Is it time for her to go home yet?

NatureLovers · August 2014

I feel bad for complaining, because it was very nice of her to come down to help us out, and she has been very helpful, but I'm kind of ready for my MIL to be gone. I just don't do well with constant company. She just doesn't have the same sort of boundaries that I do, like she tried to come in the bathroom while my hubby was peeing, she walked around wearing just a t-shirt and panties, just a towel after showering, and she pees with the door open. TMI!!

No matter how much I explain, she does not get what it's like dealing with HG. She heard me up between 4am-7am this morning vomiting. I haven't been able to eat, and she asked me if I wanted enchiladas. I nearly threw up at the thought.

My H was having some post surgical complications, including a fever of 101.15. She told me not to call the doctor because "101.1 isn't really a fever, and they'll want to see him just to cover themselves from a lawsuit." I finally snapped at her that this was not up for a discussion, that if his doctor wanted to see him, he was going to go, end of story. I'll let her come visit after the baby, but only once I'm feeling fairly recovered. I don't want to be in a weakened condition with her trying to brush off any possible health care that me or the baby might need. I prefer just letting my hubby take care of me anyway.

peggels24 · August 2014

Argh! When does she go home?

NatureLovers · August 2014

She's supposed to be here for 3 weeks.

peggels24 · August 2014

Good luck!!!

southernyankeegirl · August 2014

Three WEEKS?!!!

My Dad has a phrase he loves to repeat - "Houseguests are like fish - they start to stink after about 3 or 4 days."

Sorry, dude, that's brutal. I wouldn't want ANYONE here for that long!

In theory, I want to embrace my in-laws as much as I embrace my own family, and am all about fairness. But it's really, really hard when my parents are easy guests we enjoy spending time with, and DH's parents are both (divorced) needy guests who require a lot of work and energy on our part as hosts. It is going to make things a bit unbalanced for a bit after our baby gets here, because for the first few weeks, I can't be taking care of my in-laws (who aren't easy guests) and could really use the help from my parents (they're the type to go grocery shopping for us, cook meals, do laundry, not care if I nap, etc.)

Can your DH occupy her? Set some boundaries (like bathroom & clothes, geez!)?

Maebb · August 2014

What does your H think about it? I agree that she either needs a firm talk from your H about boundaries, or maybe he needs to talk to her about going home.

Tauristar · August 2014

I've been there! It's hard because you don't want to be ungrateful for the help. I say drop not so subtle hints. Offer up pajama pants, give her a list of what you can eat, lock doors ect. Get rest when you can, leave her on her own and don't feel bad giving her specific tasks too. She'll get the hint.

My dad came to take care of me when my HG was really bad, he made me chicken soup, I was so excited for the broth...it burned, I was so surprised to find he added jalapeños? I cried while I barfed for hours. He got the message that it was bland or nothing, despite what I liked before I was preggo.

luciddreamer106 · August 2014

That's awful. Maybe your husband can talk to her about setting some boundaries.

NatureLovers · August 2014

I don't want to put my H in that position, he's having kind of a brutal recovery from his surgery, poor thing. She may end up going home early because she's having some trouble with her leg and her insurance might not work in this state. She has been very helpful in terms of cooking/cleaning/laundry. She's just very....free? She has a major distrust of doctors and hospitals which I find annoying, but whatev.

NatureLovers · August 2014

And yeah, 3 weeks is way long. I was not consulted on that part.

BookitBoo · August 2014

Ugh that sucks. Did she JUST get there, or are you (hopefully) part way through the three weeks?

Good luck, and I hope your honey is feeling better and recovers quickly!

NatureLovers · August 2014

She got here last Wednesday, so it hasn't been a week yet. I really do feel bad complaining! I guess I just have a hard time with houseguests. I want to lay around naked all day and do nothing without feeling guilty about it.

literarymuse · August 2014

Ugh...so sorry you're dealing with this! I know you don't want to put pressure on your husband, but maybe you could just talk to him about what you're feeling and experiencing.

elleswarth · August 2014

I guess the only plus to this is that you realize that she sucks as a house guest now instead of after the baby is born!!

NatureLovers · August 2014

elleswarth said:
I guess the only plus to this is that you realize that she sucks as a house guest now instead of after the baby is born!!

I was very glad to have this opportunity!

Although to be fair, I think I'd be annoyed by anyone for this long of a visit.

kc192 · August 2014

LOL!! Sorry, I had to laugh... she sounds JUST like my MIL!!! Can be incredibly helpful but has no boundaries and drives me insane after a day or two. Once when she was over she found out that my OB was concerned that I was a little dehydrated and and she would pound on the bathroom door WHILE I was peeing and ask what color my pee was... And the only reason she was pounding on the door is because I locked her out.

When I was in labor with my first she was in the waiting room and I started feeling bad because my parents were allowed in the delivery room. I was just laying comfortably with an epidural chatting with my parents so I decided to let her in. Minutes after she came in the nurse rushed in to check the machines because my blood pressure apparently had a sudden increase...

I'm sorry you have to deal with her for so much longer!! Hoping you can grin and bear it for just 2 more weeks!

NatureLovers · August 2014

kc192 said:
LOL!! Sorry, I had to laugh... she sounds JUST like my MIL!!! Can be incredibly helpful but has no boundaries and drives me insane after a day or two. Once when she was over she found out that my OB was concerned that I was a little dehydrated and and she would pound on the bathroom door WHILE I was peeing and ask what color my pee was... And the only reason she was pounding on the door is because I locked her out.

When I was in labor with my first she was in the waiting room and I started feeling bad because my parents were allowed in the delivery room. I was just laying comfortably with an epidural chatting with my parents so I decided to let her in. Minutes after she came in the nurse rushed in to check the machines because my blood pressure apparently had a sudden increase...

I'm sorry you have to deal with her for so much longer!! Hoping you can grin and bear it for just 2 more weeks!

At least yours is concerned! Mine would tell me to ignore all medical advice. I was horrified with her earlier, she got all up in my H's business about whether or not he had gone #2. She asked him about consistency, what it looked like, etc. She applauded when she heard the toilet flush. I wanted to die. She can be SO inappropriate!

Bigboneded · August 2014

NatureLovers said:

kc192 said:
LOL!! Sorry, I had to laugh... she sounds JUST like my MIL!!! Can be incredibly helpful but has no boundaries and drives me insane after a day or two. Once when she was over she found out that my OB was concerned that I was a little dehydrated and and she would pound on the bathroom door WHILE I was peeing and ask what color my pee was... And the only reason she was pounding on the door is because I locked her out.

When I was in labor with my first she was in the waiting room and I started feeling bad because my parents were allowed in the delivery room. I was just laying comfortably with an epidural chatting with my parents so I decided to let her in. Minutes after she came in the nurse rushed in to check the machines because my blood pressure apparently had a sudden increase...

I'm sorry you have to deal with her for so much longer!! Hoping you can grin and bear it for just 2 more weeks!
At least yours is concerned! Mine would tell me to ignore all medical advice. I was horrified with her earlier, she got all up in my H's business about whether or not he had gone #2. She asked him about consistency, what it looked like, etc. She applauded when she heard the toilet flush. I wanted to die. She can be SO inappropriate!

Sorry about this... I had to laugh though, because I do this daily (as a nurse) asking about last BM, too hard/soft? And have been known to do a clap and get excited for positive results, esp after a few days post op! Ummm never in tshirt and panties though.
I hope she goes home soon- "stay home with a postop temp over 101" is terrible advice!!!!

NatureLovers · August 2014

@Bigboneded‌ right?! On what planet is a post-op fever not something that needs to be addressed? He had spinal surgery for God's sake, it was extensive enough to take 3 hours. Thankfully he doesn't have an infection.

Stargirlb · August 2014

Oh no! Sounds like you have ME staying with you! I am a door open peer (just a matter of time before my kids get annoyed...) and walk around in just towels. Or worse, topless! My mom is living with us right and her lack of boundaries annoy me (like her crop tops which I got her to throw out, WIN!) even though I'm obvs an irrational hypocrite here. Lol

CanukMam · August 2014

I'm an open door peer too BUT I would never do it with guests

Stargirlb · August 2014

Not with guests, but it's her son and his wife... So I can't say for sure what I would do. Bahaha

summererobinson · August 2014

My mother is the one who is like this. She will walk around with her butt out no isses. and shes saying insane things. I have learned to dela but i would kill her after 3 weeks

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