Parenting after a Loss

VENT - NBR

I am so frustrated and annoyed right now!  Where we live, we are zoned for School A, but since my oldest (now 8) started Kindergarted, he has been going to School B, because that's where we were zoned when he started school.  He's had some behavioral issues, and we've worked very hard with the teachers and staff at School B to find ways to help him stay focused.  He will be in 3rd grade.  My youngest will be starting Kindergarten this year, so I went to the district and put in two transfer requests, in hopes that both boys would be allowed to go to School B.  No such luck.  They have to go to School A.  So I got them registered on Tuesday and asked about the after-school care program that's offered through our city parks and rec department.  The lady at the school told me to contact the parks and rec dept.  I called today and I was informed that the program at that school is full and she "has nothing to offer me".   She tells me that they did all their registrations on "Registration Day", which I didn't go to because I was waiting to hear back from the district regarding the transfer requests.  She was very rude, and in essence, scolded me for not registering my kids on registration day (which is not required - you are allowed to register your students at any point before school starts and after registration has opened for the district by going to the school at which your children will attend).

There is 1 daycare center in our town that I would trust to care for my kids after school, but they don't offer transportation, and I refuse to allow my kids to ride a school bus.  I feel kids learn too much too soon when they're surrounded by kids older than them and from different circumstances without supervision.  

The family that I have in-town works, so they would be unable to pick up the boys.  My in-laws live 13 miles outside the city limits, and a) I don't think they would be willing to drive that far every day, and b) I wouldn't feel comfortable asking them to do that anyway.  My grandparents are aging rapidly - my gpa just had major abdominal surgery, and my gma is caring for him and my disabled mother, as well as "babysitting" my 31 year old brother, so asking her to drive to town every day to get them is out of the question.  

That leaves my only option as asking my boss to allow me to leave work at 3:45 every day instead of 4, and hoping that the school doesn't get mad at me for picking the boys up at 4 everyday.  

I'm beyond frustrated - if you're going to offer after school care, shouldn't you make every effort to accommodate any family that needs it? And when it's fully, shouldn't you offer a list of other places that offer after school care, so that those of us who missed out on it have some other options available to us?

No real point to this, except that I'm just plain pissed off about the whole situation.  Thanks for reading. You ladies are awesome!

TL;DR - the after school care program at my kids school is full, the lady was rude about it, and I don't have anyone else to watch them so now I'll have to leave work early every day and hope the school and my boss don't get made at me.
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Re: VENT - NBR

  • Thanks for your input, ladies.  

    As for the school bus, I've had bad experiences on the bus (I rode from my elementary school to my brother's middle school for a year), and our city is full of families and children that are of a more unsavory nature.  In the classrooms, the kids are monitored and supervised, but on the bus they can pretty much do and say whatever they like.  

    Even if I were willing to give it a try, my house is not far enough from the school for them to ride.  In our district, you must have a drop-off point that is at least 2-miles from the school in order to utilize the school buses.  No way in the world am I letting an 8 year old and a 5 (nearly 6) year old walk home, especially since our house is on a very busy state highway.
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  • I'm beyond frustrated - if you're going to offer after school care, shouldn't you make every effort to accommodate any family that needs it? And when it's fully, shouldn't you offer a list of other places that offer after school care, so that those of us who missed out on it have some other options available to us?

    Childcare programs have registration limits based on space and the number of teachers they employ.  These limits are usually set by state regulations.  Unfortunately, they cannot exceed them because another family needs care.  It's illegal, and it SHOULD be illegal.  I don't know that it's really their responsibility to be aware of the other programs in your area -- their responsibility is to run their program -- but I know that many cities have childcare resource centers that do provide that information.  Our state also has a searchable online database of all licensed childcare providers on the website of the Office of Education.

    I'm not trying to be bitchy; it's just that I've worked for an organization that provided childcare and that's the way it worked.  I totally agree that your situation sucks and it is frustrating that you are stuck -- but I don't think they owe you anything.  Except to be polite -- the rudeness from the woman you talked to is obnoxious either way!  There are nice ways to tell a person you can't help them.

    I rode buses as a kid and never had an issue; my son will ride the bus when he's older because there is no other option.  I work; my wife works; we can't leave early; we don't work close: thus he will ride the bus.  The end.  I'm not sure what you mean by "unsavory" but I grew up in a city with plenty of kids from "different circumstances."  I suspect your kids would be fine on the bus, but I could see how it would bother you if you've had a bad experience yourself.  Anyway I guess if they aren't eligible, it's moot.

    I hope a good childcare or transportation opportunity presents itself and you are able to work all of this out.  Dealing with school and childcare and jobs for one kid, let alone two, is stressful and I am not looking forward to it in a few years!
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  • What a pain! I hope you can figure something out. I think PPs have given some good suggestions. 

    Can riding the bus maybe become a learning opportunity? You can talk to them about what kinds of bad words and behavior they might see and teach them how they should deal with that? I am probably oversimplifying though because I don't have kids that age (yet!). 
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