Stay at Home Moms

WWYD preschool & undiagnosed behavior

I posted a few months ago about DS' s behavior, how he can be extremely high energy, destructive, & just generally defiant. He was evaluated in May by EI (turned 3 in june), scored average or above in all areas, & they felt that this is basically just his temperament. Actually described him as charming & delightful. Fast forward to summer and he seemed to be calming down as bit...as it turned out he had mono. No wonder he didn't have the energy to literally bounce off the walls.

After several weeks of this calmer behavior, suddenly a week or so ago, it was like a flip switched. Some days are more intense than others. From consulting dr. Google a year ago and more recently, I really feel like he is displaying sensory - seeking behaviors. I mean, I feel my heart sinking as I go down the checklist because it's spot on. Stomping his feet, hitting the walls, banging toys, hanging off doorknobs, harassing the dogs, screeching and roaring just to make noise, etc. Even the gym childcare ladies occasionally mention how "full of energy" he is & they see 30+ kids a day. I could tell that he was a handful in MMO as well.

My question is, do I bring this up to his preschool teachers? On one hand I don't want him flagged as a troublemaker before he even starts, on the other it may help them be prepared to know what to expect and to help him manage his behavior. But without a diagnosis, I don't know what to do.

Re: WWYD preschool & undiagnosed behavior

  • I would bring it up to the teachers as an area of concern, and follow up by asking for periodic reports. They may not see anything wrong and just see him as high energy, or they may be relieved that Mom seems to be on the same page and give you ideas/resources to seek help.  I don't think mentioning it to the teachers is going to flag him for any behavior.  Most teachers take parents' opinions with a grain of salt, and then form their own opinions.  It is helpful to know that a parent has a concern, though, because it makes that initial contact easier if there is a problem. 

    I would not bring up your arm chair diagnosis, and if you think that he does have a sensory disorder, you should talk to his pediatrician.  Preschool teachers are not trained to diagnose, and will only bring it up if his behavior is outside the norm.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker


    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Our preschool did there own screenings. Otherwise, I honestly wouldn't mention it. DD is going through some assessments now and starts school on Tuesday. I am waiting, because honestly I have nothing to really tell them yet. The preschool teachers will be a great tool in telling you if there are concerns.
  • Loading the player...
  • I've worked with children for a long time now.  I would mention the areas of concern in a broad manner (no self diagnosing).  Let them know you want to be proactive and ask for reports, their observations and suggestions.  I would do this because it is general practice when teachers see such behaviors to take their time in broaching the subject with parents.  Parents are often in denial and bringing up the subject can further push them into denial.  In my work with children I would look for things the parents bring up and try to reflect their observations back, gently confirming it.  I would also mention the behaviors in a objective, gentle manner so that it starts to show up on their radar.  Because ultimately, in most cases of major diagnosis' (ADHA, autism etc) parents need to see the light for themselves before they can accept it.

    If I was your child's teacher and you came to me first I would know you are on board, aware and want to be proactive and I could then skip all the gentle prodding and comments and get right down to the nitty gritty.

    That said, I'm not sure what your child's teachers education is...here we have at least a course or two covering special needs and strategies that would aid us in helping the child.  The above poster is correct though, we are teachers (of any grade level) are not able (or skilled enough) to make diagnosis' we can merely work with the behaviors.  SO, do bring it up with your doctor...again try to do it in an objective way not "dr google says my kid has__" as the doctors will likely smile, nod and ignore! 

    One last thing to consider...and I'm not sure if it is accurate for your child, but many truly GIFTED children have very explosive emotions/behaviors in their early years in addition to signs of utter boredom.  So, watch for signs that your child is needing challenges to prevent boredom and is needing help understanding and controlling emotions.  It is not uncommon for them to hit and scream and melt down and tantrum. In school they act out due to boredom and get mistaken for having behavior issues or lower IQ's they can be very sensitive emotionally etc.

     

     

  • I would let the teacher know your concerns. I might look into a private ot Eval as well.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Also you may want to post to the Special needs board and ask for advice. They may be able to give you some strategies to help curb some of his behaviors.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • lyingliarlieslyingliarlies member
    edited September 2014
    Thank you all for your insights. I appreciate your perspectives and it really helped me think through this. Spring_time and =Lee=B, you two hit the nail on the head - as far as how I did NOT want to come across and that I am aware of his behavior want to be proactive. I wrote a brief description in his intro packet where it asked if there's anything we feel they should know about our child. He had a great first day and I'll keep lines of communication open with his teachers.

    DH & i have wondered if boredom brings on some of the behavior. He's only had 2 tantrums ever (what I think of as typical toddler meltdowns or tantrums.) He's just...different. He really doesn't seem to act out of anger or frustration when he is being destructive or aggressive but we can't pinpoint the actual cause of the behavior. Hell I wish that he pushed a shopping cart into his little friend because he was angry that she took a toy from him, we can help him work through those feelings - but nope he just went up to her from across the room and did it. It seems that sort of evaluation will be needed to figure out the cause, & how to help him. Again thank you all.

This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"