I have a scheduled C-section for our second child, and am wondering what everyone's experience is with their older child visiting mommy in the hospital after surgery. Our DD will be just over 2 when her baby brother is born, and I will be hooked up to tubes and unable to hold her/pick her up while in the hospital. Should she come visit anyway? Or will it be too traumatizing? Thoughts?
Re: Should 2 yo visit hospital?
Different situation, but I had my almost-3 year old come and visit DH in the hospital over the weekend. He had surgery on his ankle, so also couldn't pick her up or hold her, or get out of bed. He also had IVs, his leg was all bandaged and propped up and he had the big frame with a handle and everything over his bed. I had been at the hospital all day with him, and my ILs brought her up when they were coming to visit and I was getting ready to leave. So she wasn't there for too long, but she was cool with all of it. As background, DH has had this broken ankle for almost a month now, and this was his second surgery. Before this he had an external fixator on it, with the pins and bars and all of that, so I figured if DD could handle robo-daddy with the bars on his leg, she'd be fine coming to the hospital this time. I did not bring her to the hospital when he had the last surgery to put the ex-fix on, because i was afraid that might weird her out. We did facetime with him instead.
But if I was going to be in the hospital for several days for a c/s, I might reconsider. I would ask his caregiver to plan somewhere super fun to go after visiting, so that they could be like "hey, DS! Let's let mommy rest a bit and go get some ice cream!" He might go for that.
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This is my experience.
When ds 2 was born, ds 1 was 17 months and he'd NEVER been away from me, so I wanted him there. He was there the WHOLE days. My mom watched him during the day at the hospital and my dh took him home at night to sleep. He did ok, but basically he should have just visited and then stayed with my parents because he wanted absolutely NOTHING to do with me. He would not respond to anything about me and he would even make eye contact with me, let me hold him or anything. Now, he loved his brother, loved playing with him and seeing him. I just wanted him there because I thought he'd need me, but he didn't, he hated me. So, the next time I'm going to leave them at home with my mom with only a visit. However, I don't regret him being there, but it seemed pointless.
I did take her to a siblings class at the hospital. She got to see the hospital and they made a big deal about her being the big sister.
I had a gift for ds from dd. He got bored pretty quick. So maybe keep it short. I also had markers & coloring books.
We just explained that mommy was OK but had to be careful BC I just had a baby. He understood for the most part.
He came a couple times a day but each visit wasnt too long & usually once in the morning & in the evening.
He got to sit in the bed with me. He did really good!!
Good luck!!
I had our DD by (unplanned) C-section. She was born at 12:05 a.m. and I was up and disconnected from everything (IV, catheter etc.) by 6:30 a.m.
I guess what I'm saying is what if you left it that LO can come meed baby #2 AFTER you are unhooked? You should still probably explain that you will maybe look different and there will be lots of medical equipment etc. but at least that way she won't be freaked out by seeing you attached to a million different things.
And it gives you some time to recover and absorb the arrival of your new little one