In need of some constructive advice ..

peachypie88 · August 2014

Hi guys I'm aware I've joined a group for excited mummy's to be, however I'm in a hard place right now. I'm a mum of 2 and just found out I'm 4 weeks pregnant. I'm a student nurse in my 1st year and I'm torn over what to do. Both children are now at school which eases my childcare worries, I will not give up my studies whatsoever and have resigned myself to thinking the only option is to end my pregnancy, part of me is devastated at the thought but I just don't know if I can do both. My family have their opinions but I really could do with advice from people that don't know me. Thanks x

peachypie88 · August 2014

Hi....
I am married still with my husband, not working so I can focus on my studies, husband also left work very recently to carry on his studies too. I have a good family who want me to focus on what I already have now but would support any decision I make. My 2 pregnancies were lovely surprises I didn't think I would have and yes I have access to the best health care. I'm terrified I will lose my dream career which I've worked so hard for if I carry on with the pregnancy (selfish I know) x

katie0919 · August 2014

I don't really think that posting this on a board of newly pregnant mothers that want and desired to be pregnant is the best idea. You might try to find some other weird internet forum for strangers to help you decide whether or not to keep your child.

Oh wait - that is only a decision that you and your husband can make. Sorry for your situation, but you came to the wrong place for advice.

EDIT: (IMHO) you came to the wrong place for advice

evakatharina · August 2014

I'm going to be starting nursing school next fall after I have my baby. With a good support system I think it is definitely possible to be a great mom and a great student. And even to work at the same time if you need to. Plenty people manage. This is a choice that only you and your husband can make.

peachypie88 · August 2014

The last thing i wanted was to offend anyone. i hoped for some advice /reassurance that i could have both but i guess i did come to the wrong place katie. Im not the first person in the world to have these thoughts and i wont ever be the last. Again im sorry for any offence i may have caused and thank you to those who replied with so advice. Im scared and shocked but human too. Not sure how to delete this discussion and deactivate as a member but i those who are offended i will not post ever again. sorry.

katie0919 · August 2014

peachypie88 - Not sure why you're getting so defensive due to my comment - you're way overreacting. I never suggested that you meant to offend, I think I'm just confused as to why you chose to discuss this here. This is not exactly the best place to come for advice regarding whether or not you can handle, financially, emotionally or logistically, a third child. We don't know you or your situation. You also need to remember that a lot of mamas-to-be on here are pregnant for the first time, so they might not be able to empathize with your situation. I'm just not sure how you thought coming to an internet forum of pregnant mom-to-be strangers is the best place for advice on whether to keep your child.

Honestly, I suggest seeing a therapist to work through your thoughts and feelings. Only you and your husband can make a decision of such magnitude.

EDIT: words

itsmevkb · August 2014

I'm confused, why can't you continue on with school and have the baby? You have a husband and a family that can help you. My husband managed to get his PhD during the time we had three children and I got pregnant with our fourth. It can be done. Having children doesn't stop women from having careers. This isn't 1950.

twinkletoes3126 · August 2014

@peachypie88‌ I am so sorry that you have a difficult decision to make. No one can tell you whether or not to terminate a pregnancy, that decision has to be yours and your husbands. My suggestion would be to dig deep and think long and hard about this decision. If you terminated your pregnancy, would you regret it later? Only you can make this decision and I wish you the very best.

summerbld2 · August 2014

I had a friend get pregnant, deliver, get pregnant (surprise) with baby number 2 all while getting her doctorate in veterinarian school. It can be done!

deweycox · August 2014

I know how difficult it is to be in nursing school, have children, and work. I have been there, and it is tough. Only you know what you can handle. Instead of terminating the pregnancy, have you considered adoption? There are so many people out there that would love the gift of a child. There are options where you can see your child through open adoption. I don't think people regret giving there child a chance at a good life, but I hear that aborting the baby can cause much regret and heartache.

deweycox · August 2014

My comment was not meant to offend adoptive children by calling them "gifts". Of course babies are not commodities. I think you are reading too much into what I said. Geez, I was trying to prevent an abortion. Surely you can appreciate that.

TJPam · August 2014

@peachypie88‌ I am not in your position but it looks like a lot of girls here have and everything worked out. It sounds like you have a great support system so you could get through this.

If you do decide to terminate, may I suggest you and your husband use contraception until you are "ready".

Good luck in whatever you decide.

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