Midwife rant

daniileigh8 · August 2014

So i had my first ever appointment with a woman who was leaving (this was fine) she told me i'd meet my new m-w at my 16w appointment.. Had my appointment yesterday, this lady who didn't even introduce herself came in and rushed through the appointment then at the end said it'll probably be your new midwife at your next appointment, and didn't ask me if o had any concerns or questions.. Feeling let down by midwives to be honest!

jmcgra06 · August 2014

That's a tough one. From a pregnant-lady-perspective, I would definitely be disappointed. It's exciting to meet your provider and start developing that relationship. As a provider, though, I wonder if there is more to the story. Maybe the first midwife left their group without a lot of notice? My contract demands 60 days notice - for some jobs (and I assume midwives would be in this category), 2 weeks is not enough notice. Maybe someone called out that day and your second provider was taking on double schedules? At one point, one of my coworkers was fighting cancer and we had to combine schedules at a moment's notice which was difficult to do seemlessly. I'm sure there were parents who felt rushed, but in the interest of his privacy, we couldn't really get into it.

So, I would give it one more try. Maybe start your next appointment with a generic comment about being "really excited to take some time to have my questions answered," and see where that goes. If things aren't great after that, maybe consider other options. Good luck!

daniileigh8 · August 2014

Yeah i understand that but this girst midwife was retiring and had given in the right notice etc..

i just feel abit let down that my appointment was rushed and i wasnt asked if i had any worries or questions when this is the most exiting time of my life and it felt it was looked at as a job more than a sharing experience.. X

mommie2bof6 · August 2014

I had issues with the midwife I was stuck with. It was my 4th pregnancy and like 5 of the midwives left the group. So I was stuck with an impatient air head. She was seemed stoned and in lala land. Well I was in full labor at hosp she said she'd give me pain meds and break my water as I was having back labor and it felt like he was being delivered through my back lol. I was on hands an knees as a doctor barges in. Says are you watching her and baby heartbeat. She said no I'm delaling with back labor patient. He said I noticed from hall said something is wrong that baby has to be out now. She was crazily walking around room like she had no clue what to do. Thank god he took over. She tried stepping in once I was on table told me to push he goes no no an was yelling at her. He said I need to see. So he said push once and not hard I pushed. I heard the heart eate slow he then literally stuck his hand in me lol. My sons cord was wrapped so tight around his neck he was being strangled with every push so he cut cord after easying his head out. Then told me to push. So he was my sons and my savor and has been my doct since. I will never see another midwife in this area. My pregnancy are just not what they can handle I guess. Find a doct you luv and ull know it rigjt away. You just get that feeling.

Irishcurls · August 2014

How many MWs are in the practice? Mine has a bunch, and every time I make an appointment, I can make it with whomever I want. I choose the same one, because I like her, but I'll branch out eventually because I want to meet them all.

You definitely deserve to feel a connection, or at the very least, not rushed but you might need to be the proactive one. My practice has a website with little bios and pictures of each of them (while no where near as good as meeting face to face, it's something.) Do a little research, call them back and switch your appointment? Or ask to have another appointment with her soon just to exchange information/ask questions/get to know her.

CogDis · August 2014

Can you switch to a different practise? My first midwife was obviously just out of school and was like a drill Sargent nurse. I went with midwifery because of the dominant philosophy behind it (that being that the pregnant woman is in control and that her body is knowledgable). The drill Sargent obviously wasn't comfortable enough in her skills to allow for that type of relationship. My next midwife, at a different practise, was amazing! She's exactly like one would expect of a midwife if one had read this history of the profession and kept up with it (in my country).

Good luck! I'd be upset by that as well!

Beth.1212 · August 2014

That appointment sounds awful. I wouldn't go to another appointment with that midwife. I'm sorry that you had that experience.

That being said, I don't think that you can judge all midwives by that one provider. If you want to give another midwife a chance, your experience could be VERY different. That midwife sounds totally different from pretty much every midwife I've ever worked with.

If you're just turned off of midwives right now, there are a lot of great OBs out there. (I do tend to think you need to be a little more careful with OBs, making sure that the OB isn't intervention / c-section happy, won't try to induce at 40 weeks + 1 day, etc.) Make sure that you do your due diligence and find a provider that you're comfortable with and who you feel will give you good care, regardless of whether it's an OB or a midwife. Good luck!

HerHighness · August 2014

I wouldn't discount all midwives based on your experience. There are douchecanoes in every profession.

I go to an OB so your mileage may vary but 16 week appts are usually pretty quick.

At this point in pregnancy ive seen dr so many times that its usually a fast appt. Pee, weight, blood pressure, he looked at my ultrasound results and told me SCH was gone, asked me if i felt good or needed anything/had questions and was out the door. Half of that was done by the nurse. I think i saw him 3 minutes total but didnt feel my care was compromised. If i had questions or had issues he would have stayed with me til i felt better. He always has.
Did you ask the questions you wanted to

sincerelyapril · August 2014

I've been with my midwife practice since about 8 weeks, and after our initial consultations, my one-on-ones with her are very brief. We have 1 hour group prenatal visits, and that's really where I think we receive most of our "care". The one-on-one visits are just for specific questions I have, to look over my blood pressure/weight, and check out the belly. They're really fast, 10 minutes tops.

deux · August 2014

Unfortunately the midwifery model doesn't always transfer well into a hospital setting. A lot of hospital midwives function almost exactly like doctors - big, impersonal practices, short visits, highly managed and medicated labors. My mom is an IBCLC in a hospital and just spoke to a midwife there who had *never* attended an in medicated birth in her 15 years of practice. I think a lot of women choose a hospital based midwife to get the best of both worlds - the personable, natural midwifery care model within the controlled hospital environment - and it's just not always the case. Of course, there are good ones and bad ones like anything else.

Home birth or birth center midwives are much more likely to give you the kind of care midwives are known for. I get hour long appointments alternating between two midwives, it's awesome. I wish the midwifery model could stay more intact in a hospital setting, since there's such a demand for it.

daniileigh8 · August 2014

Thanks guys im just hoping to meet my new midwife at my next appointment im not blowing midwives out yet as ny first midwife was so lovely x

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