"Breast is best.." Yeah.. thanks for adding to my PPD..

StarBurry · August 2014

Today as I was at the store picking up my weekly box of formula, I hear a lady not a few feet from me say to another lady "What a shame, a baby that young being fed formula" I pretend to not hear her, knowing she is talking about me as I am the only other person in the aisle, I make my selection trying to figure out the best deal. As I walk away I hear her say loudly "Breast is best".

Okay.. I understand breast is best, i really do. In fact I had plans on having a fully natural birth and exclusively breastfeeding my son, my first born. Well, my son was breech as well as being 10 lbs. he was a c-section. The first blow.

Because of his size he had problems keeping his sugar up, after 2 straight days of him being poked every 2 hours and his sugar not getting any better we had to give him formula. Second blow.

I finally got back onto breastfeeding him, until 3 weeks later I went to the ER in crippling pain that lasted for 3 straight days, I had to have my gallbladder taken out the next day via emergency surgery. I was unable to breastfeed but I pumped and dumped the whole time I was in the hospital.

The next day they came in and told me I needed another surgery to clear the duct. I came out of surgery with lock jaw, I was on pain meds for the surgery and muscle relaxers for my jaw, I was unable to give my son any milk for over a month. Within that month I fell into a deep postpartum depression, pumping useless milk made it even worse. My supply dropped and I got infections from over pumping. My doctor told me it was best for my own sake if I stopped pumping.

So yes, I promise I understand breast is best, but some women have problems be it medical or they even adopted a baby. For you to say that to me was beyond out of line. Thank you for adding to my PPD.

This is also being the day that I put a bottle down on the counter to add 2 oz to it after he was still hungry after eating his 4 oz, and ended up grabbing the bottle my husband gave to him in the middle of the night, filling it and feeding it to him. It was empty, but it was not clean, it was sitting near the sink waiting to be cleaned. I cried so much once I realized what had happened, I called my husband and his doctor. Everyone assured me he would be fine, just might be a little fussy and spit up, but it runs through my head that im horrible for grabbing the wrong bottle and if I were breastfeeding this never would have happened. I spend the whole day a wreck. Your bi***y comments did not help..

BiggerinRealLife · August 2014

People need to get their heads out of their a$$es.

I believe "breast is best" as a BFing mom, myself. I also believe that doing whatever you need to do to keep yourself happy and healthy, and your baby the same, is what you should do. For some of us, that's BFing. For some that's FFing. For some it's having to totally revamp your plans once the reality/trauma of birth/having a baby sets in.

I don't care how you feed your kid, so long as you did your research and are happy with your choice. People who make comments like the above are neither helpful nor welcome IMO. Are you going to feed my kid for me? No? Then shut up.

People who think they can have a say in a life they will not be living - barring child abuse or neglect, of course - piss me off. You do your thing, Mama. Haters gonna hate, but you're the one doing your best for your baby. Screw her.

Rogue237 · August 2014

It doesn't matter if you planned a c section and stocked up on formula before the baby was born, it's none of her damn business. TP her.

nicole mackenzie · August 2014

I'm sorry.

She had no right.

A fed baby and happy momma is best.

eireyes · August 2014

Screw that asshat. You keep doing what you're doing. I'll bet your LO is healthy, growing and smiles at you and loves you, and that's the important thing.

Serenla · August 2014

See I wish I had all the time in the world to slap idiots who open their mouths, sadly I need to sleep so I cannot. I'm sorry she was a cuntburger ((hugs))=

AmberLiz99 · August 2014

I'm livid that someone said that. In so sorry. It is no ones business, and maybe "breast is best" in theory, but for a lot of us it's really not "best" in practice. My whole family is happier since I switched to formula, and I have zero regrets. People like that need to learn to keep their mouths shut. I am astounded how little compassion some people have.

CatherineDC2012 · August 2014

What a wench.

You're doing awesome. I haven't gone through half of what you have and I can barely hang in there somedays. You are a strong, strong woman.

deidremaria · August 2014

I'm so sorry you experienced that. No mother who is doing everything to keep her child safe, healthy and happy deserves that. I. Commend you for not stooping to her level. She was WAY out of line and needs a reality check. You're doing a great job from what I gather in this post and the only person whose feelings matter about how you care for your LO is your LO. Everyone else can eat balls

JessieAlbin · August 2014

I wish a bitch would make a comment to me about formula feeding. For real. Hearing about the nerve these judgemental assholes have to publicly shame a stranger makes me so fucking stabby.

thomas930 · August 2014

I wish I could stand in the formula isle and stand up for any person that gets talked down to for purchasing food for their babies.

And this is coming from a breastfeeding and PPD mama.

zoopsiedaisy · August 2014

I'm so sorry to hear that happened to you. Everyone needs to keep their mouths shut because no one knows the back story as to why someone is doing something. And as long as you are feeding your baby, it doesn't matter how. You are doing great! And no worries on the bottle. When my daughter was 4 days old we were in children's hospital for fluids because she was dehydrated because our latch was bad and my milk wasn't in. The day we went in we were giving formula to try to hydrate and get her to pee. It didn't work and my husband left a bottle in the living room before we left for the hospital. When we got home about 36 hours later it was time to feed her and I guess through the sleep deprivation I gave her the old, partially eaten bottle. She sucked it down before I realized what had happened and she was no worse for the wear. Keep your head up and forget about that mean bitch. We all make mistakes. I've got a few more stories too!

MamaFantastic · August 2014

I bet she would have felt AWFUL if she had heard how hard you worked to BF.

AcaAwkward · August 2014

It's situations like this where I wish it were me and I could smile sweetly and say "I can't breastfeed...because of the cancer" and just walk away.

(Not that one should have to have cancer as an "excuse" to FF, but I think reasons like that are the only way to make a self-righteous bitch feel as horrible as she made you feel.)

Chin up, lady -- you're doing a fabulous job!

baileymama3 · August 2014

I am so sorry. You shouldn't have had to deal with any of the horrible things you went through and to have some judgey bitch talk "behind" your back- how awful. I am so sick and tired of "breast is best." I hope you can let this roll off your shoulders and continue to be a rockstar mom.

snowbound · August 2014

I'm sorry you had to deal with that. What a complete jerk. Keep your head up mamma.

ksulli · August 2014

I really don't understands strangers interest in how your baby is fed. See those last words: your baby is fed. All that really matters. Three years from now nobody is going to care what exit your baby used, or what fuel they used to grow those first few months. You're doing great. And I hope recovering well from all those surgeries.

Ashleypixie · August 2014

AcaAwkward said:

It's situations like this where I wish it were me and I could smile sweetly and say "I can't breastfeed...because of the cancer" and just walk away. (Not that one should have to have cancer as an "excuse" to FF, but I think reasons like that are the only way to make a self-righteous bitch feel as horrible as she made you feel.) Chin up, lady -- you're doing a fabulous job!

I've actually done that! I've had by own issues with breast feeding but not to that degree of course. I just wanted that person to realize that women make the decision to FF for many reasons other than being "ignorant and selfish" such as I was. I feel bad about lying about cancer but she really tore into me. Since we can't tie them to a chair and punch them out gangster style then it's fair game to do and say whatever to make them feel like total motherfuckers. I hate that catchphrase "breast is best!" Cool! It rhymes! Fuck you though!

Rogue237 · August 2014

And here's the thing that I don't get about self-righteous asshats on this. 30 years ago they told my mom that formula was best - that it was scientifically engineered to be best. Today it's breastmilk. In 30 more years maybe we'll be giving our babies milkshakes and then some stupid bitch will see someone breastfeeding and say "tsk tsk tsk, milkshake is best." Ok, now that I'm done ranting I vote for Aca's response.

AcaAwkward · August 2014

@Ashleypixie‌ Good for you!!! What was her response?!

Ashleypixie · August 2014

She just uttered something smugly and walked away. She just got done telling me I shouldn't have any more kids because I was stupid but I'm pretty sure it hit her a minute later like, "oh shit, she might die and never have kids oh dear god I suck as a human being." But who knows. She probably knew I was lying.

MamaFantastic · August 2014

Rogue237 said:
And here's the thing that I don't get about self-righteous asshats on this. 30 years ago they told my mom that formula was best - that it was scientifically engineered to be best. Today it's breastmilk. In 30 more years maybe we'll be giving our babies milkshakes and then some stupid bitch will see someone breastfeeding and say "tsk tsk tsk, milkshake is best."

Ok, now that I'm done ranting I vote for Aca's response.

It DOES bring all the boys to the yard. Bout time we recognize the nutritional value in that.

porterlove525 · August 2014

I wish I could hug you. Hang in there mama, you are doing a wonderful job as a mom. I hope recovery goes smoothly and you can finally rest, relax and just enjoy your LO.

Trgree1712 · August 2014

I would have been pissed and I probably would not have been able to keep my mouth shut. Stupid lady.

J&NL · August 2014

People are assholes. Try not to let a stranger ruin your day. Their opinion doesn't matter.

MapleLeafMama · August 2014

A baby that is fed and nourished is what is BEST. Be that breast milk or formula. Who the fuck cares. That lady has a special place in hell reserved for her. Karma is a bitch.

lokimau · August 2014

People suck. So sorry you had to deal with obnoxious asshats.

zazu13 · August 2014

I am so sorry. I still cry about having to quit breast feeding. What an insensitive, judgy thing to say. What is wrong with people?

Alana526 · August 2014

Parents who love their children unconditionally are best. The end.

RedBird11 · August 2014

I just don't understand why people (especially strangers!) feel the need to make comments on other people's lives when they are not asked for their opinion. Who cares if someone feeds their baby formula. You don't know what the situation is... and even if the person chose formula from day 1... who cares! Formula fed babies can be perfectly healthy and happy. It just makes me so mad. I am in the process of weaning DS because of health issues myself. I introduced formula a month ago. I don't know how I will be able to hold back if anyone ever makes a comment to me in the formula aisle.

So sorry this happened to you.

StarBurry · August 2014

Wow! Im overwhelmed by the support ladies! Thanks so much for the support, making me feel better and laugh. It just felt great to vent it out. lm not one to really keep my mouth shut but with something like this that im depressed about as it is, her words hit me in the soft and squishy part of my heart. On the plus side my LO is 4 months today and in the 97% for height and 905 for weight! Hes super healthy and happy!

*sparky* · August 2014

How did you restrain yourself from telling that self righteous bitch off? I just don't understand WTF is wrong with some people. I am so over all of the judgmental obsession over BFing.

cnbean · August 2014

Oh I would have killed her! Both my boys were/are FF due to health reasons, but no where near yours! I have some serious words stored up for the first person to try and shame me for doing what is best for MY family. Don't let it get to you, her kids have probably had formula too!