Not registering

frasey · August 2014

SIL is due in Jan. I offered to host a shower (kinda with my mom I guess?), and my mom and SIL discussed and chose a date at the end of Oct as my parents are going away for several months in Nov. Anyway, I asked SIL if they're planning to register anywhere, and she says that she's not sure.... Im still waiting for her to give me a list of people to invite, so its not like I need registry info immediately, but I know that as soon as the invites go out, people are going to be asking about a registry.

Do I just tell people to get them whatever they think is best? Or how do I handle that?

VOR · August 2014

If she doesn't register and people ask you, just say that she didn't register. It's not on you to "fix" this. The guests will figure out what to do.

frasey · August 2014

I like that idea, but like me and you, she's a super planner and said that she needs time to research everything before possibly registering. I don't want to rush her, as I already feel its a bit early for the shower (but not my call), and I don't want her to feel like she needs to have a registry for the sake of it. And she said she may not register at all!

SO yeah - my goal isn't to make her register, but how to respond when people ask about it...

ArgyleBride · August 2014

Goodness gracious! This isn't a tough one, it's how all baby showers were until recently. If they ask, you say she isn't registered. Their minds will not explode if they are not given a list of pre-approved gifts. Don't give this non-problem a second thought.

MaybeKatie10 · August 2014

If she doesn't register, GOOD. Then people can actually sit down and think about what THEY would like to give her instead of being handed a glorified shopping list. Back in the day, people ENJOYED spending time trying to pick the perfect gift to delight their loved ones. Nothing wrong with going without a registry.

neverblushed · August 2014

I'm in the "you don't really need to register for a baby shower" camp, and I agree that it's no biggie if your SIL doesn't register.

I did register, but I sort of felt like a tool about it. I can see it for a wedding, where you're trying to make sure you get matching sets of stuff. And there are items where it makes sense to let people know which one you want, like the monitor and any slings or carriers. If people want to use the registry for their own list, or to get the completion coupon, I can see it. But I felt it was awkward to dictate the little supplies to people.

Not registering says, "Hey, we've got the big-ticket items covered, so have fun buying us stuff that YOU think is important or interesting." She might even wind up getting stuff she wouldn't have thought to register for!

Unknown · August 2014

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526SadieSadie · August 2014

If they ask, all you have to say is "she chose not to register".

If she is planning on registering and just hasn't done that yet, remind her that some guests prefer to shop off of a registry so she should have something in place by the time the invitations go out so you can direct people to the right place.

Either way, it's not the end of the world.

hellopartyof5 · August 2014

Let her know about Lucie's list... It makes registering much easier in my mind! *back to lurking*

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