Feeling a little.. Left out I suppose

paigeed · August 2014

DH and I are still talking about kids but haven't decided to start trying yet. I'm okay with this because I really want him to be on the same page when we start this whole journey!

The thing I am facing though is that literally every single one of my friends is pregnant, having a kid in the next month or due in the next 9 months. I am SO excited for all of them! I guess I just feel like when my circles of friends get together with me now I'm the 5th wheel because I have nothing to contribute to the conversations. I feel like all they talk about now is pregnancy and babies, which I love, but I have no experiences to relate with.

We are not ready right now and are going to wait awhile for sure. I guess I'm just really feeling left in the dust. Is this happening with any of you? How are you coping?

And by every friend I mean all of mine and DH friends are all having kids soon or pregnant. We have no other couples left to hang out with, talk to or relate to anymore.

Monicagail1 · August 2014

I dealt with that as well, in my early/mid twenties. My DH is about 7 years older than me, and many of our "couple" friends were all older with kids. Then all my college friends started having kids too, and I got baby fever big time. But, we just weren't in the right place for kids yet. DH was in the middle of a master's program and mine was pretty much the only income, we didn't live where we wanted to raise kids, etc.

It really can be tough

My best advice is to power through, and know that you'll have kids when the time is right for you, and not your friends. Now I'm in a second wave, where we've had 2 kids and were unsure if we wanted a third. Then a bunch of FB friends and cousins started having babies and I got baby fever again, lol. So it's a never ending cycle,

paigeed · August 2014

I like talking about kiddos and learning about pregnancy, but I just can't keep talking about it all the time! It's driving me batty because I want to be in the same place as they are but I'm not. I don't want to ignore them or quit hanging out with them. I just don't know how to approach it.

We live in a super super small community so it's not like DH and I could just go out and meet new people. Idk.. Just felt a little awkward after last night I suppose.

Everyusernameistaken · August 2014

First if all, I totally understand where you are coming from! As for a "solution": I totally agree with pp about broadening your friendships. You say "all" your friends are currently expecting, maybe it's time to reconnect with some old friends who aren't? We've recently reconnected with a couple we drifted apart from and now they're some of our best friends. Just a thought! Good luck, I know it's hard feeling left out.

sandrabrooke · August 2014

I'm not sure if your group would be amicable to this, but sometimes I will ask a question like "so what things are you into at home/work/etc besides baby?"

Normally I get a response like "Baby is a lot of work but....xxxx" And then, before you know it, your talking about something non babyish!

dietrajade13 · August 2014

I know exactly how you feel. I have a group of friends who have decided to not get pregnant ever and don't want to hear about our plans or are pregnant or TTC. We plan to wait till the end of the year to buy a house and get our money straight. It's very frustrating! But like PP said just ask about other things or maybe you can reconnect with another group of friends.

amandamarie2 · August 2014

I've been in the same boat the past two years, first of my friends near my age to get married so they didn't get the marriage thing but then my friends who were married had kids right away and I couldn't relate to baby talk and felt left out, especially since we wanted kids but it just wasn't the right time yet. I would just try bringing up topics of conversation everyone could relate to (i.e. favourite vacation, what activities you did in high school, random stuff like that). It didn't change the conversation the entire evening, but at least it would give me something I could chime in on for a while. Most of my friends were pretty good about asking me questions about my life sometimes too which helped, even if baby was still the main topic.

KatieFNP1984 · August 2014

Been there. But think...when it's your turn all your friends will be jealous you have a newborn.

paigeed · August 2014

Or telling me exactly what to do and expect all the time... I mean I like some advice but I want to experience it myself too. I don't want them to all be hounding me about what is next and what I should be doing or expect. Idk mixed feelings I guess.

Feeling a little.. Left out I suppose

Re: Feeling a little.. Left out I suppose

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