could share that with friends and family at the same time. 

  
  

  OP I don't think you would have to worry about stealing their thunder if they are okay with you announcing or suggested it.

  
  

  I would just let people know as you make your rounds greeting people that you have some "exciting news" that you want to share and tell them you are expecting. If your family is anything like mine you will only have to tell a few and then word will spread for you....hahaha!

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• asws1208 member

  August 2014

  GhostMonkey said:

  ArgyleBride said:

  If it's your parents' anniversary party they're also hosting, announce however you like.  I think it would be sweet to let them do it, since they are obviously excited enough to throw a cover party.

  
  

  If your mom is hosting for someone else who is not in on the party-is-not-really-for-them secret, I legitimately feel awful for them.  I'm imagining being surprised and touched by how excited someone was to do something nice for me, only to have the bottom drop out when it dawned on me that it was staged for a daughter's pregnancy announcement.  I'd probably get sick I'd be so upset.

  Even if it is her parents' anniversary, it's still a shitty move on her mom's part. A fake anniversary party to announce a pregnancy? Obnoxious.
  
  
  Fuck, I hope no one in that family has had a loss or is struggling to get pregnant.
  

  So you can't announce a pregnancy to a group because someone might have had a loss or is struggling? Don't think so.

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• asws1208 member

  August 2014

  bumwaters said:

  asws1208 said:

  GhostMonkey said:

  ArgyleBride said:

  If it's your parents' anniversary party they're also hosting, announce however you like.  I think it would be sweet to let them do it, since they are obviously excited enough to throw a cover party.

  
  

  If your mom is hosting for someone else who is not in on the party-is-not-really-for-them secret, I legitimately feel awful for them.  I'm imagining being surprised and touched by how excited someone was to do something nice for me, only to have the bottom drop out when it dawned on me that it was staged for a daughter's pregnancy announcement.  I'd probably get sick I'd be so upset.

  Even if it is her parents' anniversary, it's still a shitty move on her mom's part. A fake anniversary party to announce a pregnancy? Obnoxious.
  
  
  Fuck, I hope no one in that family has had a loss or is struggling to get pregnant.
  

  So you can't announce a pregnancy to a group because someone might have had a loss or is struggling? Don't think so.

  No skittles or beach vacations for the poor and now no consideration for other's feelings. Winner winner chicken dinner.
  

  Seriously?? I am just saying you can't NOT announce your pregnancy because you are afraid someone might be struggling. 

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• Meery82 member

  August 2014

  asws1208 said:

  bumwaters said:

  asws1208 said:

  GhostMonkey said:

  ArgyleBride said:

  If it's your parents' anniversary party they're also hosting, announce however you like.  I think it would be sweet to let them do it, since they are obviously excited enough to throw a cover party.

  
  

  If your mom is hosting for someone else who is not in on the party-is-not-really-for-them secret, I legitimately feel awful for them.  I'm imagining being surprised and touched by how excited someone was to do something nice for me, only to have the bottom drop out when it dawned on me that it was staged for a daughter's pregnancy announcement.  I'd probably get sick I'd be so upset.

  Even if it is her parents' anniversary, it's still a shitty move on her mom's part. A fake anniversary party to announce a pregnancy? Obnoxious.
  
  
  Fuck, I hope no one in that family has had a loss or is struggling to get pregnant.
  

  So you can't announce a pregnancy to a group because someone might have had a loss or is struggling? Don't think so.

  No skittles or beach vacations for the poor and now no consideration for other's feelings. Winner winner chicken dinner.
  

  Seriously?? I am just saying you can't NOT announce your pregnancy because you are afraid someone might be struggling. 

  It's tacky regardless. One's pregnancy does not require a dramatic drumroll announcement. A little humility goes a long way.

  

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• asws1208 member

  August 2014

  OP I don't think its tacky. I do not think you should steal anyone's thunder but you know your family. My family would have gladly wanted it announced no matter where or when it was! 

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• Empireceo member

  August 2014

  asws1208 said:

  OP I don't think its tacky. I do not think you should steal anyone's thunder but you know your family. My family would have gladly wanted it announced no matter where or when it was! 

  
  For the love of all things holy, OP, don't EVER listen to advice from this person.

   
  

  

  

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• pblge member

  August 2014

  I just want to say that I appreciate the posters here who gave consideration to anyone at the party who might have experienced loss or miscarriage. I've been trying to conceive #1 for about 2.5 years now (which isn't all that long for an infertile couple), including two miscarriages, and every pregnancy announcement is like a punch in the gut. I'm happy for people, of course, but it just takes a while to process it, and I prefer to do that alone. If I were out on a bad infertility day, when tears are just below the surface, at a party that I thought would be safe and baby-free, having a pregnancy announcement sprung on me as a surprise would be very painful. That's not to say that others aren't entitled to make these announcements in any way that they choose, public or not. All I'm saying is that I really appreciate the awareness of the pain that public surprise announcements can cause some couples.
  

  **********************siggy/ticker warning**********************
  
  ***Losses mentioned.*** TTC #1 since May 2012. Me: 37, OH: 41. Ectopic August 2012 => tubal damage.   Stage 1 endo removed June 2013. IVF #1 Oct/Nov 2013: Long Lupron with Gonal-F. 7R, 7M, 7F. 2 txfer@3d. Nothing frozen.  => M/C @ 8 wks. Selected RPL panel all normal. Very hyper and brittle response to stims. IVF #2 (antagonist protocol) Feb 2014 => Converted to IUI (Perfect conditions). BFN. IVF #2.1 w/ new RE June 2014: Antagonist protocol. 33R, 31M, 30F, 19 blasts to test!!! I made it through without crashing!! Hats off to Dr. Fancypants!! ET of one 5AB blast. BFN. 13 10 CCS'ed snowflakes! FET #1 PUPO as of 7/29 Betas: 8/7@24, 8/9@97, 8/11@334 (etc.) Two sacs on 8/15, one seen on 8/18 after a bleed. U/s 8/25 (6+3) "perfect": 5.9 mm + HB@120bpm! U/s 9/4 (7+6): 15.9 mm + HB@172 bpm! Please, PLEASE stick this time!!!!
  

  

  
  

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• yvanehtnioj member

  August 2014

  pblge said:

  I just want to say that I appreciate the posters here who gave consideration to anyone at the party who might have experienced loss or miscarriage. I've been trying to conceive #1 for about 2.5 years now (which isn't all that long for an infertile couple), including two miscarriages, and every pregnancy announcement is like a punch in the gut. I'm happy for people, of course, but it just takes a while to process it, and I prefer to do that alone. If I were out on a bad infertility day, when tears are just below the surface, at a party that I thought would be safe and baby-free, having a pregnancy announcement sprung on me as a surprise would be very painful. That's not to say that others aren't entitled to make these announcements in any way that they choose, public or not. All I'm saying is that I really appreciate the awareness of the pain that public surprise announcements can cause some couples.
  

  ESPECIALLY if said party was really just an excuse to get a bunch of people into the same room to announce a pregnancy, as OP claims. That can't be right, it's just too ludicrous. 

  
  
  

  H e n r y  May 21, 2014
  
  

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• pblge member

  August 2014

  GhostMonkey said:

  yvanehtnioj said:

  pblge said:

  I just want to say that I appreciate the posters here who gave consideration to anyone at the party who might have experienced loss or miscarriage. I've been trying to conceive #1 for about 2.5 years now (which isn't all that long for an infertile couple), including two miscarriages, and every pregnancy announcement is like a punch in the gut. I'm happy for people, of course, but it just takes a while to process it, and I prefer to do that alone. If I were out on a bad infertility day, when tears are just below the surface, at a party that I thought would be safe and baby-free, having a pregnancy announcement sprung on me as a surprise would be very painful. That's not to say that others aren't entitled to make these announcements in any way that they choose, public or not. All I'm saying is that I really appreciate the awareness of the pain that public surprise announcements can cause some couples.
  

  ESPECIALLY if said party was really just an excuse to get a bunch of people into the same room to announce a pregnancy, as OP claims. That can't be right, it's just too ludicrous. 

  People are pretty self centered like that sadly.
  
  Bad IF day + going to an "anniversary party" that is just a ruse to announce a pregnancy? Yeah, I would have been drinking until I thought my hands fell off because I couldn't feel them.
  
  

  Can't drink when you're doing IVF. One more reason infertility sucks donkey balls, because believe me WE NEED A FUCKING DRINK.
  

  **********************siggy/ticker warning**********************
  
  ***Losses mentioned.*** TTC #1 since May 2012. Me: 37, OH: 41. Ectopic August 2012 => tubal damage.   Stage 1 endo removed June 2013. IVF #1 Oct/Nov 2013: Long Lupron with Gonal-F. 7R, 7M, 7F. 2 txfer@3d. Nothing frozen.  => M/C @ 8 wks. Selected RPL panel all normal. Very hyper and brittle response to stims. IVF #2 (antagonist protocol) Feb 2014 => Converted to IUI (Perfect conditions). BFN. IVF #2.1 w/ new RE June 2014: Antagonist protocol. 33R, 31M, 30F, 19 blasts to test!!! I made it through without crashing!! Hats off to Dr. Fancypants!! ET of one 5AB blast. BFN. 13 10 CCS'ed snowflakes! FET #1 PUPO as of 7/29 Betas: 8/7@24, 8/9@97, 8/11@334 (etc.) Two sacs on 8/15, one seen on 8/18 after a bleed. U/s 8/25 (6+3) "perfect": 5.9 mm + HB@120bpm! U/s 9/4 (7+6): 15.9 mm + HB@172 bpm! Please, PLEASE stick this time!!!!
  

  

  
  

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• Empireceo member

  August 2014

  aditigirl said:

  @asws1208‌ aren't you the one who said once you were out of 1st Tri you wouldn't be sticking around? Shouldn't you mosey on outta here?

  
  @aditigirl‌ I think that was Sahara whatever. The dumb is hard to keep straight around here though for sure.

   
  

  

  

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• ASmallWonder member

  August 2014

  Aside from your parents and likely to a lesser degree your siblings and best friends, nobody cares that much that you're pregnant.  People are happy for pregnant people and all that but in a "I'm pregnant!"  "Congrats!" move on to your regularly scheduled programming way.  A party just to say two words?  Ain't nobody got time for that.

  Formerly known as elmoali

  
  

  
  

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• srcr2011 member

  August 2014

  GhostMonkey said:

  ArgyleBride said:

  If it's your parents' anniversary party they're also hosting, announce however you like.  I think it would be sweet to let them do it, since they are obviously excited enough to throw a cover party.

  
  

  If your mom is hosting for someone else who is not in on the party-is-not-really-for-them secret, I legitimately feel awful for them.  I'm imagining being surprised and touched by how excited someone was to do something nice for me, only to have the bottom drop out when it dawned on me that it was staged for a daughter's pregnancy announcement.  I'd probably get sick I'd be so upset.

  Even if it is her parents' anniversary, it's still a shitty move on her mom's part. A fake anniversary party to announce a pregnancy? Obnoxious.
  
  
  Fuck, I hope no one in that family has had a loss or is struggling to get pregnant.
  

  YUP! I agree with the bold, (because I have been there).
  
  Also, I would be upset if I was invited to a lovey anniversay party to celebrate marital milestones, went out of my way to get a gift, then to come to realized I was bamboozled! It was a fake.
  
  I would side eye you for announcing at a party that wasn't your party (even if it "really" was yours) because that is rude, tacky and cheap (because you obviously can't afford your own party, you have to steal someone's party for your AW needs).
  
  But if you do decide to do it anyway, here is a "cute" suggestion...
  Why don't you pop out of the "Anniversary" Cake. You could totally wear a Pink glitter crown and a blue sash. You could also hold pink and blue balloons with custom printed U/S pics printed on them and pass them out! Tote cute, right???
  

  
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• [Deleted User] member

  August 2014 edited August 2014

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• overthemoon80 member

  August 2014

  Maybe do this towards the end. If it's a party for your parents - I'm sure they are busting at the seams to share so if it's their party they could make a speech and somehow sneak it in there.... Or Take a group photo and whoever is taking photo say ---insert your name ---- is pregnant!

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