Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
ddvj79
member
Re: IVF in Seattle
Thanks very much @GrailSeeker14 !
I got another recommendation for Poma Fertility (https://www.pomafertility.com/) in Kirkland. We are thinking we should talk to them as well because their self pay covers a lot more & is only $9200 without accounting for the cost of meds ofcourse.
PNWF is slightly more expensive compared to SRM but I did try SRM (Bellevue) for IUIs are wasn't happy with them so I am very hesitant to move back to SRM for IVF
I will update the thread once I've had my consult on Wednesday...
Funny, (not really) we're both on the same dose of Levothroxine except I have to take 150mcg on Sundays :-)
Good luck to you, I really really hope you get your full term healthy baby with your first IVF cycle ! Fx & baby dust to you!
DH : 36, has Chronic Kidney Disease, on dialysis & is waiting on the transplant list (average wait for B+ is 5 years)
Me: 36, Hypothyroidism, PCOS, BMI 32, need to be done with "child bearing" ASAP so that I can be a Kidney donor (was fun realizing we didn't as much time as we thought :-/ )
We're TTC#1
IUI #1 : 5mcg Letrozole (CD 3-7) + Ovidrel Trigger + Had the one follicle = BFN (March 2014)
IUI #2 : 5mcg Letrozole (CD 3-7) + 150 iu Bravelle on CD9 (after much begging!) + Had the one follicle = BFN (April 2014)
7th May 2014 - changed REs, this one seems to care (we think....)
IUI #3 : 7mcg Letrozole (CD 3- 7) + 75 iu Bravelle (CD 8-12) + CD12 Scan 5/16 + Had 3 follicles (2 under 15mm) = BFN(May 2014)
IUI #4 : 7mcg Letrozole (CD 3- 7) + 75 iu Bravelle (CD 8-12) + CD12 Scan 5/16 + Had 1 follicle + DH gave best sample so far = BFN(June 2014)
IVF#1 - ER Only Cycle Sept-Oct 2014, 17 eggs Retrieved, 14 mature, 10 fertilized, 6 made it to Blast & post PGS 5 were not viable due to chromosomal abnormalities
Not sure where we go from here...
We're parents to two very adorable, bratty, affectionate & goofy Bernese Mountain Dog pups who would very much like a 2 legged baby brother or sister of their own!
jrtmom !!!!
That's terrific! I personally think IVF is pretty scary...:-(
We started with SRM Bellevue & to be honest in my case they were terrible, almost (possibly they did) screwed up my 2nd IUI. They're more like a factory. They don't customize your IUI per your issues, I checked with 2-3 other ladies who pretty much had the same issue at SRM. They also used the most expensive pharmacy out there without the discounts we can get for fertility meds (even on insurance). I have a fixed lifetime coverage for fertility through my company & 4 IUIs used up quite a bit!
Few folks at MSFT recommended me to PNWF. With PNWF, they made a plan for me based on my test results so felt like they made an effort. I am curious what vials did they leave out too long ? I will keep an eye out for that especially with the IVF. In my case for IUI I was on Femara, Bravelle (I self administered) & Novarel trigger (which I took with me & they immediately administered it after my CD12 ultrasound). So nothing they could leave out with my IUIs.
DH : 36, has Chronic Kidney Disease, on dialysis & is waiting on the transplant list (average wait for B+ is 5 years)
Me: 36, Hypothyroidism, PCOS, BMI 32, need to be done with "child bearing" ASAP so that I can be a Kidney donor (was fun realizing we didn't as much time as we thought :-/ )
We're TTC#1
IUI #1 : 5mcg Letrozole (CD 3-7) + Ovidrel Trigger + Had the one follicle = BFN (March 2014)
IUI #2 : 5mcg Letrozole (CD 3-7) + 150 iu Bravelle on CD9 (after much begging!) + Had the one follicle = BFN (April 2014)
7th May 2014 - changed REs, this one seems to care (we think....)
IUI #3 : 7mcg Letrozole (CD 3- 7) + 75 iu Bravelle (CD 8-12) + CD12 Scan 5/16 + Had 3 follicles (2 under 15mm) = BFN(May 2014)
IUI #4 : 7mcg Letrozole (CD 3- 7) + 75 iu Bravelle (CD 8-12) + CD12 Scan 5/16 + Had 1 follicle + DH gave best sample so far = BFN(June 2014)
IVF#1 - ER Only Cycle Sept-Oct 2014, 17 eggs Retrieved, 14 mature, 10 fertilized, 6 made it to Blast & post PGS 5 were not viable due to chromosomal abnormalities
Not sure where we go from here...
We're parents to two very adorable, bratty, affectionate & goofy Bernese Mountain Dog pups who would very much like a 2 legged baby brother or sister of their own!
Me = 39 DH = 50 TTC (since 01/2009 after a short break, I stopped counting *cycles* in 2010)
DX 2010 : Unknown Infertility , AMA
HSG 2005 = Normal / HSG 2010 = Normal
SA 2005 = Normal / SA 2010 /2012 = Slightly low count : motility, morphology GREAT!
Chromosomal analysis, MTHFR, ANA's, Lupus, Protein C, Protein S, APCR = Normal 2011
M/C : 2005 (7wk), 2010 (6wk), 2011 (7wk)
8 IUI's 2010-2011 all BFN
IVF/ICSI antagonist 01/2012 #1 = BFN
IVF/ICSI antagonist long 06/2012 #2 = BFN
IVF/ICSI/CGH MDLF New Clinic/New RE 11/2012 #3 = One beautiful boy blasty frozen PGS normal
IVF/ICSI/CGH MDLF 02/2013 #4 = One more beautiful boy blasty frozen PGS normal
FET 6/20 : One 5AA PGS normal transferred Beta 1 6/28 = 53.9 / Beta 2 7/1 = 220 / Beta 3 7/3 = 550!
1 U/S 6w3d - Heartbeat 119 / 2 U/S - 7w5d- Heartbeat 169 / 3 U/S (OB) 8w5d - Heartbeat still great!
Baby G welcomed into the world 3/7/2014
SAIF / PAIF always welcome ****
DH : 36, has Chronic Kidney Disease, on dialysis & is waiting on the transplant list (average wait for B+ is 5 years)
Me: 36, Hypothyroidism, PCOS, BMI 32, need to be done with "child bearing" ASAP so that I can be a Kidney donor (was fun realizing we didn't as much time as we thought :-/ )
We're TTC#1
IUI #1 : 5mcg Letrozole (CD 3-7) + Ovidrel Trigger + Had the one follicle = BFN (March 2014)
IUI #2 : 5mcg Letrozole (CD 3-7) + 150 iu Bravelle on CD9 (after much begging!) + Had the one follicle = BFN (April 2014)
7th May 2014 - changed REs, this one seems to care (we think....)
IUI #3 : 7mcg Letrozole (CD 3- 7) + 75 iu Bravelle (CD 8-12) + CD12 Scan 5/16 + Had 3 follicles (2 under 15mm) = BFN(May 2014)
IUI #4 : 7mcg Letrozole (CD 3- 7) + 75 iu Bravelle (CD 8-12) + CD12 Scan 5/16 + Had 1 follicle + DH gave best sample so far = BFN(June 2014)
IVF#1 - ER Only Cycle Sept-Oct 2014, 17 eggs Retrieved, 14 mature, 10 fertilized, 6 made it to Blast & post PGS 5 were not viable due to chromosomal abnormalities
Not sure where we go from here...
We're parents to two very adorable, bratty, affectionate & goofy Bernese Mountain Dog pups who would very much like a 2 legged baby brother or sister of their own!
DH : 36, has Chronic Kidney Disease, on dialysis & is waiting on the transplant list (average wait for B+ is 5 years)
Me: 36, Hypothyroidism, PCOS, BMI 32, need to be done with "child bearing" ASAP so that I can be a Kidney donor (was fun realizing we didn't as much time as we thought :-/ )
We're TTC#1
IUI #1 : 5mcg Letrozole (CD 3-7) + Ovidrel Trigger + Had the one follicle = BFN (March 2014)
IUI #2 : 5mcg Letrozole (CD 3-7) + 150 iu Bravelle on CD9 (after much begging!) + Had the one follicle = BFN (April 2014)
7th May 2014 - changed REs, this one seems to care (we think....)
IUI #3 : 7mcg Letrozole (CD 3- 7) + 75 iu Bravelle (CD 8-12) + CD12 Scan 5/16 + Had 3 follicles (2 under 15mm) = BFN(May 2014)
IUI #4 : 7mcg Letrozole (CD 3- 7) + 75 iu Bravelle (CD 8-12) + CD12 Scan 5/16 + Had 1 follicle + DH gave best sample so far = BFN(June 2014)
IVF#1 - ER Only Cycle Sept-Oct 2014, 17 eggs Retrieved, 14 mature, 10 fertilized, 6 made it to Blast & post PGS 5 were not viable due to chromosomal abnormalities
Not sure where we go from here...
We're parents to two very adorable, bratty, affectionate & goofy Bernese Mountain Dog pups who would very much like a 2 legged baby brother or sister of their own!
Then after I finally got all those other doctors to sign off on me getting pregnant, suddenly something that had been our choice (whether to have one or two embryos implanted) was taken away from us without any discussion or contact from the doctor. It was just this bomb that was an off-handed comment in an email from her nurse. Instead of recommending only one embryo at a time for implantation (something the hubby and I hadn't yet made a decision on, and which we were told was up to us), suddenly they were refusing to do more than one, and when I expressed frustration that the doctor had not included us in any discussion nor even given us this potentially life-changing information herself, there was no concern about how we felt. In fact, we were never able to speak to the doctor again.
On top of all of this, the nurse herself was one of the worst medical professionals I have ever had to deal with. I'm fairly well educated and able to ask solid questions about my treatment. However, even something as straightforward as, "What's the next step after this test?" went unanswered. She simply refused to answer anything we asked beyond the reporting of the latest test results. IVF is difficult enough when you have the best information, but when you are being seemingly deliberately kept in the dark, it's frightening.
When I went above her to ask if I might transfer to a different doctor in the practice to get away from Shahine's fat-shaming and the nurse's obstructionism, suddenly I was treated like I was doctor-shopping for one who would do two embryos--which I repeatedly expressed was not the case. I just wanted someone who treated me with some borderline respect. The phone call ended with them telling me they would not work with me. It has since been suggested to me that they more likely believed I would never get pregnant and didn't want me included in their success/failure ratio and simply made things unbearable in the hope I would leave.
So we did. Dr. Klein at SRM in Seattle was a much better fit. We had tried the Kirkland SRM, but they were terrible. Dr. Klein and most of the Seattle staff treated us like we were educated and motivated. We were not made to prove that I was worthy of being pregnant, and had to do a few more tests and then were ready to go. I am now almost halfway through what seems like a normal pregnancy, and far from being in the high-risk category that Shahine's people insisted, I am actually giving birth in a non-hospital setting with midwives.
A few weeks after I became pregnant, I had some bleeding, and Dr. Klein addressed it immediately, assured me that it was unlikely an indication of a serious problem and got us back in the headspace for a healthy pregnancy. And when a month ago, we got terrible news that a test said our baby had severe genetic issues and would not likely live even though the pregnancy, let alone his first year, it was not the geneticist at Eastside Maternal Fetal Medicine (where the test was done) who took the time to carefully explain things and make sure that we did not fall to pieces, it was the geneticist at SRM who reached out to us, gave us a lot of information and comfort, and who followed through on everything she promised. It turned out that the first test was flawed, and our baby is fine.
Our only complaint has been with one of their finance people who cannot seem to remember what order our insurance is in or what is covered. We've had to get some of their other finance people to step in to fix the many problems. But in the end, it got resolved and they even managed to bill us in such a way as to take the smallest chunk out of both our fertility benefit AND our wallets. Which is almost as big a miracle as the baby himself.
I hope things go well for you. And you find a situation in which you are comfortable and as stress-free as possible.
I am so sorry you had such a horrible experience. Just reading it stressed me out so much, I cannot imagine what you have been through... (Hugs)
I feel her IVF people now are definitely better than her IUI people...her nurse actually reminded me today that I hadn't ordered my stim meds yet - which I appreciate. That said, I'm not in a place yet to form an opinion about their IVF till the ER & FET are done.
We infact told them & SRM up front that we want to aim for multiples given our situation & if that doesn't work for them then we'd go elsewhere. They put that in my chart as well saying we preferred multiples. Now, words are cheap...I will have to see how the whole thing pans out. I gave SRM a bad review on yelp based on my experience & these people are aware of that too. If this doesn't work out, we are seriously considering either Poma or Oregon Reproductive Medicine.
Hope your baby is super healthy & all the negative experiences you have had are it & only fun & good things are ahead for all of you! :-)
DH : 36, has Chronic Kidney Disease, on dialysis & is waiting on the transplant list (average wait for B+ is 5 years)
Me: 36, Hypothyroidism, PCOS, BMI 32, need to be done with "child bearing" ASAP so that I can be a Kidney donor (was fun realizing we didn't as much time as we thought :-/ )
We're TTC#1
IUI #1 : 5mcg Letrozole (CD 3-7) + Ovidrel Trigger + Had the one follicle = BFN (March 2014)
IUI #2 : 5mcg Letrozole (CD 3-7) + 150 iu Bravelle on CD9 (after much begging!) + Had the one follicle = BFN (April 2014)
7th May 2014 - changed REs, this one seems to care (we think....)
IUI #3 : 7mcg Letrozole (CD 3- 7) + 75 iu Bravelle (CD 8-12) + CD12 Scan 5/16 + Had 3 follicles (2 under 15mm) = BFN(May 2014)
IUI #4 : 7mcg Letrozole (CD 3- 7) + 75 iu Bravelle (CD 8-12) + CD12 Scan 5/16 + Had 1 follicle + DH gave best sample so far = BFN(June 2014)
IVF#1 - ER Only Cycle Sept-Oct 2014, 17 eggs Retrieved, 14 mature, 10 fertilized, 6 made it to Blast & post PGS 5 were not viable due to chromosomal abnormalities
Not sure where we go from here...
We're parents to two very adorable, bratty, affectionate & goofy Bernese Mountain Dog pups who would very much like a 2 legged baby brother or sister of their own!
I'm currently a patient at POMA fertility in Kirkland. We ended up choosing this clinic ultimately because of the reduced cost (we are self-pay) and how quickly they could get us in. Some of the other clinics have a wait list to even see an IVF doctor. POMA is fairly new so you don't feel like just another number. We are just starting our first IVF cycle this month so I don't have much more to say but I can say that we are very optimistic.
- Shauna
Our Story:
Me: 36, DH 38
2005: Blighted Ovum
2010: Surprise pregnancy (son born 2011)
9/2013: Husband dx = poor morphology, low motility. My dx = normal, tubes clear
10/2014: After 2 years of actively trying moved on to IVF. ER=16 (12 fertilized).
11/2014: Transferred 1 4AA blastocyst (3 blasts made it to the freezer) = BFP
We went to SRM in Seattle after being recommended by my OB. Dr. Letterie was our main RE, but Dr. Kennedy did our egg retrieval and Dr. Dudley did our embryo transfer. I was very happy with all of them and felt they were very invested in us.
We had 3 unsuccessful IUIs before moving onto IVF. If I had to do it over again, I would skip the IUIs altogether as I felt they were a waste of time - and at 39, I don't have a lot of time! However, we weren't sure we wanted to do IVF when we started all the fertility treatments, so I guess we needed this progression slowly.
Our first round of IVF was successful and I'm 10w5d along! We also did the Attain Program which was $22k (not including meds), which were probably another $4k. I would absolutely recommend doing a finance program like Attain because it put my mind at ease and I didn't feel like I only had one shot at this. I really assumed it would take us a couple rounds, so I still can't believe I'm pregnant!
Good luck, ladies! I know how difficult and stressful this process is, but know that you can be successful and that money is only money...
DH : 36, has Chronic Kidney Disease, on dialysis & is waiting on the transplant list (average wait for B+ is 5 years)
Me: 36, Hypothyroidism, PCOS, BMI 32, need to be done with "child bearing" ASAP so that I can be a Kidney donor (was fun realizing we didn't as much time as we thought :-/ )
We're TTC#1
IUI #1 : 5mcg Letrozole (CD 3-7) + Ovidrel Trigger + Had the one follicle = BFN (March 2014)
IUI #2 : 5mcg Letrozole (CD 3-7) + 150 iu Bravelle on CD9 (after much begging!) + Had the one follicle = BFN (April 2014)
7th May 2014 - changed REs, this one seems to care (we think....)
IUI #3 : 7mcg Letrozole (CD 3- 7) + 75 iu Bravelle (CD 8-12) + CD12 Scan 5/16 + Had 3 follicles (2 under 15mm) = BFN(May 2014)
IUI #4 : 7mcg Letrozole (CD 3- 7) + 75 iu Bravelle (CD 8-12) + CD12 Scan 5/16 + Had 1 follicle + DH gave best sample so far = BFN(June 2014)
IVF#1 - ER Only Cycle Sept-Oct 2014, 17 eggs Retrieved, 14 mature, 10 fertilized, 6 made it to Blast & post PGS 5 were not viable due to chromosomal abnormalities
Not sure where we go from here...
We're parents to two very adorable, bratty, affectionate & goofy Bernese Mountain Dog pups who would very much like a 2 legged baby brother or sister of their own!