Hitting on purpose

CoffeeBeanFiend91 · August 2014

Anyone know what age a child might start hitting on purpose? We just went through DDs longest and most violent tantrum ever and I trying not to cry. It's been a really shitty week dealing with hand foot and mouth, meltdowns galore, crappy husbandisms and plenty other crap. During this tantrum DD would walk over just to hit me in the face and she picked up a bottle and tried to slam me in the head with it.

I thought this was a learned behavior. When does it go from flailing baby slaps to aggressive behavior? Anything I should or even can do?

natalie115 · August 2014

When Wyatt gets mad he'll try to hit or bite me. There's no where he would have learned that so I think it's just a toddler thing. We do time outs in his crib for a minute or two and they work really well. He'll usually scream for the time out, but when I take him out he typically stops hitting/biting for the rest of the day. I will give him 2 warnings before the time out. Simply saying "no hitting /biting" and walking away from him so he can't do it. A lot of the time that works, but if not the short time out does.

cynthia2007 · August 2014

We get the face slap too here and we just give her a stern No and say be gentle. I'll take her hand and rub my face showing her how to be gentle and typically she'll replicate being gentle and we say good A. If she tries to slap again, I put her down and walk away and tell her why. Sometimes I think she understands, sometimes no.

I agree with PP of not associating crib with timeout/calm down time. I put her down in room where she doesn't have toys so she typically will calm down if she cries to crawl to her toys.

CoffeeBeanFiend91 · August 2014

Thanks ladies. DD has always been a slapper but it was pretty viscious so I was caught off gaurd.

numbersgirl08 · August 2014

@subliminalrabbit‌ I feel the same way - I can tell she needs to start learning rules and is testing boundaries, but she is still soooo young it's hard to know how to "discipline" at this age. Right now I sternly tell her to stop, and will turn my back or ignore her outburst until she's done, and then move on. I'm not sure if that works but it's the best I have right now! Knowing when to really start disciplining, with real timeouts and such, is going to be harder than I thought.

CoffeeBeanFiend91 · August 2014

The crib is gone and she's in a toddler bed because she's always hated the crib so that's not an option anyway. Since her room is baby proofed and has soft carpeting I should start sending her to he room lol! I wish I could ask my moms advice but she thinks DD is old enough for an ass beating. Which blows my mind because my mom wasn't a spanker. She smacked my ass once and believe you me I deserved it.

daffy2k · August 2014

We also have a hitter... If she's throwing a tantrum she really prefers to be left alone. She will sit/roll around on the floor, cry, scream and flail her arms. If you are holding her, or attempt to pick her up during said tantrum, you will most likely get slapped. The hitting that has been more concerning to me is when she is happy and will slap daddy in the face as he is lying on the couch. She seems to think it's absolutely hilarious when we take a stern tone with her so the slap to the face is followed by a stern "no. We don't hit daddy" followed by DD giggling and trying to do it again... I'm sort of at a loss and definitely need to do some reading on the subject

TheTamedShrew · August 2014

I don't think it's too early to start introducing time out. I put E in a 30 second time out alone in her crib if she pinches or bites. Saying "no" was just too entertaining for her, and she would think it was a game and chase you across the room to try and get another reaction. It hasn't changed her attitude towards the crib at all, and she stops any aggressive behavior after that. When I take her out of time out I say "We do NOT pinch/bite/hit" and then I give her a hug and kiss. It seems to work pretty well for us.

ilovemarfa · August 2014

I think kids hit at this age out of frustration- just like some throw things. Every parenting book I've read said that time outs before age 3 are pointless. They don't understand why they are being reprimanded until then. Ds1 and ds2 have never been big hitters but when they have hit I just tell/told them no and redirected them.

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