WWSAIFD?

Eve_Angelique · August 2014

Alrighty this might be kinda long....but I am looking to see what you would have done in this instance. Kinda goes along with the hitting post below too...

So today we went to my aunt's house and my cousin was there with her LO who is 2 months younger than mine. They are both now 2. They were playing and her LO got up and my LO followed him and then pushed him. Her LO fell down - didn't get hurt or anything, but fell and started crying. I pulled my LO away right away and scolded him for pushing and told him that isn't nice and whatnot and put him in a chair for a time out. My cousin wasn't there but when she heard her son crying she said "Did T hit him?" and then we said no he pushed him down and scared him a bit is all. But she got immediately mad apparently and her sister brought her kid to her and she left. She didn't say goodbye to anyone or anything, she just packed up and left. I felt bad, but I know that my kid wasn't trying to be mean, but she was pissed. I sent her a message saying that I was sorry that things ended with a shove, and that I put T in a time out and whatnot and she said this "Yea we don't push or hit in out house. There is no reason to do that except to hurt someone, so obviously (her son) got scared. He isn't used to being hit and pushed."

Well duh. We don't do that in our house either! But do you think a 2 year-old is doing that to hurt someone?? No, I think my kid doesn't understand that concept quite yet and it wasn't malicious. No kid should be used to being hit and pushed, but that doesn't mean that my kid was trying to be mean. I am just feeling really odd about the whole situation because I think in instances like that when its been reversed I pick my kid up and tell him he is ok and we move on with life - especially if it was a kid the same age, now if it was like a 4 year-old who should know better that would be a different story. But am I wrong to be upset that she was seeming mad at me like we are bad parents or something that our kid would push?

If you made it *high five*!

luvboston · August 2014

Your not wrong at all she needs to get a grip.

ccam · August 2014

luvboston said:

Your not wrong at all she needs to get a grip.

Agreed. They're 2 and it's going to happen. Your cousin was not teaching your DS a lesson by picking up and leaving, the only one she's hurting is you.

phishgirl29 · August 2014

What a bitch. Sorry, but she needs to apologize to you. What she said was NOT cool. I'd be furious!

Eve_Angelique · August 2014

Thank you ladies! My husband and I pretty much think she is in the wrong here, and is definitely teaching her son to be crazy too. It makes me sad because we live close and I wish our kids could be friends, but I don't think she is ever going to let that happen.

TJ1979 · August 2014

Ducky719 said:

Unfortunately kids get physical sometimes bc they don't know how to express themselves. No one wants their kid to be pushed or hit but i def think her reaction was over the top. Had you not disciplined T, sure. Pack up your ish in a huff and leave. That obv was not the case so her reaction was wrong. The biggest issue i have w this is that she is implying that you get physical in your house. I would've gone postal w that.

Yes! Her actions were rude, and she's living in a dream world if she thinks 2 year olds don't get physical. She's also depriving her child of a learning opportunity.

itsmevkb · August 2014

I would totally blow this off. I'm assuming she doesn't have any other children or doesn't get out of the house much because kids will push, hit, even bite at that age and only a small portion of that is due to the parents. We have a strict no hitting, pushing, kicking, etc. rule in my house but that doesn't mean the kids never do those things. The biggest thing is that you immediately addressed it and in an age appropriate way. I could see her being angry if her child had been genuinely hurt, but even then, more angry at her child being hurt vs angry at your child for pushing if that makes sense.

The other night Sully was playing nicely in the den with Shannon and Quinn and Maren was out with me in the living room pushing around a little wooden cart. Next thing I know she's pushing it into the den and right into Sully's legs. Sully screams and starts wailing and me? I yell from the living room, "you're fine, calm down" and then I go to get Maren to put her on the stair for running the cart into him and there is blood pouring out of Sully's mouth. Ugh. I felt horrible for basically telling him to blow it off when he had really been hurt (he bit his lip when she hit him with the cart) but hey, that's the kind of mom I am. Unless something is broken let's not be drama queens about it.

**I'm editing this to say that when I say part of it is caused by the parents I'm speaking about parents of kids who never discipline them and so these issues grow and grow.

mcgeeva · August 2014

First off you handled it the way I would. Now if you didn't scold your lo I would think..okay this will keep happening and there is no action for bad behavior. Two..they are TWO! They push etc. They still have a lot to learn. They get frustrated when they can't communicate, a toy gets taken etc. The other mom has issues. To up and leave without a word is crazy. Fact of the matter...her kid will do it too!!

BabyKsMommy · August 2014

Just as all the other moms have said. They are two, this stuff happens. At newly 3 my ds is finally getting better about this kind of stuff. I hope she takes her kid to the park so she can see stuff happens with 2 yr olds.

kbeach82 · August 2014

TJ1979 said:

Ducky719 said:

Unfortunately kids get physical sometimes bc they don't know how to express themselves. No one wants their kid to be pushed or hit but i def think her reaction was over the top. Had you not disciplined T, sure. Pack up your ish in a huff and leave. That obv was not the case so her reaction was wrong. The biggest issue i have w this is that she is implying that you get physical in your house. I would've gone postal w that.

Yes! Her actions were rude, and she's living in a dream world if she thinks 2 year olds don't get physical. She's also depriving her child of a learning opportunity.

All of this. Does she intend to raise her child in a bubble to keep all of the "meanies" away? Kids will be kids. It is up to us, as parents, to teach them right from wrong and respond appropriately (as you did) if they show aggression toward another child, etc. If she honestly believes, for even a second, that her perfect little angel will never be on the other side of the equation, she is in for a rude awakening. Sometimes by children get pushed, and sometimes they do the pushing. We deal with the situation, remind them that hitting/pushing/biting, etc. is never ok, and move on.

mdiblasi10 · August 2014

Wow. She is either overly sensitive or has never been anywhere with other children. It happens to everyone at some point and you definitely did everything right. I cannot believe she just left and then responded that way. Very childish and immature. I am so sorry you had to deal with that.

Maybe you can send her a few articles or books about normal toddler behaviors in response to her message?

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