2nd Trimester

Sex! Anyone else just not interested?

Hi I'm 15 weeks and need some help. I figured my second trimester would be full of makeup sessions that I couldn't really deal with in the first trimester but I'm just as tired and turned off as before. My dh is having a hard time with it and I feel soooo bad because I just have no desire for it. Does this eventually go away? Or am I doomed to have a sexless pregnancy? I know a simple solution would be to just try it out or he should just understand but that's easier said than done. Any advice ladies?

Re: Sex! Anyone else just not interested?

  • No desire, at all. I feel awful about it.
  • It varies for me. We have been able to keep a consistent every other day frequency, but I did not have morning sickness in my first trimester so that helped. Massages are a great way to ease into it and you get multiple benefits! ;)
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  • I am the same and i feel awlful about it. I have tried it but i just feel very unrelaxed and tense about it :(
  • Thanks a bunch! At least I know I'm not alone lol! I guess my future is filled with more bjs until I feel better ;)
  • It's different with every pregnancy. I never had a sex drive with my first pregnancy, maybe had sex all of 3 times. This time around I am 19 weeks and still am not in the mood but make sure it happens once a week for DH. Don't feel guilty. It sucks for our husbands but there are way more things that suck for us while being pregnant. Being patient is the least they can do.
  • With my first pregnancy, I had zero desire and only gave in rarely.  I had morning sickness 24/7 and just the movement involved in sex was enough to make me reach for my trusty bucket.

    This time around, while I am completely exhausted, I am more up for sex than ever.  Your partner is going to have to learn to understand and respect your feelings and get used to cold showers until you come around.

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  • No interest here at all. My poor DH - he seems understanding, but I wish I could get with the program. Everytime we get intimate, little guy starts kicking around and it's just weird - totally puts me out of the mood. I can't be "sexy" while the dogs are barking either...it's almost like I can't be distracted to get things done, lol.

     

     

     

     

  • In the first trimester I was not into it at all. Maybe too sick and too tired but mostly I just wasn't into it. I also had horrible mood swings. Second trimester I've actually been initiating, so it might come back for you. But if it doesn't, I'm sure your man will be understanding.. It seems like most are. 
    ~~~My baby girl is due November 4th, 2014~~~
  • Mvvs82Mvvs82 member
    I hear ya! First trimester I barely had sex, I was way too tired! Now that i'm in my second i'm getting my energy back, however, time of day is key for me. For example, I just can't get into it in the morning or too late in the evening. I can only hanky pankey in the afternoon or early in the evening. Before preganancy, I used to be down for it any time of the day. I guess it'll only go downhill from here! Waaaaa!  :((
    BFP#1: 7/26/13, EDD 4/5/2014, MMC @8wks
    BFP#2: 4/18/14, EDD 12/24/14
    Pregnancy Ticker image
  • I have no desire either, I'm always tired and sick. We haven't actually had sex since we found out :( 15 weeks ouch. My poor Boyfriend.
    But I am not well too, I get tummy aches and I think that plays part too. I'm afraid of making it worse
  • I have felt that way but truthfully I just do it sometimes anyway! Most of the time I end up in the mood as we go. I’m of the opinion that a man is going to have sex, and if his wife isn’t the one that’s doing it someone else will. However, BJ's are always a good way to make up for it :)
  • i'm 20 weeks and have pretty much cut my husband off. it's too uncomfortable and painful. 
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  • I'm 19 weeks and I feel like my sex drive will never come back ugh my poor DH
  • I'm 15 weeks tomorrow and not overly thrilled to have sex. Hoping it changes for me too. You are certainly not alone. :)
    PPT 12/1/12 EDD 8/4/2013 Blighted Ovum - D&C 1/7/2013 Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • I was like this with my first. I tried so hard to like it for my hubby...one time I even started crying and that was pretty much the end of any love sessions for the rest of pregnancy. It's pretty hard late in the pregnancy too just because of exhaustion and ur body aching. I just made a point to always be fast asleep by the time my hubby came to bed;)
  • I wasn't interested at all the first trimester, my hubs left to work away at 8 weeks, I wont see him until 22 weeks. My interest came back at 13 weeks...but of course he isn't here! I am worried it will go away again when he gets back.
  • edited August 2014
    I was stuck in that funk for the entire first trimester, and I just now got out of it. I'll tell you what worked for me:

    I stayed home from work last Tuesday, shaved everything, straightened my hair, painted my toenails electric blue, and slathered myself down with lotion. Then I put on something see-through and spent the rest of the afternoon trying REALLY HARD to imagine all the fun I'd have when Billy got home from work. 

    Gradually, my imagination prevailed and by the time he did get home I was my old self again, although who knows how long it will last lol.
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  • I felt like that my first trimester and most of my second now I'm closer to the end and it been alot easier. I was disgusted by the thought of anything sexual for a while!
  • During my 1st trimester I was sick and exhausted 24/7 but for some reason, I wanted sex a lot. Now in my 2nd trimester, I don't want to be kissed or touched in any way. I feel horrible about it. I really hope my sex drive comes back soon. I don't give bj's so he is out of luck there, but even if I did, I couldn't right now because my gag reflex is so bad. I throw up almost every time I brush my teeth and gums.
  • You are definitely not alone. I feel so bad for my husband, we've only done it 3 times sense finding out. Last time I was so out of it he didn't even finish the job because of my lack of interest. I feel so bad but not sure how to explain to him why I'm never in the mood. BJ'S are out of the question for me right now due to my all day sickness. I'm afraid I would barf before I even start and then how would that make him feel :( we've talked about it a lot and I feel like he understands but at the same time I feel like he feels rejected or unattractive to me which isn't the case at all. I just pray I get some kind of mood back soon.
  • Im on pelvic rest and completely pissed off i cant have sex.
    -------------------------------
    Sarah, 35 bumping from NE Ohio
    Married my love 4/22/2006
    DD born 10/12/2009
    DS born sleeping 2/23/2013 full trisomy 18
    Baby 3 due 2/13/2015
    Pregnancy Ticker}
  • I can definitely say that now, being 22 weeks, it's not as dreadful to think about, but goodness gracious! I still dont't really want it and doing it feels more like a chore than anything else. I hope I go back to feeling normal soon

    :((
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