Toddler Behaviour - Shall this pass?

Ana+V · August 2014

My son is 2 years 3 months - he is pretty much okay and almost potty trained too but :

1. He hits his parents when he is super happy or just generally. I am 21 weeks pregnant with our second boy - and he kicks me really hard in my tummy or tries to sit on top of me. Tried talking to him, showing love to him, explaining him, nothing works

I have told him he has a baby brother in there - but then, as soon as he hears that - pat, i get a big slap on my tummy !

2. He will throw things - just for the fun of it

3. He will push kids at times at daycare

4. He will simply ignore the teacher ...

He is much well behaved with our maid. But with us around - he is out and out on his behaviour.

Any help ladies ? I am dreading what will happen when both the boys attack me

bitsybubbles7 · August 2014

I would start with some general action-consequences. If he hits Mommy, he gets a warning; if he does it again, Mommy doesn't play with him for a few minutes. Same with throwing things. If he throws the toy once, a warning; if he throws it again, he doesn't get the toy for a while.

I have no advice about the daycare, my kids behaves better there than at home.

ashiscute · August 2014

I agree with PP that it doesn't sound like there are any consequences for negative behaviors. We started timeout at 17 mos. If DS hits he gets a warning. If he hits (or bites) again he goes to timeout. Non negotiable. If he throws toys they go away until after his nap or the next day.

Your son is too little to understand that there is a baby in your belly and that he needs to be extra gentle because of that. But he is not too little to understand that he needs to be gentle in general. You just need to use logical consequences consistently and he will get it. It will take time but he will understand.

Ana+V · August 2014

Thanks Ladies. Yes, we have consequences but it doesn't work.

If he hits mummy - i tell him no more playtime with mummy and i leave. But he will follow with cute smiles and will keep saying hi to me till i give in. when i do - i do explain him no hitting, it's not good. But then after a few hours we are back to square 1

Same thing about throwing cars - for 1 minute he will listen, say sorry pick it up... but then in a few hours it's again the same story ..

ashiscute · August 2014

How long does the hiatus from playtime with mommy last after he hits? Just until he gives you enough cute smiles? If you are saying no more playing with mommy and then walking away but still interacting with him, then really there is no consequence. It actually sounds more like a game.

Honestly, I think you need to have easily defined consequences. This why timeouts are so often effective. They are an easy routine for both parent to follow through on and child to understand. One hit equals warning. Second hit equals timeout for 2 minutes. Then hug it out and move on. If you want his behavior to improve then you need to be consistent and not give in.

Mich411 · August 2014

Some of it is a phase! Stay on it and be consistent BOTH of you! Time outs never worked for my daughter. My sister in-law use to say it was the way I was doing it. She stayed observed 2 weeks and then spent the 3rd week trying too. No go!

Positive reinforcement or redirection works the best for my kido. She does this naughty behavior when she feels tension at home, is off schedule, and overly tired. (all were our fault)

However, the times that she was just naughty to be naughty it was attention seeking. We started ignoring her and finding something else for her to "help" with. Activity with her eliminates behaviors. Of course we cant always find stuff for our kids to do 24/7.

Thus, I also would say if you keep your listening ears on the rest of the morning we can go to the park. If she starts her negative behavior I would say "oh, no your listening ears fell off". She would laugh and put them back on and the motivation was the park.

Mich411 · August 2014

Let me also add - if she did not keep her listening ears on she would not go to the park. I would calmly say "oh man, maybe next time". She got to learn this phrase a few times and had meltdowns on a few occassions in front of the door but eventually caught on.

FabulousMrs.P · August 2014

I also recommend time outs for hitting. It was a struggle the first few time outs, and then her behavior improved. (we started when she was about 1.5 with time outs). They need to know that there are predictable consequences.

In our house, hitting is an automatic time out. No excuses. If she throws a toy, then the toy gets taken away for the rest of the day. If we are at the library and she doesn't want to listen, then we go home. It only took once or twice for her to realize that I mean business and now she behaves fairly well.

Also, I find that bad behavior seems to ebb and flow. Every now and then she tries to do something she knows she isn't supposed to do just to see if she can get away with it. When she finds that the answer is still no or a time out, or not being able to do something she wants to, then she quickly stops the behavior. She isn't perfectly behaved by a long shot...but she is learning.

Ana+V · August 2014

thankyou all....let me try these with my boy

FabulousMrs.P · August 2014

Also, don't give up. I know how frustrating a toddler can be and how easy it is to feel overwhelmed. Hang in there...it will work out if you put some work into it!

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