Trouble TTC

GTKY (N3TR, NSFW)

theholmanherdtheholmanherd member
edited August 2014 in Trouble TTC
How often do you have sex with your SO?
Love 2010 | Marriage 2011 | TTC #1 since 2012
PCOS | Anovulatory | Metformin + Letrozole

GTKY (N3TR, NSFW) 72 votes

Every day
0% 0 votes
Every other day
4% 3 votes
ED or EOD only during fertile window, other times it's not often
18% 13 votes
3-4 times a week
15% 11 votes
Twice a week
20% 15 votes
Once a week
15% 11 votes
Less than 4 times a month (or only during FW)
11% 8 votes
Only once a month (such as those TTC via IUI, IVF, etc)
6% 5 votes
SS (please explain) or I just want to see the results
8% 6 votes
I'm becoming a parent on my own/no SO
0% 0 votes

Re: GTKY (N3TR, NSFW)

  • I marked every other day, but it is really more like 5-6 times per week (more than EOD but less than ED).  It was difficult for us to schedule time for his SA! That REALLY messed with our fun!

    Me: 28  MH:35

    Married September 2012. TTC since September 2013

    June 2014 - Dx w/ significant PCOS and referred to RE.

    July/August 2014 - Testing complete: Testosterone & AMH very high, FSH slightly high, Vitamin D low, tubes and lining all lovely. DH SA: A+

    Cycle 1 (Nov 2014): 2.5 mg Letrozole/Ovidrel/TI = BFN

    Cycle 2 (Dec 2014): 5 mg Letrozole/Ovidrel/TI - BFN

    Cycle 3 (Jan 2015): 5mg Letrozole/Ovidrel/TI - BFN

    WTF consult scheduled for 1/29

  • Loading the player...
  • Sadly we have slowed down A LOT in the last few months since I literally get to see him only about 20 min 4 days a week it sucks(with our work schedule). Plus being told to DTD ED or EOD really killed the mood. This cycle though since we are working with a trigger we are doing it way more (which seems silly) but the pressure is off a lot more and is making it way more fun =) 
    *** Siggy Warning ***
    Me:30 DH:33
    TTC since 10/12 
    HSG- Tubes Clear slight scarring on UTE (unexplained)
    DH SA- Normal
    10/12-6/13 Natural 
    Pcos Dx 7/13 Metformin 500mg x2 daily
    4/14 Provera  10days  then Clomid 50mg CD5-9 (BFN)
    5/14 Provera 10days then Clomid 50mg CD5-9  (BFN)
    6/14 (no provera yay!) Clomid 50mg CD5-9  (BFN)
    7/14 Natural Cycle Moving on to RE appt not til 7/31 (BFN)  
    8/14 Plan of action! Moved up to 1500mg Metformin, Femara 3-7 (Trigger canceled due to not big enough follies and holiday weekend) (BFN)
    9/14 7.5mg Femara CD3-7 +ovidrel  (BFN)
    10/14 5mg Femara(3-7) Follistim 75 (7-9) +Ovidrel +TI (last treatment cycle this year Breaking til after Holidays) (BFP! Beta #1 114, Beta #2 364)
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ALL ARE WELCOME! ~~~~~~~~~


    image




    BabyFetus Ticker
  • I picked twice a week, but we bounce between 2-4 times a week depending on what's going on in our lives. The few weeks of just bcp between ivf/FET cycles are always the most active- it's nice having a little break.
    **********SIGGY/TICKER WARNING**********

    ALL WELCOME!

    TTC since 04/12
    Me- 26 PCOS
    DH- 28 MFI
    10/13 IUI #1 (1 follie)- BFP!
    11/13 M/C @9 wk due to tetraploidy, one little boy in heaven
    01/14 IUI#2 (1 follie) BFN
    02/14 IUI #3 (3 follies) BFN
    03/14 IUI #4 (2 follies) BFN
    05/14 IVF/ICSI #1 CXL
    07/14 IVF/ICSI #1.2 6R, 6M, 5F, 2T, 2 frosties!
    Transferred 2-5dt  CP
    09/14 FET #1 BFP! Beta #1 52 Beta #2 152!
    10/20/14- It's TWINS!

    1/15- TEAM PURPLE!
    image
    BabyFruit Ticker
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • Sadly IF has taken a toll on our sex life, in the last two months we only have one week of the month seems like we can do it without reservations. Begining of cycle is my period, then we are okay to have fun for a few days then we have to wait for TI to prep for IUI then after iui im pushing progesterone pills in my va-jay-jay for the next two weeks. Once i get the BFN i stop progesterone pills and wait for AF. Its only been two months of this but seems like we are doing it less and less. Well see what my next RE appointment will reveal.

    Me (29), DH (38)

    Oct 2009   - Married
    Aug 2011   - Started TTC
    Jan 2012   - OB Referred to RE
    Feb 2012   - RE Visit #1
    Apr 2012   - HSG (Normal), PCOS - DH SA (low count and low motility)  
    June 2012   - Provera, Clomid, TI - BFN
    July 2012   - IUI #1, Provera, Clomid 50mg, Trigger Injection - BFN
    Aug 12 - Feb 14 - Break
    Feb 2014   - New OB referred to new RE
    Mar 2014   - New RE visit #1
    Apr 2014    - TSH  level elevated, need to retest.
    May 2014   - TSH retested, higher than 1st test. Start on Synthroid. DH SA (Normal)
    June 2014   - Start on DHEA, CO-Q10, New brand of Prenatals
    July 2014   - Cycle came on its own, b/w on CD2, TSH (normal), Femara CD3-CD7, CD14 - u/s + Ovidrel + baby aspirin regimen. IUI #1 B2B on CD15/16 - BFN

    August 2014 - u/s on CD3 normal, Femara CD3-CD7, u/s CD12, Ovidrel on CD13. IUI #2 B2B on CD 14/CD15 - BFN.

    September  2014 - u/s on CD3 normal, Femara CD3-CD7, u/s scheduled for CD12

    *** September 3T Siggy Challenge: Favorite Fall Shows ***

    image
  • @rainbowbridge14‌ thank you for the heads up, i just feel yucky and weird about it. In my mind i think that some how the progesterone might get into DH and hell start experiencing my symptoms, crazy thought I know but I can't help it, lol. It would be nice if his boobs got sore and he would understand me when I say don't touch because they hurt. :) Maybe I will try next month.

    Me (29), DH (38)

    Oct 2009   - Married
    Aug 2011   - Started TTC
    Jan 2012   - OB Referred to RE
    Feb 2012   - RE Visit #1
    Apr 2012   - HSG (Normal), PCOS - DH SA (low count and low motility)  
    June 2012   - Provera, Clomid, TI - BFN
    July 2012   - IUI #1, Provera, Clomid 50mg, Trigger Injection - BFN
    Aug 12 - Feb 14 - Break
    Feb 2014   - New OB referred to new RE
    Mar 2014   - New RE visit #1
    Apr 2014    - TSH  level elevated, need to retest.
    May 2014   - TSH retested, higher than 1st test. Start on Synthroid. DH SA (Normal)
    June 2014   - Start on DHEA, CO-Q10, New brand of Prenatals
    July 2014   - Cycle came on its own, b/w on CD2, TSH (normal), Femara CD3-CD7, CD14 - u/s + Ovidrel + baby aspirin regimen. IUI #1 B2B on CD15/16 - BFN

    August 2014 - u/s on CD3 normal, Femara CD3-CD7, u/s CD12, Ovidrel on CD13. IUI #2 B2B on CD 14/CD15 - BFN.

    September  2014 - u/s on CD3 normal, Femara CD3-CD7, u/s scheduled for CD12

    *** September 3T Siggy Challenge: Favorite Fall Shows ***

    image
  • What a great community this is! Where else can you ask a large group of women who are TTC and (and struggling with it or not...) to admit how often they get busy? And where else can you confidently talk about your satisfaction, or lack of satisfaction, with your own response to that question?

    My DH recently said "we should try to do it every day for a cycle or two and see what happens." Neither of us want it that often. We're 2-3/week people (and generally on the weekends, not during the busy work week) during the three weeks where AF isn't visiting. I worry that trying every day will take the fun out of it and cause dissatisfaction.

    ***** All Welcome *****
    ***** Siggy Warning *****

    TTC since Dec, 2012. Me: 33; DH: 34

    - Ultrasound to look at "lay of the land": normal
    - Blood work: normal
    - OPKs and ultrasound to confirm ovulation: Yes
    - SA for DH: Normal (a couple numbers on the low side of normal)
    - HSG: Normal
    - Doing several cycles of Letrozole, TI and progesterone
        - Aug cycle of Letrozole, TI and progesterone came back with a BFP-MC at 7 weeks.
    - Benched until Jan
    - Starting Letrozole, TI, Progesteron and HCG Trigger in Feb cycle

     

  • We did the everyday for a cycle...and it didn't work and we hated it lol Lately we've actually been having more, which wasn't always the case.  There were many cycles of just when I was ovulating! 
    Me (29), DH (32)
    Aug 2011  - Married
    Jan 2013   - Started TTC
    Jan 2014   - OB started some testing 
                         - HSG - Normal
                         - Ultrasound - Normal
                         - SA - Normal, but tested positive for Ureaplasma
                         - Both of us on antibiotics to treat ureaplasma
                         - Blood work - progesterone: 15.9, TSH: 0.89, FT4: 1.2, Prolactin: 33.4 
    Feb 2014   - Endometrial Biopsy - Normal
    Mar 2014   - Prolactin: 22.9, referred to RE
    Apr 2014   - First RE appointment, put on medication for high prolactin levels 
                      - Clomid (50 mg) 1 follicle, Trigger shot - BFN
                      - Second SA - All Normal, borderline morph (5%) 
    May 2014   - Clomid (100mg) 2 follicles, Trigger shot - BFN
                      - blood work: Estradiol: 32.7, FSH: 5.3, Prolactin: 14.1
    June 2014  - IUI #1, Clomid (150 mg), 3 follicles, Trigger shot - BFN 
    July 2014   - IUI #2, Clomid (150 mg), 4 follicles, Trigger shot - BFN
    Aug 2014   - IUI #3, Femara 2.5, 3 follicles, Trigger shot (first time done by DH!!) - BFN
                      - Hysteroscopy - Normal
    Sept 2014 - IUI #4 Femara 2.5, 1 follicle, possibility of another one, Trigger shot - BFN
                       -Progesterone test 4 DPIUI - 7.8...started crinone.
    Oct 2014 - IUI #5 Follistim 150 3 possibly 4 follicles - Trigger Shot - BFN
    Oct/Nov 2014 - Follistim 150 with TI & Trigger shot - ???

    **October Siggy Challenge**

    I don't even know what he is supposed to be!
    image


    **EVERYONE WELCOME!! :)**

  • @BlueJoan, I'm sorry :( We have had slumps like that. It really takes a toll. I hope you can get past this quickly. BIG HUGS to you.
    Love 2010 | Marriage 2011 | TTC #1 since 2012
    PCOS | Anovulatory | Metformin + Letrozole
  • @BlueJoan - I'm sorry the mood just isn't there. Hang in there!!

    Me: 28  MH:35

    Married September 2012. TTC since September 2013

    June 2014 - Dx w/ significant PCOS and referred to RE.

    July/August 2014 - Testing complete: Testosterone & AMH very high, FSH slightly high, Vitamin D low, tubes and lining all lovely. DH SA: A+

    Cycle 1 (Nov 2014): 2.5 mg Letrozole/Ovidrel/TI = BFN

    Cycle 2 (Dec 2014): 5 mg Letrozole/Ovidrel/TI - BFN

    Cycle 3 (Jan 2015): 5mg Letrozole/Ovidrel/TI - BFN

    WTF consult scheduled for 1/29

  • We're usually 2-3 times a weekers but the past couple of months have taken a toll. Sometimes it's only once a week. Every other day during O time!


    TTC #1

    Me: AMA, DH: MFI

    Official DX - MFI due to Hemochromatosis

    IVF #1 Nov. 2014 - ER 11/10 (10R 6M 6F) - ET 11/13 

    3DT of 3 embies - no frosties - CP = BFFN!!!!

    ****All Welcome****

    imageimage



  • I am adding myself as a debbie downer as well....

    Honestly, DH and I hardly (no pun intended) ever "get busy". This is the first time I am talking about this outside of my closest friend. I don't know what the problem is but it seems like the longer we are married, the less active we become. We will BD during the FW but outside of that, its a big fat no. It sucks to say the least. I am definitely the "guy" in the relationship because I'd prefer 3-4x a week.

    My two cents...
    Me: 31 PCOS
    DH: 30 SA-Low motility
    Married: July 27, 2007   NTNP: 2008-2013   Actively TTC: Since October 2013
    IUI #1: 10mg letrozole (3-7), trigger shot (5/31/14), procedure 6/2/2014 SA - 5mill post-wash  BFN

    IUI #2: 10mg letrozole (3-7), trigger shot (7/1/14), procedure 7/2/2014 SA - 23 mill post-wash BFN
    IUI #3: 10mg letrozole (5-9), trigger shot (7/30/14), procedure 8/1/14 SA - 28 mill post-wash BFMFN
    3T August Siggy Challenge: Worst Day Than Yours

    funny gifs
  • @BlueJoan Thank you! I would say that I wish it was just a slump, but it's not. I am just being extremely patient and hoping at some point he will decide to talk about it. It's okay though, I love him regardless!
    Me: 31 PCOS
    DH: 30 SA-Low motility
    Married: July 27, 2007   NTNP: 2008-2013   Actively TTC: Since October 2013
    IUI #1: 10mg letrozole (3-7), trigger shot (5/31/14), procedure 6/2/2014 SA - 5mill post-wash  BFN

    IUI #2: 10mg letrozole (3-7), trigger shot (7/1/14), procedure 7/2/2014 SA - 23 mill post-wash BFN
    IUI #3: 10mg letrozole (5-9), trigger shot (7/30/14), procedure 8/1/14 SA - 28 mill post-wash BFMFN
    3T August Siggy Challenge: Worst Day Than Yours

    funny gifs
  • drstef said:
    @BlueJoan Thank you! I would say that I wish it was just a slump, but it's not. I am just being extremely patient and hoping at some point he will decide to talk about it. It's okay though, I love him regardless!

    Bring it up to him. Guys are clueless and aren't usually big talkers when it comes to this stuff. He needs you to tell him directly. Just put it all out there (in a nice way). I would start with "I would love to have sex more often. Is there something I can do to make you more comfortable or in the mood?" And just see what he says. Don't place any blame anywhere and don't get upset, just talk calmly.
    Love 2010 | Marriage 2011 | TTC #1 since 2012
    PCOS | Anovulatory | Metformin + Letrozole
  • What I meant in the previous post was I have brought it up to him before and he shuts down and doesn't want to talk about it. So I am taking the new approach and am just letting it be for the time being. It has been a stressful past 5 months as most of you can understand.

    @theholmanherd Thank you for that suggestion!
    Me: 31 PCOS
    DH: 30 SA-Low motility
    Married: July 27, 2007   NTNP: 2008-2013   Actively TTC: Since October 2013
    IUI #1: 10mg letrozole (3-7), trigger shot (5/31/14), procedure 6/2/2014 SA - 5mill post-wash  BFN

    IUI #2: 10mg letrozole (3-7), trigger shot (7/1/14), procedure 7/2/2014 SA - 23 mill post-wash BFN
    IUI #3: 10mg letrozole (5-9), trigger shot (7/30/14), procedure 8/1/14 SA - 28 mill post-wash BFMFN
    3T August Siggy Challenge: Worst Day Than Yours

    funny gifs
  • it depends ... some months we BD a lot. Other months, not so much. Usually the lack of it is due to my shift work or we just are busy with other things that by the end of the day we're tired and just want to sleep lol.
    *** If you want to know where I (and soo many others) have gone, click here ***
  • I'm glad no one voted every day. I would not have believed them!
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • Well, I didn't have the guts to share until reading everyone else's responses, so thank you all for having courage. :)

    We started out TTC with a couple months of every day and 2x/day, all month, no joke. (Newlyweds...that's the only way I can explain this superhero feat.)

    We settled into a great pattern of every 2-3 days for a few years, then the Crohn's got really bad and we pretty much went to 1-2x/month if that. Plus living with my parents a couple years kept it there.

    Moving to our own place, we got back into the comfortable swing of things, but then we did it only once in the 7 weeks on BC leading up to surgery. I think it was like, BC pills were a break from TTC, and we just forgot about sex at the same time? It was weird, we had an awesome, close summer together but just without sex! I have no idea why that happened.

    Now, we tried once almost 3 weeks after surgery and although it was SUPER slow/gentle, it caused me lots of pain for a couple days and I bled red for over a day. The nurse/RE said that is totally normal and nothing to worry about and perfectly safe, but the nurse also seemed surprised that I was doing it since she said "it will be very, very tender." Um, hello, we're on CD11 of a treatment cycle, what else should we be doing?

    So I am just really afraid to do that again, but we're going to try. I hate painful sex. It just feels so wrong to have sex when it hurts. Screw IF!! We're trying tonight because tomorrow is the vag cam and I'll be sore after that for sure. But it's like an anxiety in my mind. I think especially after dealing with Crohn's, abdominal pain makes me afraid that I'm damaging my body. Sigh. Wish me luck. :)
    January 3T Siggy Challenge - New Year's Resolutions
    image
    imageimage

    Me (29), DH (30) TTC actively 54 55+ cycles | All BFNs
    MFI (low everything) | Endo Stage 1 & Stenotic Cervix (treated) | PCO
    Married - July 2008 | Started TTC - Jan 2009RE Visit #1 - Mar 2014 
    IUI #1 ICI #1 - June | IUI #1.1 Laparoscopy - Aug
    IUIs #1.2, 2, 3 - Sept, Oct, Nov (Letrozole) - BFNs 
    IUI #4 - Dec (Bravelle) | IUI #5 - Dec/Jan (Bravelle) - 5 follies + TI - BFNs
    IUI #5.1 - Jan (Bravelle) Cancelled 
    Planning to start IVF in March!
    ***All Welcome***
  • When we first started trying we went crazy for the first few months.  Then when things weren't working I started reading up and found a bunch of conflicting information that basically said all our favorite ways to HIO were not the right ways (gravity, saliva...you get the picture).  So we started having this uninspired sex that sucked all the interest out of the act for a long time.  I also didn't want him to feel performance anxiety so for a long time I wouldn't tell him it was time, I'd just suddenly attack him.  Which was fine some nights, but other times if he'd had a bad day or was tired or something I'd just let it go and figured we could try again next month.  After that philosophy proved detrimental I finally explained how conception works for him and for a year or so we only had sex during my FW and then nothing for the rest of the month because it really was stressful...we'd do it every single day.  
    We have taken a couple of breaks over the course of the four years and during those breaks everything went back to normal.  We were finally having fun again.  Now that we're in treatment I thought it would put a cramp in our BD style again, but since we can do whatever we want to each other any old time except for the 2 or 3 days before my IUI we have actually been totally relaxed.

    -----------------------------------SIGGY WARNING-------------------------------------


    Me: 31| DH: 36
    TTC #1 Since 07/2010
    DX: Unexplained Infertility
    TX: 
    IUI #1 on 7/3/14 100 mg Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI (44 million sperm, 1 dominant follie) = BFN
    IUI #2: on 7/28/14 100 mg Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI (23 million sperm, 2 dominant follies) = BFN

    IUI #3 on 8/22/2014 100 mg Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI (53 million sperm, 2 dominant follies)= BFP MMC @ 7weeks


  • @BunnyBerry‌, painful sex is the worst. On the bright side, the nurse said it was normal. Good luck trying again. (((HUGS)))
    Love 2010 | Marriage 2011 | TTC #1 since 2012
    PCOS | Anovulatory | Metformin + Letrozole
  • Here's a question...has anyone else's husband gotten frustrated with their lack of interest in BD except for the FW?  

    DH once got really upset with me and said he felt like I saw him as a "sperm bank" during my FW but didn't care at all the rest of the month.  I mean, obviously that's not how I think of him, but I did realize it's not fair to him that I only seem to want it when it might be...productive.  It forced me to take a closer look at how I was treating him through this whole ordeal and I try a lot harder to make time for him during the other weeks of the month.

    @alaskadee23 - I hear you.  There have definitely been times when I was like "if I don't try there's no way I can get pregnant and then I can just relax and not pay such close attention to my cycles."

    -----------------------------------SIGGY WARNING-------------------------------------


    Me: 31| DH: 36
    TTC #1 Since 07/2010
    DX: Unexplained Infertility
    TX: 
    IUI #1 on 7/3/14 100 mg Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI (44 million sperm, 1 dominant follie) = BFN
    IUI #2: on 7/28/14 100 mg Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI (23 million sperm, 2 dominant follies) = BFN

    IUI #3 on 8/22/2014 100 mg Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI (53 million sperm, 2 dominant follies)= BFP MMC @ 7weeks


  • BlueJoan said:
    kmdecoux - My DH doesn't care as long as he's getting some.  He does feel like I put too much pressure on myself so that kinda kills the moods.  He also had the habit of saying we were making a baby every time we has sex last summer so we had to have a talk about that.  That really psyched me out.  We have a less than 4% chance on our own and it was seriously depressing.  

    We usually have timing issues as well.  He wants sex before his nightly shower so that means before 8pm and I like sex after I've really relaxed from the day usually after 8.  
    This is me. I like sex later in the evening (AFTER we've showered because he works in construction and needs to shower before I will go near him LOL), but he couldn't care less what time of day it is. He's more likely to be turned down during the day. But if I turn him down because of that, I will usually try to initiate it later that night. Since I'm mostly anovulatory, we just have sex whenever we feel like. We aren't likely to get pregnant anyway, so I just limit myself to one test every month or every other month. It's easier said than done, but I manage to keep myself pretty busy (plus, I know I haven't been trying as long as some of you...only 2 years in November).
    Love 2010 | Marriage 2011 | TTC #1 since 2012
    PCOS | Anovulatory | Metformin + Letrozole
  • Sex??? What is that???

    Seriously throughout this very long IVF process we have probably only had sex maybe 3 times since May. I had to click SS because I didn't see a response for never. When I'm hopped up on all these meds I just don't feel like it. My husband is so understanding and I know we will get back to normal when I'm not on all kinds of meds making me feel like shit.
    Fucking bump!!!!
  • Sex??? What is that??? Seriously throughout this very long IVF process we have probably only had sex maybe 3 times since May. I had to click SS because I didn't see a response for never. When I'm hopped up on all these meds I just don't feel like it. My husband is so understanding and I know we will get back to normal when I'm not on all kinds of meds making me feel like shit.
    Well, that averages out to once a month :) I understand what you mean. One of my close friends only has sex maybe once a month also. You're not alone.
    Love 2010 | Marriage 2011 | TTC #1 since 2012
    PCOS | Anovulatory | Metformin + Letrozole


  • Sex??? What is that???

    Seriously throughout this very long IVF process we have probably only had sex maybe 3 times since May. I had to click SS because I didn't see a response for never. When I'm hopped up on all these meds I just don't feel like it. My husband is so understanding and I know we will get back to normal when I'm not on all kinds of meds making me feel like shit.

    Well, that averages out to once a month :) I understand what you mean. One of my close friends only has sex maybe once a month also. You're not alone.



    True but those 3 times was in 1 week. :-) I had a 1 week window in between ER and before I started meds for my FET the first of July. Last year when I had my 3rd mc we had a 3 month dry spell because of pelvic rest with my pregnancy, then more pelvic rest with a D&c, then more waiting for an HSG. Were getting really good at not having sex.
    Fucking bump!!!!
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