DS wants to be a baby...

Emerald27 · August 2014

I remember some mention of other STMs' kids doing this a while back in a toddler thread, but I can't find it so I'm making a new one. :P

DS (3yo in Oct) says he is a baby. He fake cries ("waah waah, I'm a baby, waah"), wants to be held like a baby, and has changed his mind completely about potty training. He wants to wear diapers like a baby. Joy.

Tonight after his bath, DS rolled himself up in his towel and started to "waah" for mommy.

I'm assuming this is normal and probably because everyone asks me about the baby, and there's so much talk of baby. He LOVES the idea of being a big brother and a big helper, always asks to feel baby brother move, kisses my tummy, sticks his nose on my tummy and says "Hello, baby. This is your big brother. I love you, baby." So he's not upset about the baby, but every day for at least a little while, he wants to be one too.

This really bugs DH. He tells DS "but you're a big boy and a big brother. You can teach LO all about trains and diggers and trucks...etc." Sometimes it makes an impression and other times DS just says "I'm a baby, waah." Lol

So if your LO is doing the same thing, what, if anything, are you doing about it? Are you encouraging, discouraging, ignoring? I'm just not sure how I *should* be reacting to this behavior in the best way for DS.

TIA, and sorry for the novel!

ETA: Sometimes I respond with a snuggle and telling DS that he is my first baby, that he will always be my baby but is also my big boy. Not sure if that's a good approach or not...

Littledeer84 · August 2014

DD wants to be a baby too...she asks me to cradle her, feed her a bottle ( which is really her sippy), sometimes she crawls and will make squeaky baby noises. I don't know what the right way to react is, but I just treat it like pretend play and humor her. It probably happens once a day but she gets bored of it quick.

Justabean3 · August 2014

We bought a baby for him. Then let him take care of the baby and it was good for when I brought the real baby home... He could feed while I fed and so on

I think what he is doing is completely normal and you have to find a balance of ignoring, catering and explaining. It does pass.

samanthak2525 · August 2014

My son does this too, I just play along with him like it's a game. I don't see any harm in pretending..

Emerald27 · August 2014

Justabean3 said:
We bought a baby for him. Then let him take care of the baby and it was good for when I brought the real baby home... He could feed while I fed and so on

I think what he is doing is completely normal and you have to find a balance of ignoring, catering and explaining. It does pass.

I would kind of like to do this, but DH looks at me like I'm crazy for wanting to get DS a "doll." What baby did you get for your DS? Are there any more neutral/masculine babies out there? lol - I know it sounds a bit silly, but it would be important to my DH.

samanthak2525 · August 2014

My son has dolls they have boy babies at target but we use his stuffed animals and put diapers on them and he takes care of them,he has a back pack that he keeps diapers and wipes in and he loves playing that game.

Emerald27 · August 2014

samanthak2525 said:
My son has dolls they have boy babies at target but we use his stuffed animals and put diapers on them and he takes care of them,he has a back pack that he keeps diapers and wipes in and he loves playing that game.

Oooo. I could just turn a teddy bear into a baby with a diaper. Genius. =;

pnwlover12 · August 2014

DD wants to be a baby too. I always tell her she is a big girl, but will always be MY baby and she seems satisfied with that. Doesn't keep her from calling herself a baby though, lol. I don't have any good advice, I'm sorry. I just sort of roll with it

BreandMikewedding · August 2014

I've heard of people being really silly and over the top when their kids suddenly want to be "the baby" and it seems to be enough attention for them. I remember wanting a sister so bad when I was younger that I called my mom "sister" for months. It drove my dad crazy, but I eventually got over it.

Justabean3 · August 2014

We got him this one

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B004KS2T84/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1409195111&sr=8-1&pi=SY200_QL40

Most basic of boy "dolls". You could use anything like a bear or lamb or anything

My DH felt weird about it at first but then saw how mothering but still how very boy our son was and never said a word.

Emerald27 · August 2014

@Justabean3‌ I LOVE it! Am going to send it to DH and ask if we can get it for DS. If not, a bear it shall be.

Justabean3 · August 2014

He isn't very big either (12 inches total) so he would easily fit in a backpack and he is completely soft so it takes away a girls baby doll feel and more a stuffed toy.

HappyCianci · August 2014

Emerald27 said:

@Justabean3‌ I LOVE it! Am going to send it to DH and ask if we can get it for DS. If not, a bear it shall be.

They're a little pricier, but the HABA dolls are so, so sweet, and they have a few different little boy dolls: https://www.habausa.com/products/dolls-and-accessories-for-toddlers-1/haba-dolls.html We have "Lucas" for our son and love it.

To your original post, I think it's so common for big sibs to react this way, especially after the baby is born. If it were me, I would indulge him in his pretend play a little bit, and then redirect: "you're pretending to cry, is it because you want a snuggle? Say, 'I need some snuggles, mama!'" Then maybe comment on how well it works... "when you use your words, I know exactly how to help."

Personally, I'd avoid trying to tell him that he's a big boy now. For one thing, he's still pretty little! And for another, it throws big/little into sharp contrast, which could make the babyish behavior come out more. He's probably trying to negotiate what it means to be not quite little and not quite big, which is a lot to think about at 2.5. Stripping the labels away frees him up to be somewhere (maybe more comfortably) in the middle.

I'm sure all of us STMs are in for this come October, if we're not dealing with it already. It's going to be a crazy ride...

Emerald27 · August 2014

Thanks, all!! DH said I should buy the baby that @Justabean3‌ shared.

@HappyCianci‌ I'll try not to call him a big boy so much, but he does seem to like it most of the time. And he walks around singing that new Daniel Tiger song; "you can be a big helper in your family." I'm thinking this is one of those things that (for me) works best when I can find a balance. I'm not sure never calling him my "big boy" would work for us. Some of the moms I know don't say the word "no" ever. I say no every day, but when it seems to be every other word, I do try to achieve some sort of balance where I talk to him about how he's feeling or what he wants and see if we can find a solution that won't damage our house or harm the cat. :P

Justabean3 · August 2014

Hurray!!! I'm glad to help you out.

SCMomma · August 2014

My daughter is about the same age. She's been pretty playful in her "I'm a baby" acting though. She'll whimper and hold her hands up to be held all the while trying desperately not to smile or giggle. She'll crawl into the crib (ugh) and say she's going to sleep and then roll around like a maniac.

I sometimes call her a big girl, but I make it totally independent of the new baby. She's a big girl because she can help me with certain things or do things herself, NOT because a new, smaller baby is coming. I also still call her my baby sometimes. When we talk about the new kid, we don't say things like "you're the big girl now!" I don't want her to think she's being bumped from her role in the family, ready or not. I try to avoid any comparisons between them in that aspect.

I do think it's okay to explain things like the new baby needs diapers because he doesn't know how to use the potty yet. He needs help eating because he's not strong enough to hold a heavy bottle. He has to be carried a lot because he hasn't learned to walk yet. Explaining why certain things are the way they are instead of just saying "this is what we do with babies, and you're my baby, but not *that* kind of baby."

AppleGrapeMSTK · August 2014

DS only pretends to be a baby when I pull him out of the bath and he's all wrapped up in a towel. And really, he only says, "Mommy, I'm a baby" and wants to be held reclining and not upright. When he does that, I play along with him for a minute or so until we get him dressed, and then he loses interest.

HappyCianci · August 2014

Emerald27 said:

@HappyCianci‌ I'll try not to call him a big boy so much, but he does seem to like it most of the time. And he walks around singing that new Daniel Tiger song; "you can be a big helper in your family." I'm thinking this is one of those things that (for me) works best when I can find a balance. I'm not sure never calling him my "big boy" would work for us.

Yes, balance definitely wins out! I should have mentioned that I don't totally abstain from those labels myself, because it's a pleasure for the whole family to acknowledge our baby getting to be a big boy. If it's in a spirit of celebration, I'm all for it ("you can wash your hands all by yourself, you're getting so big!")

I imagine the behavioral hiccups are more likely to happen if it's used to admonish, subtly (as in, "you're a big boy, you don't need me to take your shoes off.")

Anyway, everything in moderation!

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