Community› The Bump Message Boards› Working Moms
Working Moms
New Discussion

Very upset baby

J_L_BallJ_L_Ball member
in Working Moms
Since day one, I haven't left my ds with anyone, even my husband. Going back to work is extremely stressful! The transition from home to daycare has been terrible!! My ds, who is almost a year old, screams every morning when I drop him off. There are no tears but he is very upset!! He cries off and on all day and refuses to eat very much while he is there. This is his first week so I'm hoping it gets better!!
Report Reply to Post

Re: Very upset baby

  • litzo27litzo27 member
    Two weeks is a common adjustment time frame but many babies need more. How do they try to soothe and engage him?
    image
     Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • skibunny59skibunny59 member
    That sounds rough.  I'm sorry you're going through that.  I know they say that it takes awhile for LO to adjust to daycare.  Another thought is maybe that daycare is just not a good fit for him.  Maybe he'll do better with a nanny or a small in-home daycare?  I would give it another week and then       re-evaluate.  How do you feel about the daycare?  If you feel comfortable and are happy with how they are handling him then I would maybe wait it out and see if he just needs more time to adjust.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • momofcatanmomofcatan member
    Its hard to compare because every kid is different, but I will tell you how it worked for us. My DD also started DC at almost a year old after spending very little time with anyone else, she used to scream if I tried to had her off to anyone. The first 2 times I dropped her off she didn't really get what was happening so she was OK (I make sure she was distracted with some toys and then sneak out). My husband did drop offs after that and she cried for about 1.5 weeks but after a couple days he said he could hear her stop crying once he was out of sight. My DCP spent most of the first weeks carrying my DD around to keep her calm, I think that helped them have a great connection after a few weeks. Also, even though she was crying at drop off she was still eating and napping well.

    How are you handling drop offs? Is is possible your husband could do drop offs? Are you putting him down to play or handing her off to someone when you drop him off? If you hand her off to someone is it someone she is spending the whole day with? Like PP said I would give it at least 2 weeks, but if he is still spending everyday upset maybe this DCP is not a good fit for him? At this age distraction is key and I think a DCP should be able to keep him occupied and distracted so that he doesn't spend the whole day crying.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • ss265ss265 member
    sugarbear0524 said:

    So, for a year, your LO has never been away from you? No babysitters, grandma, or even alone time staying with your husband? I'm not surprised at all that your DS has had this reaction. He hasn't had time to adjust to your absence in shorter time increments. He hasn't learned that even if Mom goes away for a little while, she comes back. He hasn't learned that it's ok to trust other people with his care. Hindsight is 20/20, but daycare being the first experience he's had wasn't the best course of action. Since you can't change it, my advice would be that you need to project a positive image of daycare to your son. Even at 1 year old, he's looking to you for how to evaluate his circumstances. If you're projecting to him that daycare is a great place and that you trust the caregivers, he will feel more secure. Give it time. This is completely foreign to your LO. 

    It might also help if you leave him for shorter periods on the weekends. Go get a pedicure or shop at the mall without him. It sounds like you haven't taken enough time for yourself and it will also help him get used to alternate care givers.


     

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker


    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • J_L_BallJ_L_Ball member
    Hoping today was a better day for my little guy. He ate a bit yesterday and wasn't as upset throughout the day. I know I should have left him more when he was younger but both sets of grandparents do not live close and my husband works a lot. When he is home we spend time as a family. My ds sees his dad as more of someone to entertain him and play with him I think because he will not take a bottle from my husband. That is another part of the reason why I haven't left him. I expected my son to be upset when I left him for the first time, I'm just hoping he adjusts. My daughter also goes to the sitters and has for the last 5 years. My sitter is a dayhome provider and she is kind and loving. She also has two older teenage daughters that help out too, so I know my kids get a lot of attention. Thanks for the feedback and the suggestions :)
    Report Reply
  • J_L_BallJ_L_Ball member
    Today was a better day!! Thank goodness :D
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"