Dealing with anxiety?

Hollowvic · August 2014

So we found out last night that we got denied for financing for our IVF. We are totally shocked. We do have enough in our savings for one cycle but it would be every penny we have. I was laid off this week so at the moment I have no income. My H wants to wait a few months and save money. I'm worried because of my age, also I'm terrified of the entire IVF process and really want it over with. If it doesn't work, we won't have any money to try again. All that being said, I had a massive anxiety attack this morning. I felt like I was having a heart attack, almost went to the ER. It was awful. I'm stressed to the max. How do you deal with stress and anxiety? I took a Xanax this morning and it helped, but I don't like to take it often, only on really bad days. I exercise but it doesn't seem to help. In the meantime does anyone think I have any chance of conceiving with MFI? Anything we can do to try to help improve his motility and morph? Today was a rough one. Looking for some hope.

jencity9 · August 2014

Probably one of the best ways to deal with the anxiety would be to see a therapist if you have any coverage for it. Maybe also join a local Resolve support group to help talk about these issues in person? Definitely focus on deep breathing or diaphragmatic breathing (breathe in through nose and focus on bringing the air into your stomach/abdominal area rather than your chest by pushing your stomach out when you breathe in), hold for a second or so and then breathe out slowly. Can you go for a walk or so something physical? Also maybe try an activity that is repetitive, keeps your hands busy, and your mind focused like doodling... Some type of craft... (Tetris on the iPhone is so strangely meditative for me LOL). Do some
Writing like journaling or write down the problems and worries and then focus on coming up with various solutions or ideas to each part of the problem and create some type of an action plan.

I'm really sorry you're dealing with such anxiety. IVF has literally been the most anxiety inducing thing I've experienced. As a therapist myself, I feel like it gave me good insight into what some of my clients feel because I was always crying and having major physical symptoms of anxiety, more so than ever before. So keep in mind that what you're feeling is normal and it is a matter of slowing down and reorganizing some of the information in your head including your feelings. Maybe give yourself an amount of time to focus on you before tackling the problem.. Like maybe a week?

I hope some of this helps!

BunnyBerry · August 2014

I'm so sorry, what a blow! Such a hard decision. I'm so, so sorry for the tough spot you're in right now. No one wants to spend their last penny right before they bring a new person into the family, but then no one wants to wait longer when the biological clock is ticking!

I don't have very good advice for dealing with anxiety. I tend not to get it and then when I do, I just have to ride it out because my coping mechanisms aren't great. I tend to want to be alone and just do something mindless and/or creative. ??

Are there any other sources of funding for this IVF? Do you or YH have parents or family members who might be willing to help out since it's so important at this time, or is there an older relative who might be willing to let you take part of your "inheritance" early? (That's how my cousin paid for her wedding). Do you own a home and have any equity? Does your RE offer payment plans?

Sorry if that is just rubbing in salt if none of the above are options!...I'm praying for you to have peace and that both of you have wisdom in making these tough decisions.

Hollowvic · August 2014

Thank you for all the advice. I do see a therapist weekly, have been for over a year. Idk what I would do without my therapist. I've always struggled with anxiety and depression at points in my life, but this is by far the worst it's ever been. I've only had a few anxiety attacks in the past but this was by far the worst one ever, I actually canceled all my plans for the day and didn't leave the house, I'm so overwhelmed.

Champs28 · August 2014

I'm going to second the therapy idea if you have coverage. Cognitive behavioral therapy is extremely effective at tearing anxiety. And having an emergency Xanax on hand never hurts for me!

Hollowvic · August 2014

Child mentioned Thank you again for all of the words of wisdom and advice. Hoping today is a better day. We go for the IVF consult tomorrow, I'm supposed to get bloodwork in the morning and star BCPs tomorrow night. Between all that and now trying to figure out how to pay for it has totally overwhelmed me. I had an argument with my mother on Wednesday, the toddler upstairs has been waking us up in the middle of the night, not to mention I got laid off this past week. I'm just going through such a rough time. Seriously I could go on......

DharmaChick · August 2014

I am so sorry that you are going through all of this. I am glad to hear that you have a therapist. (That is something I really need to do myself.) I hope that getting some info at the consult tomorrow will help you a bit. For me, I know that too many "unknowns" cause a lot of extra anxiety, and having as much information as possible helps a bit to feel more in control.

I have had issues with anxiety and depression at many points in my life. While I don't have a miracle cure, and I am terrible about seeking help, one thing that consistently helps me to reduce both is exercise - both cardio and yoga. Also, having some sort of project that will have a positive outcome helps to feel in control of something and gain a feeling of success.

I really hope that things start looking up for you soon!

Tiko99 · August 2014

What a stressful time! I'm so sorry you are going through this. Panic attacks are the worst! I remember the first one I had also felt like a heart attack and I felt my chest was sore the next day from all the tension. To be honest I take Xanax XR (extended release) nightly. I believe anxiety can be calmed using exercise, meditation, drinking tea for some people, but mine needs to be controlled with drugs. If you are taking regular Xanax ask for the extended release it may help prevent panic attacks and control your anxiety better since the drug is in your system all day. I stop taking it for a week every few months to make sure I'm not becoming addicted to it and so far have had no real issues stopping it (some insomnia and dry eyes). Good luck and take care of yourself.

Hollowvic · August 2014

Ugh, that's exactly what it felt like, a heart attack!!! It was the worst feeling. I have a bottle of Xanax on hand but only take them when I'm really having a bad day. I went for a long walk this afternoon and that helped. It's good to know, I'm not the only one, I'm starting to feel like a mental case.

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