Check ins are one of the things I will miss about TTCAL. What check ins are you interested in? What check ins are you willing to lead? I'd love to be part of a healthy living/fitness check in, and AL check in, and prayer circle.
I'd like a check in that focuses on our existing children, so that every post isn't about struggles with getting pregnant. Not sure what to call it though. Any suggestions?
I kind of like this one. Maybe doing check-ins based on age groups so that we can commiserate with each other over similar issues currently.
I'd like a check in that focuses on our existing children, so that every post isn't about struggles with getting pregnant. Not sure what to call it though. Any suggestions?
I would love check-ins for various aged children. For example: "Elementary School Aged Children", "Preschool aged children", "Toddler check-in", "Infant check-in", etc.
I'd like a check in that focuses on our existing children, so that every post isn't about struggles with getting pregnant. Not sure what to call it though. Any suggestions?
I kind of like this one. Maybe doing check-ins based on age groups so that we can commiserate with each other over similar issues currently.
All those dealing with the Terrible Twos, come on over here. I have wine. So much wine.
Why? Because you have a child, or some other reason? @cherylanddoug
I'll try not to write a book here. And try not to be offensive.
For one, I read the blog and followed the rules, then I was basically passive aggressively called out about having DS in my siggy. I mentioned it in my intro that I hoped it was ok for him to be there. No one said anything, no one pm'd me about it, and no mod said anything about it. In fact another bumpie emailed me about how she had a similar loss and seeing my siggy gave her hope. The "rules" seemed to be arbitrary changed in the post, rather than addressing the few people who were, as far as I can tell, unintentionally hurting/offending the ladies who had a problem with a LO being referred to.
Having a child profoundly changes your life. Not being able to refer in any way shape or form having a LO is nearly impossible, avoid it sure I can do that for the sake of others. Not only that but it add more dimension to the loss. How do I help my child understand? The pain of seeing my son and his friend who has a little brother knowing J should have a little sibling too and wondering what their relationship would be. Loss mamas can have living children too and it does matter.
Why? Because you have a child, or some other reason? @cherylanddoug
I'll try not to write a book here. And try not to be offensive.
For one, I read the blog and followed the rules, then I was basically passive aggressively called out about having DS in my siggy. I mentioned it in my intro that I hoped it was ok for him to be there. No one said anything, no one pm'd me about it, and no mod said anything about it. In fact another bumpie emailed me about how she had a similar loss and seeing my siggy gave her hope. The "rules" seemed to be arbitrary changed in the post, rather than addressing the few people who were, as far as I can tell, unintentionally hurting/offending the ladies who had a problem with a LO being referred to.
Having a child profoundly changes your life. Not being able to refer in any way shape or form having a LO is nearly impossible, avoid it sure I can do that for the sake of others. Not only that but it add more dimension to the loss. How do I help my child understand? The pain of seeing my son and his friend who has a little brother knowing J should have a little sibling too and wondering what their relationship would be. Loss mamas can have living children too and it does matter.
Well, I'll give my two cents and then I'll drop it: TTCAL is for everyone who has a loss regardless of where they are during that journey. The majority of
posters don't have kids, some never will. So talking about your
children, while it might help you in that moment, it hurts many more. The board decided that those conversations are better had off TTCAL, and I totally agree. I was on that board before my son was born, and hearing about kids killed me. Seeing a siggy pic like yours would have made me cry some days. That rule isn't there to hurt you, it's there to protect others, as are all the rules established on that board. I don't think implying that they don't think children matter though is accurate at all.
That said, your voice was obviously heard and this board was established. If you don't think you can differentiate your conversations between the two boards post here only. But I don't think people should feel like they have to pick a board.
And I had no intentions to have conversations about my son, but he's 90% of what I do in the summer-so to talk about what I did that day/plans would be nearly impossible which would make it hard for anyone to get to know me. I followed the rules from the blog. During my first go round in TTCAL, there were plenty of women with pics of their LOs in their siggies. The board has changed and that's fine--but the blog should be changed to say don't have a pic of a LO of any age in your siggy and don't refer to them, pretend they don't exist while you are on this board. Anyone could have PM'd me or commented on my intro about my siggy. But no one did. Instead it was some passive aggressive call out. I just think that was handled badly.
Anyway it is pushing hurt women (not just me) away and I think that is sad.
Andplusalso we've been looking at roaches crawling out of someone's buttcrack in siggies....
Why? Because you have a child, or some other reason? @cherylanddoug
I'll try not to write a book here. And try not to be offensive.
For one, I read the blog and followed the rules, then I was basically passive aggressively called out about having DS in my siggy. I mentioned it in my intro that I hoped it was ok for him to be there. No one said anything, no one pm'd me about it, and no mod said anything about it. In fact another bumpie emailed me about how she had a similar loss and seeing my siggy gave her hope. The "rules" seemed to be arbitrary changed in the post, rather than addressing the few people who were, as far as I can tell, unintentionally hurting/offending the ladies who had a problem with a LO being referred to.
Having a child profoundly changes your life. Not being able to refer in any way shape or form having a LO is nearly impossible, avoid it sure I can do that for the sake of others. Not only that but it add more dimension to the loss. How do I help my child understand? The pain of seeing my son and his friend who has a little brother knowing J should have a little sibling too and wondering what their relationship would be. Loss mamas can have living children too and it does matter.
Well, I'll give my two cents and then I'll drop it: TTCAL is for everyone who has a loss regardless of where they are during that journey. The majority of
posters don't have kids, some never will. So talking about your
children, while it might help you in that moment, it hurts many more. The board decided that those conversations are better had off TTCAL, and I totally agree. I was on that board before my son was born, and hearing about kids killed me. Seeing a siggy pic like yours would have made me cry some days. That rule isn't there to hurt you, it's there to protect others, as are all the rules established on that board. I don't think implying that they don't think children matter though is accurate at all.
That said, your voice was obviously heard and this board was established. If you don't think you can differentiate your conversations between the two boards post here only. But I don't think people should feel like they have to pick a board.
And I had no intentions to have conversations about my son, but he's 90% of what I do in the summer-so to talk about what I did that day/plans would be nearly impossible which would make it hard for anyone to get to know me. I followed the rules from the blog. During my first go round in TTCAL, there were plenty of women with pics of their LOs in their siggies. The board has changed and that's fine--but the blog should be changed to say don't have a pic of a LO of any age in your siggy and don't refer to them, pretend they don't exist while you are on this board. Anyone could have PM'd me or commented on my intro about my siggy. But no one did. Instead it was some passive aggressive call out. I just think that was handled badly.
Anyway it is pushing hurt women (not just me) away and I think that is sad.
Andplusalso we've been looking at roaches crawling out of someone's buttcrack in siggies....
@sterling13 thank you for saying this much nicer/better than I could have.
Cheryl, I guess in a way I can understand your position, but I do not agree with it.
I joined that board two and a half years ago, both my boys were already born. I quickly learned that this was a board of women in various stages of grieving, and various life stages.
I never thought to put a picture of my boys in for a couple of reasons. One was internet safety. The biggest one though? I didn''t want a picture of my children to hurt any of the women on that board. Did it bother me? Absolutely not. I get to see my kids everyday, I don't have to have a picture of them on an internet forum, especially if it could hurt someone. It does not diminish the fact that I ahve them, or that I am somehow minimizing their existence.
If having that picture in your signature is that important, then of course you should keep it. But maybe in the keeping of it, then that board may not be the place for you, and this one is.
/mlal steps down from soapbox.
ETA: I did not ask the question to cause a fight or a debate, I was just honestly curious. I was also mobile at the time so could not see your sig, or I might have guessed the issue.
ETA because I just read the bolded. I have been there for over two years. I am a sahm. I have been able to talk about my day without mentioning kids. "I went to a movie" vs I took my ds to a movie, not hard. No one asked you to pretend your kid does not exist. FFS
The blog says please no pic of newborns or toddler. Your kid is a toddler.
This is what the blog says about the appropriate age for children in siggies. I copied and pasted.
"Most agree that a picture of a toddler aged child or older is completely fine, but pictures of your older child while they are still a baby can be very hard to see to other TTCALers." My profile picture used to be a funny pic of my son as a newborn and I removed it because of this.
I'm not trying to further the argument. I think its fine to agree to disagree, but I made every effort to follow the rules. If the blog rules are not accurate, it needs to be changed.
Also my son is 3 which I consider to be a preschooler, but those lines might be a little hazy, but according to the blog even a toddler is fine.
To me it definitely seemed implied by the mod that LCs should not be mentioned on the board judging by these two statements she posted in the line item thread.
"There are appropriate venues to discuss the unique concerns of TTCALing with living children. In the company of women who would give anything to be in your shoes is not one of them. Be polite, FFS."
"This is about a trend from a community of women who intuitively understand that not every topic is acceptable in a mixed use loss support group, to a higher and higher percentage of women who need to be told this astonishing fact. I am all about women hitching up their BGPs up to their tits and soldiering on, but when you go to the home page of your support group and see 5-7 LC warnings flashing at you, that's asking too much."
Perhaps I misinterpreted, but I am sure I am not the only one who read it that way. Before this was posted I actually intentionally only replied on check ins mostly because that way there would not be all these **LC Warnings** on the board home page
And I am here because it is that important for me to keep him in my siggy.
Wow:( so sad to see ttcal has amounted to that:( 6 yrs ago when I joined, the board had just been started. I am STILL friends with some people on had met on there and a few if them had small children, and posted them in their siggies. Its sad to think I could have never met them with the current rules in place. I for one, was not offended by it and it was never mentioned as a offense while I was there either. The truth of the matter is a loss happens at all points in time and its saddening to see that some loss mommas with children do not feel comfortable posting someplace that gave me so much support in my time of need i get that it can be hurtful (shoot, the mear mention of a pregnant woman would put me into tears) but they/we should all support each other irregaurdless of previous children or their ages. Avoid saying day to day life with a child, sure, Telling somebody that a picture of their toddler is not welcome is ubsurd! I am so sorry if anybody felt that way.
m/c April '08 DD#1 born June '09 DD#2 born April '11 TTC #3 as of July '14
Wow:( so sad to see ttcal has amounted to that:( 6 yrs ago when I joined, the board had just been started. I am STILL friends with some people on had met on there and a few if them had small children, and posted them in their siggies. Its sad to think I could have never met them with the current rules in place. I for one, was not offended by it and it was never mentioned as a offense while I was there either. The truth of the matter is a loss happens at all points in time and its saddening to see that some loss mommas with children do not feel comfortable posting someplace that gave me so much support in my time of need i get that it can be hurtful (shoot, the mear mention of a pregnant woman would put me into tears) but they/we should all support each other irregaurdless of previous children or their ages. Avoid saying day to day life with a child, sure, Telling somebody that a picture of their toddler is not welcome is ubsurd! I am so sorry if anybody felt that way.
I had a very similar experience to you when I was on TTCAL with my first loss. I am still friends with about 30 women who were on there with me. There must have been a shift in culture sometime I'm guessing around 2012. Thanks for sharing your perspective.
I think it is a shame some do not feel welcome on TTCAL. Loss is still so taboo in our society, we all need to support each other. Not attack each other or bring each other down. I will say I see both sides. When I was on TTCAL the first time before DD I would almost roll my eyes at the women who posted about LC or intro'ed saying they had a LC. I would think, well at least they already have one. I was in such a dark place, thinking I would never get my rainbow. How was I to know the future? Being on the other side of that now I know that wasn't right. A loss is a loss and it hurts no matter what. Having a LO with you can sometimes make that pain worse. You know what you are missing. You have to keep it together when you just feel like crumbling. Either way it just sucks. I choose to not have pics of DD or mention her (besides from in my intro months ago) since I remember how much it hurt the first time around and I don't want to possibly hurt anyone. Hope this board is a better fit for you.
@cherylanddoug - I'm not really sure why you feel like you were attacked. I can't find any response to your intro that was aggressive and no one was singled out in the thread about the change to the Read this First. Maybe I'm completely missing something, as I didn't have long to search. You are correct that the community has changed since the blog was written and pics of toddlers are no longer accepted. This should be updated and you certainly didn't break any of the rules. I think the problem here is that your reply in the Read this First change thread was frankly, very rude.
My boys are a huge part of my life too, but I do not mention them at all on TTCAL to conserve the feelings of others. Some ladies over there might have 3 year old boys if things were different, so seeing your son makes them wonder what their child might look like right now. My daughter would be 1 and if you're pic was of a girl, that would start me thinking about my baby girl and what she might look like.
Now, over here, I expect to see pics of kids. So, if I'm having a rough day, I won't come on this board to avoid that. But, TTCAL is a safe place (for some women it's their ONLY safe place) for ALL that have lost children, which is why pics of children and talking about children are discouraged. Now, maybe when some of you were on TTCAL before there were more women with living children than without so pics and conversation were more accepted, but I bet that seeing your LOs or hearing about your kids hurt other women then too. The board is just more aware of this situation now and is trying to protect everyone's feelings.
I've been on TTCAL for over a year now (with some time spent on PGAL) and I can tell you that not once have I ever felt unwelcome there because I had kids. I just leave them out of the conversation and I can still get my point across and talk about my life without mentioning them. Anyone that wishes to do the same is more than welcome over there. If you are unable to do that, then the best place for you is somewhere else.
TTC #3 since 8/2012 DX Endometriosis 2/2002 (lost left tube due to a cyst), PCOS 6/2010 BFP - 10/18/2012, EDD - 6/26/2013, Baby Girl lost at 22 weeks (T21), D&E 2/15/2013 BFP - 4/23/2014, EDD - 1/2/2015 Twin Boys lost at 12 weeks, M/C 6/25/2014 My charthereAll ALers welcome!
Why? Because you have a child, or some other reason? @cherylanddoug
I'll try not to write a book here. And try not to be offensive.
For one, I read the blog and followed the rules, then I was basically passive aggressively called out about having DS in my siggy. I mentioned it in my intro that I hoped it was ok for him to be there. No one said anything, no one pm'd me about it, and no mod said anything about it. In fact another bumpie emailed me about how she had a similar loss and seeing my siggy gave her hope. The "rules" seemed to be arbitrary changed in the post, rather than addressing the few people who were, as far as I can tell, unintentionally hurting/offending the ladies who had a problem with a LO being referred to.
Having a child profoundly changes your life. Not being able to refer in any way shape or form having a LO is nearly impossible, avoid it sure I can do that for the sake of others. Not only that but it add more dimension to the loss. How do I help my child understand? The pain of seeing my son and his friend who has a little brother knowing J should have a little sibling too and wondering what their relationship would be. Loss mamas can have living children too and it does matter.
Well, I'll give my two cents and then I'll drop it: TTCAL is for everyone who has a loss regardless of where they are during that journey. The majority of posters don't have kids, some never will. So talking about your children, while it might help you in that moment, it hurts many more. The board decided that those conversations are better had off TTCAL, and I totally agree. I was on that board before my son was born, and hearing about kids killed me. Seeing a siggy pic like yours would have made me cry some days. That rule isn't there to hurt you, it's there to protect others, as are all the rules established on that board. I don't think implying that they don't think children matter though is accurate at all.
That said, your voice was obviously heard and this board was established. If you don't think you can differentiate your conversations between the two boards post here only. But I don't think people should feel like they have to pick a board.
And I had no intentions to have conversations about my son, but he's 90% of what I do in the summer-so to talk about what I did that day/plans would be nearly impossible which would make it hard for anyone to get to know me. I followed the rules from the blog. During my first go round in TTCAL, there were plenty of women with pics of their LOs in their siggies. The board has changed and that's fine--but the blog should be changed to say don't have a pic of a LO of any age in your siggy and don't refer to them, pretend they don't exist while you are on this board. Anyone could have PM'd me or commented on my intro about my siggy. But no one did. Instead it was some passive aggressive call out. I just think that was handled badly.
Anyway it is pushing hurt women (not just me) away and I think that is sad.
Andplusalso we've been looking at roaches crawling out of someone's buttcrack in siggies....
@sterling13 thank you for saying this much nicer/better than I could have.
Cheryl, I guess in a way I can understand your position, but I do not agree with it.
I joined that board two and a half years ago, both my boys were already born. I quickly learned that this was a board of women in various stages of grieving, and various life stages.
I never thought to put a picture of my boys in for a couple of reasons. One was internet safety. The biggest one though? I didn''t want a picture of my children to hurt any of the women on that board. Did it bother me? Absolutely not. I get to see my kids everyday, I don't have to have a picture of them on an internet forum, especially if it could hurt someone. It does not diminish the fact that I ahve them, or that I am somehow minimizing their existence.
If having that picture in your signature is that important, then of course you should keep it. But maybe in the keeping of it, then that board may not be the place for you, and this one is.
/mlal steps down from soapbox.
ETA: I did not ask the question to cause a fight or a debate, I was just honestly curious. I was also mobile at the time so could not see your sig, or I might have guessed the issue.
ETA because I just read the bolded. I have been there for over two years. I am a sahm. I have been able to talk about my day without mentioning kids. "I went to a movie" vs I took my ds to a movie, not hard. No one asked you to pretend your kid does not exist. FFS
The blog says please no pic of newborns or toddler. Your kid is a toddler.
This is what the blog says about the appropriate age for children in siggies. I copied and pasted.
"Most agree that a picture of a toddler aged child or older is completely fine, but pictures of your older child while they are still a baby can be very hard to see to other TTCALers." My profile picture used to be a funny pic of my son as a newborn and I removed it because of this.
I'm not trying to further the argument. I think its fine to agree to disagree, but I made every effort to follow the rules. If the blog rules are not accurate, it needs to be changed.
Also my son is 3 which I consider to be a preschooler, but those lines might be a little hazy, but according to the blog even a toddler is fine.
To me it definitely seemed implied by the mod that LCs should not be mentioned on the board judging by these two statements she posted in the line item thread.
"There are appropriate venues to discuss the unique concerns of TTCALing with living children. In the company of women who would give anything to be in your shoes is not one of them. Be polite, FFS."
"This is about a trend from a community of women who intuitively understand that not every topic is acceptable in a mixed use loss support group, to a higher and higher percentage of women who need to be told this astonishing fact. I am all about women hitching up their BGPs up to their tits and soldiering on, but when you go to the home page of your support group and see 5-7 LC warnings flashing at you, that's asking too much."
Perhaps I misinterpreted, but I am sure I am not the only one who read it that way. Before this was posted I actually intentionally only replied on check ins mostly because that way there would not be all these **LC Warnings** on the board home page
And I am here because it is that important for me to keep him in my siggy.
I can't help but jump in.... the pic in your sig... if I reverse google image search I can track you to your house, an actual image of your house and address (so in short right now I know your address, how much you pay in property taxes, your etsy business, and I was only looking for about 2 minutes)... if I am an internet creep who knows what could happen. So you are not only being selfish and inconsiderate but putting the little boy you love so much at risk. The worst part is you call yourself a Christian.
quote fail
Thats creepy! I didn't even know that you could search for a picture. How DO you do that?
m/c April '08 DD#1 born June '09 DD#2 born April '11 TTC #3 as of July '14
sarcaztic10 already said previously she'd want to participate and/or lead an AL check-in, which considering this board, is what our current check-in is essentially.
Personally, I took over the check-in from @BookishMomma when her work and home life got busy, but I don't want to hold someone else back if they would want to spear-head an AL check-in here. I don't know how quickly check-ins typically start on new boards, but I think given the climate around here, and the feedback from the TTCARS check-in, I was going to start a check in for next week, and once we see who is there we can decide who wants to be the check-in leader, unless someone claims it first.
Guys please stop quoting 77 paragraph long posts. It makes mobile bumping nearly impossible.
Also, I don't think it's outrageous at all that the TTCAL board doesn't want to talk about living children all the time. Seems completely reasonable. If you feel it's unreasonable, then it's definitely not the board for you.
Also, this board is shiny-brand-new, and I think forcing a "culture" or trying to establish all these guidelines is a terrible idea. Frankly, it's what turns a lot of people off from some of the other specialty boards. There are too many "rules", or there is too much focused talk on one single subject.
Just let it develop over time. It's more welcoming that way. I hate shit about "you can't post that here" or "we've already answered that question 100 times". No. That's awful and shouldn't be that this board is about.
Finally, hi, I'm Hilarity. I have a 2.5 yo DS and we've been TTC Baby 2.0 for quite some time now. I'm in the middle of PCOS testing and will be seeing an RE at the end of next month. Oh heyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.
Bitch be laughin in the face of our intro thread. @HilarityEnsued is all like "I do what I want. Rules are awful. Whatcha wanna do about it?"
Welcome, Hilarity. I'm CheesyPeas. Good luck at the RE!
November 2010 - 10.5 week loss October2011 - DS (7) July 2014 - Stillborn DD (24 weeks) August 2015- DD (3) April 2018 - 5 week loss
@cherylanddoug Sorry my siggy pic is bothering you. The challenge was WTF tattoos- this sure made me say "WTF!". I'd say most of them are pretty gross/shocking...that was the point. But sadly you can't escape it on this board because....
**********LC Mentioned************
I have 2 sons- age 3 and 18 months. You know people can see what you post even if it's on a different board, right? You're not making many friends...
DS1 born 4/17/11 DS2 born 2/22/13 MMC 5/16/14@8w2d DD due 5/9/15 Please be ourRAINBOW
Re: What check ins are you interested in?
BFP #1 7/6/2012, EDD 3/13/2013, Delivered 3/14/2013
BFP #2 1/7/2014: EDD:9/14 MC: 1/9/2014 (confirmed via blood work)
BFP #3 7/5/2014: EDD 3/11/2015 MC: 7/15/2014
BFP #4 11/7/2014: EDD 7/17/2015~~Please be my RAINBOW!
My Chart
All are Welcome!
Having a child profoundly changes your life. Not being able to refer in any way shape or form having a LO is nearly impossible, avoid it sure I can do that for the sake of others. Not only that but it add more dimension to the loss. How do I help my child understand? The pain of seeing my son and his friend who has a little brother knowing J should have a little sibling too and wondering what their relationship would be. Loss mamas can have living children too and it does matter.
Anyway it is pushing hurt women (not just me) away and I think that is sad.
"Most agree that a picture of a toddler aged child or older is completely fine, but pictures of your older child while they are still a baby can be very hard to see to other TTCALers." My profile picture used to be a funny pic of my son as a newborn and I removed it because of this.
I'm not trying to further the argument. I think its fine to agree to disagree, but I made every effort to follow the rules. If the blog rules are not accurate, it needs to be changed.
"There are appropriate venues to discuss the unique concerns of TTCALing with living children. In the company of women who would give anything to be in your shoes is not one of them. Be polite, FFS."
"This is about a trend from a community of women who intuitively understand that not every topic is acceptable in a mixed use loss support group, to a higher and higher percentage of women who need to be told this astonishing fact. I am all about women hitching up their BGPs up to their tits and soldiering on, but when you go to the home page of your support group and see 5-7 LC warnings flashing at you, that's asking too much."
DD#1 born June '09
DD#2 born April '11
TTC #3 as of July '14
Dx: Me: Recurrent Pregnancy Loss; DH: Low Morphology (2%)
BFP#1: MC 3/1/11 at 6w1d - EDD 10/21/11
BFP#3: MC 2/8/14 at 4w5d - EDD 10/13/14
BFP#6: CP 11/6/14 at 4w2d - EDD 7/14/15
IVF #1 with ICSI & PGS: May/June 2015, ER 6/3/15, 17R/17M/15F
IVF #2 with ICSI & PGS: July 2015, ER 7/16/15, 16R/11M/9F
PGS results = 6 normal embryos (4 boys, 2 girls)
FET 9/23/15 = BFFN
My boys are a huge part of my life too, but I do not mention them at all on TTCAL to conserve the feelings of others. Some ladies over there might have 3 year old boys if things were different, so seeing your son makes them wonder what their child might look like right now. My daughter would be 1 and if you're pic was of a girl, that would start me thinking about my baby girl and what she might look like.
Now, over here, I expect to see pics of kids. So, if I'm having a rough day, I won't come on this board to avoid that. But, TTCAL is a safe place (for some women it's their ONLY safe place) for ALL that have lost children, which is why pics of children and talking about children are discouraged. Now, maybe when some of you were on TTCAL before there were more women with living children than without so pics and conversation were more accepted, but I bet that seeing your LOs or hearing about your kids hurt other women then too. The board is just more aware of this situation now and is trying to protect everyone's feelings.
I've been on TTCAL for over a year now (with some time spent on PGAL) and I can tell you that not once have I ever felt unwelcome there because I had kids. I just leave them out of the conversation and I can still get my point across and talk about my life without mentioning them. Anyone that wishes to do the same is more than welcome over there. If you are unable to do that, then the best place for you is somewhere else.
DX Endometriosis 2/2002 (lost left tube due to a cyst), PCOS 6/2010
BFP - 10/18/2012, EDD - 6/26/2013, Baby Girl lost at 22 weeks (T21), D&E 2/15/2013
BFP - 4/23/2014, EDD - 1/2/2015 Twin Boys lost at 12 weeks, M/C 6/25/2014
My chart here All ALers welcome!
thank you for saying this much nicer/better than I could have.
Cheryl, I guess in a way I can understand your position, but I do not agree with it.
I joined that board two and a half years ago, both my boys were already born. I quickly learned that this was a board of women in various stages of grieving, and various life stages.
I never thought to put a picture of my boys in for a couple of reasons. One was internet safety. The biggest one though? I didn''t want a picture of my children to hurt any of the women on that board. Did it bother me? Absolutely not. I get to see my kids everyday, I don't have to have a picture of them on an internet forum, especially if it could hurt someone.
It does not diminish the fact that I ahve them, or that I am somehow minimizing their existence.
If having that picture in your signature is that important, then of course you should keep it. But maybe in the keeping of it, then that board may not be the place for you, and this one is.
/mlal steps down from soapbox.
ETA: I did not ask the question to cause a fight or a debate, I was just honestly curious. I was also mobile at the time so could not see your sig, or I might have guessed the issue.
ETA because I just read the bolded. I have been there for over two years. I am a sahm. I have been able to talk about my day without mentioning kids. "I went to a movie" vs I took my ds to a movie, not hard. No one asked you to pretend your kid does not exist. FFS
The blog says please no pic of newborns or toddler. Your kid is a toddler.
@mlal78
"Most agree that a picture of a toddler aged child or older is completely fine, but pictures of your older child while they are still a baby can be very hard to see to other TTCALers." My profile picture used to be a funny pic of my son as a newborn and I removed it because of this.
I'm not trying to further the argument. I think its fine to agree to disagree, but I made every effort to follow the rules. If the blog rules are not accurate, it needs to be changed.
"There are appropriate venues to discuss the unique concerns of TTCALing with living children. In the company of women who would give anything to be in your shoes is not one of them. Be polite, FFS."
"This is about a trend from a community of women who intuitively understand that not every topic is acceptable in a mixed use loss support group, to a higher and higher percentage of women who need to be told this astonishing fact. I am all about women hitching up their BGPs up to their tits and soldiering on, but when you go to the home page of your support group and see 5-7 LC warnings flashing at you, that's asking too much."
I can't help but jump in.... the pic in your sig... if I reverse google image search I can track you to your house, an actual image of your house and address (so in short right now I know your address, how much you pay in property taxes, your etsy business, and I was only looking for about 2 minutes)... if I am an internet creep who knows what could happen. So you are not only being selfish and inconsiderate but putting the little boy you love so much at risk. The worst part is you call yourself a Christian.
quote fail
Thats creepy! I didn't even know that you could search for a picture. How DO you do that?
DD#1 born June '09
DD#2 born April '11
TTC #3 as of July '14
BFP #1 7/6/2012, EDD 3/13/2013, Delivered 3/14/2013
BFP #2 1/7/2014: EDD:9/14 MC: 1/9/2014 (confirmed via blood work)
BFP #3 7/5/2014: EDD 3/11/2015 MC: 7/15/2014
BFP #4 11/7/2014: EDD 7/17/2015~~Please be my RAINBOW!
My Chart
All are Welcome!
Bitch be laughin in the face of our intro thread. @HilarityEnsued is all like "I do what I want. Rules are awful. Whatcha wanna do about it?"
Welcome, Hilarity. I'm CheesyPeas. Good luck at the RE!
October 2011 - DS (7)
July 2014 - Stillborn DD (24 weeks)
August 2015 - DD (3)
April 2018 - 5 week loss
October 2011 - DS (7)
July 2014 - Stillborn DD (24 weeks)
August 2015 - DD (3)
April 2018 - 5 week loss
**********LC Mentioned************
I have 2 sons- age 3 and 18 months. You know people can see what you post even if it's on a different board, right? You're not making many friends...
DS2 born 2/22/13
MMC 5/16/14@8w2d
DD due 5/9/15 Please be our RAINBOW