Help us all get sleep!

vpeazy · August 2014

Hello everyone! I have a 2y/o baby boy who was the best sleeper until a few months ago when he got ridiculously sick with a double ear infection that kept him with a steady 100-103 fever for almost a week before he was better! We used to lay him in his bed with his blankie or rock him and put him down and you wouldn't hear from him for 10 hours. While he was sick, he only wanted to be held, understandably, so we spent that entire week sleeping in a rocking chair. When he got better, we went back to our bedtime routine. The minute he realized he was being put in his crib he jumped up frantically reaching and grabbing on to us and crying. So we spent a few more weeks getting up every hour with him, soothing him and putting him back in crib. Then we tried letting him just cry. He would cry till he was shaking. It was like he was scared. So he ended up in our bed, and slept great. To not get in the habit of sleeping with us, since he never did, we converted the crib to a toddler bed. It didn't help. he just climbed on out and walked on over to our room. So now my husband about a month ago decided to sleep on the floor so that he would be comforted knowing someone was there and get over whatever was keeping him from sleeping alone. Well, now he's dependent on someone sleeping on his floor! I am pregnant, and NOT sleeping on the floor! Any suggestions on how to get him to sleep alone again and through the night? He shares a room with his 4y/o brother who also is affected by all of this! HELP! No suggestion is stupid!!!

greyt00 · August 2014

Sleeping on the floor in his room is just going to make him more dependent on someone being there. I know a lot of people do this so you're not alone. Put him back in bed as many times as it takes for him to stay there. Don't talk to him, don't give him anything, just silently (but nicely) put him back in bed. It will suck at first. You or DH might put him back in his bed dozens of times before he stops even that first night. But he will stop. It could take several days before you see a drastic improvement. That would the more drastic approach. A milder approach would be to inch out of the room slowly. Keep moving toward the door until your husband is out of the room.

I would suggest the more drastic approach because it should get you to your end game quicker, especially since it's affecting another child. It will likely suck for a few days. But I did this with an autistic child who developmentally was probably close in age to your son. It helped a lot. Since we implemented this technique, we've had 21 undisturbed nights out of 34 (he was getting out of bed nearly every day, and sometimes more than once per day, previously). It would probably work even better with a neurotypical child.

Good luck. (I don't know why my font changed!)

DawnJM25 · August 2014

Nicb13 said:

greyt00 said:

Sleeping on the floor in his room is just going to make him more dependent on someone being there. I know a lot of people do this so you're not alone. Put him back in bed as many times as it takes for him to stay there. Don't talk to him, don't give him anything, just silently (but nicely) put him back in bed. It will suck at first. You or DH might put him back in his bed dozens of times before he stops even that first night. But he will stop. It could take several days before you see a drastic improvement. That would the more drastic approach. A milder approach would be to inch out of the room slowly. Keep moving toward the door until your husband is out of the room.

I would suggest the more drastic approach because it should get you to your end game quicker, especially since it's affecting another child. It will likely suck for a few days. But I did this with an autistic child who developmentally was probably close in age to your son. It helped a lot. Since we implemented this technique, we've had 21 undisturbed nights out of 34 (he was getting out of bed nearly every day, and sometimes more than once per day, previously). It would probably work even better with a neurotypical child.

Good luck. (I don't know why my font changed!)

This. You have to stay consistent, night after night no matter how hard it is or all of the work will be for nothing. Your LO is used to you catering to him (understandably, I would have done it too) so now you have to break those bad habits.

Yep. This. It will suck, but consistency is important. You have to re-establish the expectation that he stay in bed in his room and go to sleep on his own.

KDR1979 · August 2014

DD has been a terrible sleeper for us! We just did a sleep study in June found out that she was having "periodic limb movements." 3 of those caused arousals (disturbed her sleep pattern). This can be related to a low iron level. Her ferritin level was very low, so we started daily liquid iron. She started sleeping-better than EVER after 2 weeks on Iron!!!

We also saw a sleep PsyD at our local Children's Hospital. He gave us some behavioral suggestions as well. The first thing he wanted us to do was to stop bringing her to our bed. She does have her own bedroom and we have a twin bed in there (she is in a crib). When she would wake up, we would sleep in the twin room and really try to not take her out of the crib. We eventually did let her cry it out some as well. Between that and the iron, she is sleeping 9.5-10.5 hours every night now. The PsyD did recommend postponing the crib to toddler bed transition for as long as possible. He said it makes sleep issues worse.

Good luck!

ashiscute · August 2014

DawnJM25 said:

Nicb13 said:

greyt00 said:

Sleeping on the floor in his room is just going to make him more dependent on someone being there. I know a lot of people do this so you're not alone. Put him back in bed as many times as it takes for him to stay there. Don't talk to him, don't give him anything, just silently (but nicely) put him back in bed. It will suck at first. You or DH might put him back in his bed dozens of times before he stops even that first night. But he will stop. It could take several days before you see a drastic improvement. That would the more drastic approach. A milder approach would be to inch out of the room slowly. Keep moving toward the door until your husband is out of the room.

I would suggest the more drastic approach because it should get you to your end game quicker, especially since it's affecting another child. It will likely suck for a few days. But I did this with an autistic child who developmentally was probably close in age to your son. It helped a lot. Since we implemented this technique, we've had 21 undisturbed nights out of 34 (he was getting out of bed nearly every day, and sometimes more than once per day, previously). It would probably work even better with a neurotypical child.

Good luck. (I don't know why my font changed!)

This. You have to stay consistent, night after night no matter how hard it is or all of the work will be for nothing. Your LO is used to you catering to him (understandably, I would have done it too) so now you have to break those bad habits.

Yep. This. It will suck, but consistency is important. You have to re-establish the expectation that he stay in bed in his room and go to sleep on his own.

just worth saying again that these ladies are right. It isn't easy but it will best for everyone if you sort of lay down the law and stick with it! Good luck.

vpeazy · August 2014

Thank you! I thought the tough love approach was the best way to go, and I can afford to be exhausted for a week or so as opposed to the rest of my life! you ladies are wonderful!

greyt00 · August 2014

Good luck! I hope it won't be as bad as you think. Even in my case, it wasn't as bad as I feared.

Help us all get sleep!

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