TTC After a Loss

Intro

Hello ladies,
This is my first post here although I've been lurking for a few days. I am 33 yrs old and married 2 years. I found out in June I was pregnant with our first baby and we were thrilled. At 7w2d i had my first us and saw my baby with a nice hb of 138. At 11 weeks I started spotting and my Dr had me come in for an us which showed that my baby had stopped growing at 8w5d and had no HB. I was and still am devastated and heartbroken. I had to have a D&C last week and I still can't believe this happened.
Now I am here just waiting for my next 2 cycles to come and go so we can try again. I feel such a an awful mixture of emotions: sadness, guilt, shame, hopelessness, and worry. But worst of all I feel like I let the people I love down, especially my husband and my mom who were so excited with me for this baby. I know everyone says it is nothing i did, but i keep obsessing over everything i did, ate or drank around that 8 week mark. I keep thinking there has to be a reason this happened. My baby was alive and well the week before.
Anyway, I hope that I can be some support to you ladies here and that I can learn some things from all of you. Thanks for taking the time to read this.
Married: 4/28/12
BFP: 7/2/14 ;  1st US 7/21/14 Baby measuring 7w5d, HB of 138;  Discovered MMC 8/18/14 at 11w2d, baby measuring 8w5d, no hb ; 8/19/14 D&C
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TTCAL December siggy challenge - Autocorrect Fails

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| <a href="http://www.fertilityfriend.com" style="font-size:smaller;" >Ovulation Tracker</My Chart

Re: Intro

  • I know it's hard to not have answers, but you can't blame yourself! I'm so sorry for your loss. Take time to heal. ((Hugs)) welcome to the board
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  • I did the exact same thing, blamed myself. It was the only way i could make sense out of it! But my doctor assured me that there was nothing i could've done to cause it and no way it could have been prevented. He described it as a fluke, its pretty common with first time pregnancies. It is usually pure chance and just comes down to bad luck. Personally, i was told it was most likely due to a chromosomal abnormality
  • I am so sorry for your loss and that you find yourself here. As others said try not to blame yourself. I know that that doesn't really help though. What can you do but obsess? :) Nonetheless take care of yourself, heal, and when you are ready try again. I hope that your stay here is short and sweet, and that you find the support that you desire.
    Me: 24 
    DH: 25
    BFP: 1/12/14       EDD: 9/18/14     MC: 1/15/14
    BFP: 5/6/14         EDD: 1/5/15       MC: 5/10/14
    BFP: 12/29/14      EDD: 9/12/15      MC: 1/5/15
    Dx: PCOS - 8/20/14, Hashimoto's - 10/10/14, Gluten Allergy 10/10/14


    My Chart

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    TTCAL January Challenge
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  • rslh10rslh10 member
    edited August 2014
    I am so sorry for your loss, love. Welcome to the board. Don't be too hard on yourself, this is not your fault. Big hugs to you.
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    Hubs & I -29 • Met 5/18/04 • Married 5/8/10
    BFP #1 DS 2/7/11 (Born @ 34 wks via ECS due to Pre-e) TTC #2 since Aug '13
    DX Low AMH (.58) March '14 • FSH-7.5 • E2-35.5 (Nov '14)
    SA- Great numbers • SIS- Clear (Nov '14)
     Cycle 1- Clomid CD3-7 & Trigger-BFP • EDD 1/12/15 
    Ectopic @ 5w6d • Methotrexate Shot 5/18/14
    Cycle 2,3,4- Clomid CD3-7 & Trigger-- BFN
    Cycle 5- Letrozole CD3-7 & Trigger BFFN
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    • Everyone Welcom
    TTCAL January Siggy Challenge • Animal Snow Interactions
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  • I am so sorry for your loss. Welcome.
    TTCAL January Siggy Challenge: Animals in the Snow

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    About Me: 

    AMA 35 :  DH 33
    BFP#1 1/26/14 (EDD: 10/7/14).  MMC 3/10/14 D&C 3/14/14
    RE Consult 11/3/14 - AMH 2.25 "great" . FSH 7.10 . Low Vitamin D
    Myomectomy 12/17/14.  Benched until March.

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    My Ovulation Chart
  • Welcome. I am sorry for your loss.

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                ***TTCAL January siggy challenge ***
  • I'm sorry for your loss. Welcome

    4 Losses (2003, 2008, Apr 2012, & Oct 2012)
    All RPL and IF testing with multiple REs = normal

    5 IUIs = BFN

    All AL are welcome
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  • I'm sorry for your loss. Welcome to the board.
                          January Siggy Challenge: You had one job
     
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    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • I'm so sorry for your loss. Please don't be too hard on yourself. Your doctor is right - this was not your fault! Welcome to the board.
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Me: 31, DH: 30, Married July 2013
    TTC since March 2014
    BFP#1  5.17.14, EDD 1.26.15, MMC (measuring 6w3d at 8w3d), D&C 6.26.14
    BFP#2  9.19.14, EDD 5.29.15, AF on 9.23.14 CP
    BFP#3  12.17.14, EDD 8.25.15, AF on 12.21.14 CP#2

    Current plan: TTC while waiting for RPL results to come back
    Stalk my ute

  • I am so sorry for your loss, I feel your pain the thought that it was my fault goes through my head all the time too.
  • Thank you for all the kind words everyone. It is reassuring to know I'm not alone and feeling like this is normal. I truly appreciate the support.
    Married: 4/28/12
    BFP: 7/2/14 ;  1st US 7/21/14 Baby measuring 7w5d, HB of 138;  Discovered MMC 8/18/14 at 11w2d, baby measuring 8w5d, no hb ; 8/19/14 D&C
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    TTCAL December siggy challenge - Autocorrect Fails

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    | <a href="http://www.fertilityfriend.com" style="font-size:smaller;" >Ovulation Tracker</My Chart

  • I am so sorry for your loss. Please try to believe this was not your fault. I know it is easier said then done.
    Yelena + Rubere Married: 05/13/2011
    TTC since 2012
    BFP#1EDD: 06/21/2014  ~  TFMR --Holoprosencephaly 
    Said goodbye on 2/10/2014 at 21 weeks. We miss our baby girl "J"
    My Chart image
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
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  • I am so sorry for your loss. I too have felt the way you are feeling. It's not your fault. Unfortunately this happens, that's why this board exists. I hope you can find comfort and support here. Welcome to the board.
  • I'm very sorry for your loss.  There's a TTA (trying to avoid) check-in for those of us that aren't TTC at the moment if you'd like to join. 
    TTC #3 since 8/2012 image
    DX Endometriosis 2/2002 (lost left tube due to a cyst), PCOS
    6/2010
     BFP - 10/18/2012, EDD - 6/26/2013, Baby Girl lost at 22 weeks (T21), D&E 2/15/2013
    BFP - 4/23/2014, EDD - 1/2/2015 Twin Boys lost at 12 weeks, M/C 6/25/2014

    My chart here  All ALers welcome!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickersLilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    June 3Missing Our January Snowflake
  • I am so sorry for your loss.  Please know there was nothing you did.  I did the same thing but my doctor (as well as the doctor's of friends who have also gone through this) have assured me and us that there's nothing we did or didn't do.  Give yourself time to grieve and to heal.  Sending you lots of good vibes and thoughts and prayers.

    ***Siggy Warning - loss mentioned***

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    Pregnancy Ticker

    *S15 Siggy January Siggy Challenge - Happy Dance*

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    ME: 32   DH: 38

    BFP#1 - 7/18/14; EDD 3/23/14; MMC 8/11/14 (passed naturally on 8/17/14)

    BFP#2 - 12/29/14; EDD 9/10/15 *PLEASE BE OUR RAINBOW!*

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