Potty training hell. — The Bump
Toddlers: 24 Months+

Potty training hell.

OMG how long are we supposed to keep this up before we throw in the towel?  She's been in panties for like 5 weeks, and I am still freaking cleaning up pee from the floor and washing clothes every.single.day.  She won't poop in her pants, and will tell me (at home and when we're out) when she has to poop and will go on the potty.  75% of the time, she wakes up from naps and bedtime dry.  But she will not go to the potty (pee) of her own volition STILL.  If I tell her she has to go and try, it's screaming and crying "no, no!".  If I just keep asking her, she will keep telling me no she doesn't have to go, and then will eventually just pee in her pants.  If I don't ask her at all, and wait for her to say she has to go, the same thing happens.  She gets upset when she pees on herself, she keeps telling me she doesn't want to wear diapers, she wants to wear panties, she refuses to wear pull-ups because she says they bother her and begs to wear panties.  But seriously, after 5 freaking weeks she still will not voluntarily go to the potty?

We initially kept at it, thinking "she'll get it", but it's been sooooo long.  And I feel like since she's been in panties for over a month now, it's terrible to put her BACK in diapers, especially when she's pooping on the potty and because she's going to be 3 in November, so really, how long is it going to be before we are back to trying it again?

And advice from people who have had trouble potty training is much appreciated.  My first was easy to potty train, and I think often when things are easy for parents they think it's because they did things the "right way", and don't realize it has more to do with the child than the parenting.  We used the same method with my current potty-trainer as we did with my older DD, and it is NOT working this time around.  I just don't know what to do.  I don't want to put her back in diapers, but I'm losing it real fast......
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Re: Potty training hell.

  • You've been told multiple times, by numerous posters that your daughter wasn't exhibiting signs that she was ready.  You ignored them all, choosing only to follow the posters who told you to continue.  And here we are, with continued peeing in her pants and her still refusing to sit on the potty.  What did you think would happen?  How are your surprised that this is is still a problem? 

    Stop focusing on the age and focus on your daughter's mental health.  It's going to do her far more of a disservice to force her into something she's not ready for than it will for her to be in diapers at age 3.
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  • You've been told multiple times, by numerous posters that your daughter wasn't exhibiting signs that she was ready.  You ignored them all, choosing only to follow the posters who told you to continue.  And here we are, with continued peeing in her pants and her still refusing to sit on the potty.  What did you think would happen?  How are your surprised that this is is still a problem? 

    Stop focusing on the age and focus on your daughter's mental health.  It's going to do her far more of a disservice to force her into something she's not ready for than it will for her to be in diapers at age 3.
    So much this.  I would have given up ages ago.  In your first thread you were at 1.5 weeks and I thought it was time to stop then.  

    I think it would be a huge help to your DD if you stopped stressing about this.  She might surprise you and train easily in another month or so without the pressure from you.
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  • Five weeks seems like a long time!  Did you start based on her age or did your child start? 

    I understand your pressure with the potty training.  My family and in-laws stressed the potty training at 2 years old issue too.  They even made ridiculous comments at times and asked when I was planning to start potty training.  At times they would even say "you know you were potty trained at 2 1/2 yrs old". There were a few times I needed to have the "you raised your child, now please let me raise mine and when I need advice I will ask".

    From everything I have read YOUR child will tell you when they are ready.  I worried about it too!  Starting too soon, and putting the pressure on them can actually cause them to have more issues later and can cause the process to take even longer. 

    My daycare lady simply said make it a fun experience and she will do it on her own. 

    She showed a little interest here and there but nothing solid.  I thought she was ready and started talking more about it.  We read potty books & kept the conversations going on a casual level.  But, she still had better things to do then to go potty. 

    Two weeks before her 3rd birthday the daycare lady and myself started talking pretty heavily about big girl panties and using the potty. 

    My daughter has always been a date & milestone kinda kid.  Its so weird!  So we started talking about how at 3yrs old kids wear big girl underwear.  That's what 3 yr olds do!  We went to the store and picked them out and arranged them in her drawer.  Then talked about it for 2 weeks.  She told everyone that when she turns 3 yrs old the pull-ups go away and she wears big girl panties! 

    On her 3rd birthday she screamed I am 3yrs old today and get to wear my big girl panties!  She had a few accidents the first couple weeks but did an overall, great job!  We sent tons of extra clothes and made every experience happy!  If there was an accident we just said "oops" and moved on. 

    Now in your case, since you have over-killed the fun part this may not work.

    If I were you I think I would back track.  Just stop what you are doing.  Start reading potty books along with the other books.  Let your child see use the potty. Observation but dont make it a center of attention topic all the time.

    You may be surprised they may do it on their own and come to you.

    Once your child turns 3 then talk to your ped about it.  Most docs dont even worry much about it until around that time anyway.

    Good Luck!

     

     

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