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Suggestions from other TTC-ers (BFP mentioned)

coriej4110coriej4110 member
in Trouble TTC
I debated which board I was going to post this on. I'm hoping this board would be able to give me the better advice. My husband and I had been ttc for about 3 years, and recently got pregnant. Which was a total shock, since we were only looking into seeing a RE and hadn't scheduled anything yet. However, now that we got a BFP, I'm not sure how I'm going to tell my SIL. Her and her husband also have had fertility issues, have been trying for about 5-6years (they've never gone to a fertility doctor or looked into it, not that it changes anything) I know anytime my friends or family got pregnant, a part of me was always upset. So I want to be as sensitive as possible, but now that the shoe is on the other foot. I'm not really sure what exactly to say, without sounding insensitive.

Any suggestions on how to break the news to her?
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Re: Suggestions from other TTC-ers (BFP mentioned)

  • coriej4110coriej4110 member
    We both know that we've been trying for a long time. We're not super close, and never really go into details. 
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  • BunnyBerryBunnyBerry member
    It's wonderful that you care enough about your SIL to want to be as sensitive as possible, although I'm sorry you had to go through those years of pain yourself as well.

    I wouldn't say anything about how it was a shock, that you hadn't even had to go to your RE appointment. I'd also not do it in person where she has to allow you to see her reaction. Perhaps YH could tell her over the phone?

    Congratulations by the way! 
    January 3T Siggy Challenge - New Year's Resolutions
    image
    imageimage

    Me (29), DH (30) TTC actively 54 55+ cycles | All BFNs
    MFI (low everything) | Endo Stage 1 & Stenotic Cervix (treated) | PCO
    Married - July 2008 | Started TTC - Jan 2009 | RE Visit #1 - Mar 2014 
    IUI #1 ICI #1 - June | IUI #1.1 Laparoscopy - Aug
    IUIs #1.2, 2, 3 - Sept, Oct, Nov (Letrozole) - BFNs 
    IUI #4 - Dec (Bravelle) | IUI #5 - Dec/Jan (Bravelle) - 5 follies + TI - BFNs
    IUI #5.1 - Jan (Bravelle) Cancelled 
    Planning to start IVF in March!
    ***All Welcome***
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  • coriej4110coriej4110 member
    Thanks for the advice ladies! 
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  • BellaMielBellaMiel member
    Congratulations!  

    I agree with the other ladies.  I personally would like a very casual phone call or meet up, depending on how you two normally hang out.  Don't make it special.  Make the announcement brief and continue a conversation like old times. I wouldn't volunteer any information unless she asks.

    Me: 29  DH: 37
    Married: March 2013
    TTC #1: since July 2013


    image

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  • shirleymaebyshirleymaeby member
    @angelina2404 - One of my "close" friends recently told me via text too and I haven't heard from her again since.  I know she was trying to make sure I found out from her and not FB, but afterward I also felt like we're not really as close as I'd thought.

    -----------------------------------SIGGY WARNING-------------------------------------


    Me: 31| DH: 36
    TTC #1 Since 07/2010
    DX: Unexplained Infertility
    TX: 
    IUI #1 on 7/3/14 100 mg Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI (44 million sperm, 1 dominant follie) = BFN
    IUI #2: on 7/28/14 100 mg Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI (23 million sperm, 2 dominant follies) = BFN

    IUI #3 on 8/22/2014 100 mg Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI (53 million sperm, 2 dominant follies)= BFP MMC @ 7weeks


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  • lisa89760lisa89760 member
    This literally just happened to me like 5 seconds ago...one of my good friends at work sent me a text letting me know and she basically said she knows I have a lot going on and she wanted to let me process the news any way I needed to.  Which I thought was nice.  She saw how blind sided me and my other friend going through IF were when another girl just blurted it out over lunch one day.  

    I don't think there is a good way to find out, but I don't want my friends to be scared to tell me when they do get pregnant.  It stings to hear for sure...but I am happy for them.  
    Me (29), DH (32)
    Aug 2011  - Married
    Jan 2013   - Started TTC
    Jan 2014   - OB started some testing 
                         - HSG - Normal
                         - Ultrasound - Normal
                         - SA - Normal, but tested positive for Ureaplasma
                         - Both of us on antibiotics to treat ureaplasma
                         - Blood work - progesterone: 15.9, TSH: 0.89, FT4: 1.2, Prolactin: 33.4 
    Feb 2014   - Endometrial Biopsy - Normal
    Mar 2014   - Prolactin: 22.9, referred to RE
    Apr 2014   - First RE appointment, put on medication for high prolactin levels 
                      - Clomid (50 mg) 1 follicle, Trigger shot - BFN
                      - Second SA - All Normal, borderline morph (5%) 
    May 2014   - Clomid (100mg) 2 follicles, Trigger shot - BFN
                      - blood work: Estradiol: 32.7, FSH: 5.3, Prolactin: 14.1
    June 2014  - IUI #1, Clomid (150 mg), 3 follicles, Trigger shot - BFN 
    July 2014   - IUI #2, Clomid (150 mg), 4 follicles, Trigger shot - BFN
    Aug 2014   - IUI #3, Femara 2.5, 3 follicles, Trigger shot (first time done by DH!!) - BFN
                      - Hysteroscopy - Normal
    Sept 2014 - IUI #4 Femara 2.5, 1 follicle, possibility of another one, Trigger shot - BFN
                       -Progesterone test 4 DPIUI - 7.8...started crinone.
    Oct 2014 - IUI #5 Follistim 150 3 possibly 4 follicles - Trigger Shot - BFN
    Oct/Nov 2014 - Follistim 150 with TI & Trigger shot - ???

    **October Siggy Challenge**

    I don't even know what he is supposed to be!
    image


    **EVERYONE WELCOME!! :)**

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  • coriej4110coriej4110 member
    Just an update (thanks to everyone that gave advice). My husband ended up telling SIL. Since we're not that close, he said he would let her know. He said she took it fairly well, and "joked" we beat her to it. I'm not sure that was a genuine joke, since when we first got married everyone teased about who would be first. 

    But definitely glad we told her and didn't find out from someone else. Especially after other family members said "Oh she's gonna be pissed/upset". So glad we were able to tell her before it got out.

    Thanks again!
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