Any plus sized moms out there? (feeling fat vs. pregnant)

banana2020 · August 2014

I'm a STM and I'm still struggling with feeling pregnant vs. fat even though I've been down this road before. I am up a few lbs this pregnancy (I was up 1lb at my last appt on 8/8 but I think I gained a couple more since). I'm trying so hard not to gain too much. But with my last pregnancy I really fought the whole baby belly thing b/c I just felt like I was (in my head) using pregnancy as an excuse to not be fat ("oh look! It's a baby belly! I'm not fat!" But yeah. You are fat too).

This is my last go around and I really want to feel pregnant vs. fat right now and just embrace it and enjoy it. But it's so hard to. I don't have any summer maternity wear so I'm looking forward to the fall so I can throw on maternity jeans and boots and feel comfortable again. But for now, I'm mostly squeezing into stretchy skirts since none of my pants fit and wearing baggy (longer to hide muffin tops) tops that were probably too big before (I never wear fitted clothing) and now are fitting with the extra bump in the front (because, despite being overweight, I still have a pronounced bump now).

How are you feeling about being pregnant and not just feeling fatter?

Sorry if this sounds ridiculous but it is what it is.

peggels24 · August 2014

FTM and overweight. It's clear to me that I am pregnant and not getting "fatter" - have you tried taking progress photos? Even if you don't want to share them with anyone else, it's pretty cool to see how I'm getting bigger.

banana2020 · August 2014

Dresses looked awful on me before (my rear is just, ... no). I did go to Target and grab some maternity jeans that make me feel good but this week it's going to be hot & humid so jeans just sound so impractical to me. But the thought of figuring out clothing for the week that fits (the skirt I have one today fit 2 weeks ago and it's so uncomfortable today) just seems to daunting. I should embrace it, I guess I'm just so self conscious that it's tough.

I didn't even take pics of myself pregnant last time until I was about 6.5 months along. I kind of kick myself for that because I look at those and I TOTALLY looked pregnant! But I still tried to hide myself under enormous fleeces and turtlenecks.

Fashion plate, table for one!

rainbows · August 2014

Maternity clothes are more flattering than oversized regular clothes. That being said, I have 0 maternity style shorts/capris, so I have been making do with dresses and skirts. But the waistbands on the skirts are starting to dig in. Treat yourself to maternity clothes, and take some progress pictures this time around!

peggels24 · August 2014

I'm wearing maternity jeans today because I didn't get a chance to do laundry this weekend. I've been postponing buying a bunch of maternity clothes but I have managed to get some and I still have some elastic waistband pants that I bought when I broke my arm two years ago that still fit. I definitely feel better when my clothes fit properly. I refuse to wear anything uncomfortable no matter what.

Don't try to hide yourself - you are what you are. Right now there is nothing you can do about losing weight because you are going to have a baby. Dress comfortably and appropriately for your size and I think you will feel a LOT better. Squeezing into clothes only makes me feel worse.

Beauxbaton · August 2014

I have hardly any pics of me pregnant last time. This time around I think it's even harder for me to feel pregnant because I'm still not feeling kicks. My doc said it might take me longer this time because my placenta is entirely anterior, last time it was entirely posterior, so I felt every little kick. Summer is the worst for me. I hate being hot and sweaty. And currently it is 101 degrees outside. I still don't have a bump. I dont wear shorts. Summer is just miserable.

I'm looking forward to fall and winter. Skirts make me look super wide. So I'll be okay once jeans aren't awful.

nah82 · August 2014

I'm plus sized and carry the extra weight in my tummy anyhow. I used to work as a cashier and was asked way too many times if I was expecting when I was not, grr! But, I feel the opposite. When I am pregnant, I have so much more body confidence. Pregnancy #1 we went to the beach and I felt great wearing that maternity suit because I was pregnant and supposed to have a belly! Shopping for clothes normally has me in tears in the dressing room trying to find something flattering. But in maternity clothes, I'm not trying to cover a muffin top, I'm highlighting a baby bump. I have so much more fun picking out clothes, though it IS tougher to find 2x maternity clothes and I have to order everything online. I hope as you switch to over to your maternity wardrobe you will feel more "pregnant" and confident.

KnitPixy · August 2014

Pregnant and overweight and having a hard time. I went out and bought some maternity clothes, mostly bottoms because I have a lot of tops that I can still wear. I worked really hard to loose weight prior to getting pregnant. I was down about 40lbs (have about another 40lbs to go) going in to this pregnancy.

What has been hard for me is the fact that I'm pulling out clothing that I had been in the to donate pile because it was too big on me. I feel fine and I'm actually not worried about what the scale says (I'm up about 10lbs so far, all boobs and belly mind you, everything else has stayed the same) but I'm really discouraged to pull out clothes I thought I was done with.

I would recommed getting yourself a couple of outfits that help show of the bump to help you feel better. I know it works for me (of course I've been living in about three outfits as a result).

*Hugs*

LaBellaVida · August 2014

Me. I feel just really fat. I look at my pictures last year of me pregnant and I Def. Looked and felt pregnant at 20 weeks. I've gained no weight yet this time around too. I'm in maternity jeans though.

I'm just ready to feel pregnant, have a big round belly and feel my baby move and watch them kick and roll inside.

Until that happens, I think I'll just feel fat.

4littlebears · August 2014

I go back and forth. Mostly I feel pregnant, I'm just allowing myself to let go of my normal body issues since I have an excuse now. But then I tell someone, who I've known for several years, that I'm pregnant and they're like... "I couldn't even tell!" Well ok then! I can tell, my stomach doesn't normally stick out THIS far! I'm like a size 16/18 so I'm big but I don't normally have a gut like this, lol.

oboeodo · August 2014

namcgee said:

I'm plus sized and carry the extra weight in my tummy anyhow. I used to work as a cashier and was asked way too many times if I was expecting when I was not, grr! But, I feel the opposite. When I am pregnant, I have so much more body confidence. Pregnancy #1 we went to the beach and I felt great wearing that maternity suit because I was pregnant and supposed to have a belly! Shopping for clothes normally has me in tears in the dressing room trying to find something flattering. But in maternity clothes, I'm not trying to cover a muffin top, I'm highlighting a baby bump. I have so much more fun picking out clothes, though it IS tougher to find 2x maternity clothes and I have to order everything online. I hope as you switch to over to your maternity wardrobe you will feel more "pregnant" and confident.

Where do you find clothes? I am really kinda between XL and 2XL I think. I fit in XL, but I have a huge ass and I am always feeling like the back of my pants hang down too low. It is even hard to find XL online and I am not much for shopping for clothes in stores.

nah82 · August 2014

oboeodo said:

namcgee said:

I'm plus sized and carry the extra weight in my tummy anyhow. I used to work as a cashier and was asked way too many times if I was expecting when I was not, grr! But, I feel the opposite. When I am pregnant, I have so much more body confidence. Pregnancy #1 we went to the beach and I felt great wearing that maternity suit because I was pregnant and supposed to have a belly! Shopping for clothes normally has me in tears in the dressing room trying to find something flattering. But in maternity clothes, I'm not trying to cover a muffin top, I'm highlighting a baby bump. I have so much more fun picking out clothes, though it IS tougher to find 2x maternity clothes and I have to order everything online. I hope as you switch to over to your maternity wardrobe you will feel more "pregnant" and confident.

Where do you find clothes? I am really kinda between XL and 2XL I think. I fit in XL, but I have a huge ass and I am always feeling like the back of my pants hang down too low. It is even hard to find XL online and I am not much for shopping for clothes in stores.

I found 2x shirts online from Old Navy that fit me so far. There was a short sleeved striped tee that I really like and is flattering AND long enough. I got another one that was long and tunic-ish so I did actually buy black leggings to wear with that shirt and have worn that outfit quite a bit. (they had them in 1x and 2x). I also got a pair of 1x grey drawstring shorts there that ended up being really comfortable even though I have not worn shorts for years (usually wear capris because I'm self concious about showing thighs) and a white tank for underneath shirts that might show too much cleavage or not be quite long enough. I tried on jeans at Motherhood and the XL actually would've fit me well except for they were sold out of the regular length in the store I was at and online, so I was out of luck with those. But they did have a much larger plus size selection of pants than I remember from my last pregnancy (although the plus sizes of course cost more than the regular sizes). I am lucky that I got a lot of the stuff I bought for my previous pregnancies back from the friend I had lent them to and she had also bought a lot of additional things she is letting me borrow.

shannjohnston · August 2014

I have to go shopping for pants for work tomorrow. I am both looking forward to having pants that fit and dreading having to try on pants that may not fit. Last time around I deluded myself into thinking I could pull off the size I wished I was and not the size I really was. This time, I'll at least let myself be comfortable.

AggieMom0809 · August 2014

I wasn't concerned about it with my other pregnancies, but this time I am. I did so well last summer and finally lost and kept off 20lbs. Now, it's hard going back to wearing my pants that I was finally too small for and they aren't really fitting either. I'm still in the recommended weight gain for starting out over weight, but all I'm seeing is fat instead of the baby bump. I know part of it is the baby (laying down you can tell exactly where the "real" bump is, but it just looks like fat and bloating to me when I stand.

I guess that's really not much help on how to deal with it. You're not alone though.

stephanie7583 · August 2014

Like all the PPs I feel exactly the same. I'm a size 18 and have not been feeling very pregnant just bloated and fat. I am a FTM so I will definitely use the suggestions of buying nice looking maternity clothes and possibly a pedi/mani as well! Lots of hugs to you all!

lawwarrior · August 2014

I'm overweight. I had lost about 50 pounds before getting pregnant. I teeter between 3 and 6 pounds gained since I got pregnant. I battled a lot of nausea in the beginning and some days now it's still sticking around so my weight fluctuates. I went shopping recently and bought some nice leggings. I'm still able to fit in most of my clothes because they were big to begin with and I was using a belt. I found a lot of those nice short in front, long in back blouses and sweaters that looked flattering with my bump and weren't considered maternity wear. I think it will look great with the leggings. I just tried on so many clothes. It's really hard to find plus maternity wear in the stores where you can try stuff on.

Beauxbaton · August 2014

Even when I was pregnant I still had an "apron" of fat if that makes sense. I think it really prevented me from ever really looking pregnant.

caitlindenise · August 2014

I feel ya girl. I'm bigger by 5 lbs than I was 9 months pregnant with my first. So right now baby is baby Jackson is just making my fat stick out more. I have also been waiting to buy maternity clothes for the fall/winter. I have one pair of maternity Bermuda shorts that I wear all the time! Not too much longer and we'll have a round belly! I agree with everyone else, take pics and go ahead and treat yourself to some flattering maternity clothes!

WormyGo · August 2014

I'm was also in the 16/18 size before pregnancy and I'm not really showing at all. In the past I carry all of my weight in legs/bottom and arms and little in my midsection so I'm a little surprised you can't see any bump. I've taken some pictures but I feel like I just look like I've gained a gut not a baby. I totally agree with everyone though that once I stopped trying to fit into my pants that still zipped fine but were too uncomfortable I've felt a lot better about myself. I've never been really comfortable in tight clothes especially pants so finding plus size maternity clothes has been a struggle, especially because I need professional clothes for work. Motherhood had some nice stuff in the store I could try on which I've gotten. I'm still looking for some more professional stuff though. I found this article that has a number of suggestions for finding a range of plus size clothes to work for maternity clothes.

https://www.babycenter.com/0_how-to-find-plus-size-maternity-wear_1504869.bc

TehysKitaBug · August 2014

I'm definitely just feeling fat. At 20 wks I'm still down almost 10 pounds from pre-preg. But even with my early year weight loss was still at least 50 pounds overweight. Most of my weight is in my lower belly and legs so with no weight gain, no bump, and no movement...I just feel fat. Starting to feel a kick or two here and there so hopefully that will help. I'm in scrubs all day at work and those are in no way flattering either. Everyone who knows already keeps telling me "you're pregnant not fat!" But when I tell people I'm pregnant they dont believe me. So until someone (other than my mother) tells me I look pregnant...yeah...

12chachacha · August 2014

I'm overweight too - over the last couple weeks I've started to feel "pregnant" and not fat. It helps when people start noticing but it really depends on what I wear. I got some free maternity tops from a friend and wore one last week and people were really able to tell. So much better than squeezing myself into my regular clothes.
Go to the maternity store and buy yourself a couple nice outfits! It will make you feel more comfortable. I also rub my belly a lot and that helps :-)

CGOODPAS · August 2014

I know exactly what you mean. I had lost almost fifty pounds before getting pregnant and had planned on losing a little more to be at a healthy weight and BMI but our surprise changed things. I have been struggling with feeling pregnant and not fat and I HATE the way people eye my stomach after asking how far a long I am. I haven't bought much maternity clothing yet since I had a selection of bigger clothes still in my closet but at 19 weeks I figure it's time. I'm hoping that helps me feel pregnant not fat too. My stomach is getting bigger but I don't have the cute bump yet. I think the extra hormones do not help because some days I can be more sensitive about my appearance when I never was before. If I start to feel fat and not pregnant I usually grab the ultrasound picture from my last appointment and rub my belly. Or I'll sit in the work in progress nursery and just relax. Being in there always makes me realize the growing tummy is happening for a reason!

I hope that helps

artistewonder · August 2014

I'm definitely overweight and pregnant..with a B belly..right? thats what they call it? So i don't think i'll get that cute bump and people have no idea how far along i am and they definitely mistake my fat for a baby belly..BUT i will say that wearing dresses has made my life exponentially easier! Skater dresses, baby doll style, whatever they are called are super flattering and during a time where you are analyzing your appearance its nice to have an easy go to look, makes your belly look more..complete? Anyways thats my experience, maternity tends to be too long on me I am only 5'3 but sometimes just some new clothes can make the overweight pregnant woman alot happier!

banana2020 · August 2014

Thanks for all of the reassuring thoughts, I'm glad I'm not alone but I kind of wish I was! It's not that much fun feeling fat vs. pregnant. BUT, you had great advice and very helpful perspectives and I appreciate it greatly!

I think I will treat myself to some clothes this weekend. It's the unofficial start of fall so that gives me permission to wear fall clothes, right?

rainbows · August 2014

banana2020 said:
I think I will treat myself to some clothes this weekend. It's the unofficial start of fall so that gives me permission to wear fall clothes, right?

Not if its still 100 degrees there, like it is here =D

banana2020 · August 2014

true @rainbows!

rainbows said:

banana2020 said:
I think I will treat myself to some clothes this weekend. It's the unofficial start of fall so that gives me permission to wear fall clothes, right?

Not if its still 100 degrees there, like it is here =D

haha! True! Hopefully it'll be back to the 70s next week here

KWBW · August 2014

@artistewonder.. I hear ya about the B belly.. I can't wait for my 'pooch' and upper belly to form into one round belly.

XomgitsshanX · August 2014

I was a 16/18 before pregnancy, I cannot wear that size at all anymore I think I could get them on but eventually buttons would pop. Lol I did buy a maternity shirt, one dress and one pair of slacks because I have to "dress up" for work. I'm starting to get more confident or at least be okay with how I look. Like other ladies say there's not much we can do about it right now baby comes first. I have yet to gain a lb but I know my body is shifting because I can see a bump. I asked why I haven't gained and they said "don't rush it it will come everyone is different" <~the nurse at the dr. It is hard and I have just been buying bigger sizes in stuff because maternity does cost more but buying bigger sizes is not very attractive and instead makes me look like a marshmallow so I have decided no more bigger sizes and actually start looking for maternity. Motherhood is good yes pricey but they have a good selection. XL fits kinda snug but 1x fits too big. Being pregnant is amazing. So embrace your bump/belly/thighs whatever and just enjoy yourself. Easier said than done I know because I still feel as you do.

good luck to you. Remember we all have our insecurities and worries!! I'm sure you look fantastic!

cmaceachern · August 2014

I was around a size 16 when I got pregnant. I was terrified about packing on weight during pregnancy. But so far I have actually lost weight, I'm lighter now than I was when I got pregnant! Food hasn't been my friend these past 17+ weeks.

I thought I'd have the B belly but so far it's pretty round. What I feel that helped me feel pregnant vs. fat was getting mat clothes. I went to Motherhood and found they had a great selection of plus size clothes ( which made me so happy! I thought I was going to have problems finding them).

Having clothes that fit me well makes me feel so much better about myself. My bump is still on the smaller size so I'm sure people think I've put on weight, but I feel good about how I look right now and that's all that matters

Embrace your beautiful curves ladies!

banana2020 · August 2014

I actually went through my closet last night and found some of my old maternity clothes from my last pregnancy (which was timed, minus about 11 days, exactly like this one... so it's helpful as far as seasons/clothing goes). And strangely, the jeans are too big in the rear and thighs for me! I'm SHOCKED, to say the least. The jeans are SO comfy but really baggy

( I don't think I've lost any weight in that region so I can't really figure that out. BUT I'm wearing a denim skirt from my last pregnancy that feels like HEAVEN today. I'm so comfortable and it feels good.

) Thanks for the push to just embrace this. My bump is definitely showing today (between the maternity skirt not squeezing my belly into something it shouldn't and wearing a cami/fleece, it's in full view) and I actually feel PREGNANT today vs.fat.

I was so elated when I found my old maternity stuff. I forgot how much I loved some of my old blouses and cardigans from last time (mostly from Motherhood Maternity so they held up nicely).

I'm hoping I can start wearing some of this stuff next week if the weather cools down a tad.

caitlindenise · August 2014

Posted on here a few days ago. I can't hold out any longer...I have GOT to get some maternity clothes! This is my second and I'm poking out big time compared to my first. I was 6 months before I needed maternity clothes. And I've lost more weight this go around too, I can wear my size smaller jeans. But when your size bigger jeans still pinch your tummy....time to get some clothes!! Plus my tops are tight

jlmeg78 · August 2014

There are a lot of days that I think that everyone just looks at me and thinks I'm fat. Those days are hard. As my belly gets bigger I'm starting to look more pregnant and it makes me feel better. I am in maternity clothes now other than my pants for work BECAUSE I cannot find dress pants that fit me right.i have big thighs. So for now I'm wearing my pre pregnancy pants with a belly band. A friend of mine who was pregnant 5 years ago for the same time period as I will be gave me all of her old clothes since we were also the same size. I am set on jeans and shirts. I feel like people can tell I'm pregnant when I'm wearing the maternity stuff vs my regular clothes and that makes me feel better. I've had over the last 5 years several people ask me when I was due when I wasn't pregnant and that was upsetting. Now that I am no one says anything.

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