Need suggestions for helping toddler to fall asleep on her own

skibunny59 · August 2014

Since DD was a baby I always held her and nursed her while she fell asleep for bedtime. Now that she's 2, I lay down next to her in her toddler bed and sing to her and hold her hand while she falls asleep. It's becoming a problem and I just can't stay in the room with her anymore. It takes her anywhere from 45 minutes to an hour and a half after reading books (lights out) to fall asleep and she has started trying to "play" with me while I'm in there with her. She also won't stay in her bed. It frustrates me to no end and I usually end up forcefully putting her in her bed and yelling at her. I feel like a terrible mother. Anyway, this has to change and I'm realizing that I really can't stay in her room anymore. I don't like the battle that bedtime has become.

I was thinking of staying with her for ten minutes or so and singing songs and rubbing her back and then leaving the room and coming back to check on her every couple of minutes or so. I know she won't be happy with this. Although I've never really been consistent with this, I have tried it before and even after just 2 minutes she always cries and comes out of the room looking for me. How do I keep her in her room? I'm also thinking if I should reward her with something if she stays in bed while mommy leaves the room. Any suggestions from you would be appreciated. I feel like a prisoner in her room now and I just can't go on like this anymore.

Emerald27 · August 2014

After we read our books and sing our songs and chat a bit, I tell DS that it is time for sleep, and I will lay with him and snuggle him if he is quiet and calm. If he's not quiet and calm, I will go to the big bed (our bed in our room next door). Most of the time he will be calm at that and go to sleep. If he's rowdy, I kiss him and tell him that if he needs me, he can call for me, but he needs to be quiet and calm for me to come lay with him.

Then he just plays with his blankets and stuffed animals and gets that last bit of energy out and either a) calls me in for snuggles when he's ready to sleep, or b) goes to sleep on his own. If he calls me in but continues to be rowdy, I tell him the same thing and go back to my bed.

Enlisting DH's help has been a great help to me, especially while pregnant. We wanted to be sure DS could go to bed easily for either of us before #2's arrival. Sometimes I think he falls asleep faster with daddy snuggles than mommy snuggles! DH is also more no-nonsense about quieting down and laying still at bedtime, so he accomplishes the task more quickly.

skibunny59 · August 2014

ClaryPax said:

We kept the door shut, and at that age he could not open the door. You can also do a gate at the door. We did try to get him back in bed to sleep, but did not make it a battle. He just had to be quiet, no throwing toys or jumping etc, and stay in his room. We were too lazy or wanted our adult time too much to be constantly going in there and putting him back in bed or to hold his hand until he falls asleep especially because he would play when I was there, so I felt I was keeping him awake.

Now did he cry when you weren't in the room or was he ok with it? I would like to put up a gate but DH doesn't want to because he feels it will make DD scared of being in her room. He doesn't want to make her feel "trapped" in there. She won't stay quietly in her room and comes out to get us the second we leave.

RobynB13 · August 2014

Have you tried maybe letting her have her own rocking chair? I know it's super random, but it really helped with our youngest. Our middle child and youngest both hated gates too.

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