Would you leave a bad review?

noellemari · August 2014

So we're currently using care.com to find a new sitter. I had interviewed a girl and we liked her so I asked her to come the two days next week to watch the girls while I work, Monday and Friday.

I just get a message that she found something full time and can't come next week. Now I get that she has to take what's right and good and works for her, but I feel like she should have told the other family that she already had another commitment next week and started with them afterward. I'm annoyed that now I have to scramble to find care for Monday.

You can leave reviews on people after your interview and I really want to leave a not so great one. I don't feel that four days is enough time (two of which I'm working). I think it's flaky and a sign of someone who doesn't realize how important reliable child care is.

So would you leave a review or just drop it? Maybe I'm just currently fired up?

pnwlover12 · August 2014

I probably wouldn't rip her apart in the review, but if she committed to your "job" she should have honored that.

IrishHoney123 · August 2014

I understand your frustration. I've had this same thing happen, and I didn't leave a bad review. At least she notified you and didn't no show. From her standpoint, she hadn't started for you yet and didn't want to miss this opportunity if they wanted her to start immediately.

noellemari · August 2014

pnwlover12 said:
I probably wouldn't rip her apart in the review, but if she committed to your "job" she should have honored that.

I guess I want to say something like that. Like commitment obviously means not a whole lot to her. You know? Like not totally tear her apart, because she was nice and I get that she should take the job that works best for her, but seriously.

golfingdarwinfish · August 2014

I would either detail what happened (it's the truth), or say nothing at all. I wouldn't rip her apart or get emotional in the review - purely factual.

"I feel like she should have told the other family that she already had another commitment next week and started with them afterward."

Also, do you know for a fact she didn't try to uphold her commitment to you and the other family said start Monday or we will find someone else?

golfingdarwinfish · August 2014

noellemari said:

I probably wouldn't rip her apart in the review, but if she committed to your "job" she should have honored that.
I guess I want to say something like that. Like commitment obviously means not a whole lot to her. You know? Like not totally tear her apart, because she was nice and I get that she should take the job that works best for her, but seriously.

Honestly, I don't think you have enough evidence to make such a blanket statement about her and possibly hinder her ability to obtain future employment. Yes, what she did was shitty, but you have no idea the circumstances under which she made that decision.

noellemari · August 2014

golfingdarwinfish said:
I would either detail what happened (it's the truth), or say nothing at all. I wouldn't rip her apart or get emotional in the review - purely factual.

"I feel like she should have told the other family that she already had another commitment next week and started with them afterward."

Also, do you know for a fact she didn't try to uphold her commitment to you and the other family said start Monday or we will find someone else?

I'm not sure what she told the other family. When she told me, I told her that I understand but that she should learn that reliability is important in a sitter and four days isn't really all that much time. Maybe not very nice? I fully admit I can be a bitch when it comes to my kids! She got a little defensive and didn't further explain anything.

noellemari · August 2014

Cantisa said:
I left a poor review for the florist for my wedding because there were so many things wrong and she contacted me and I felt bad so I changed it. LOL I get so full of rage and then afterwards I'm like no, just kidding, I'm sorry...

This is why I didn't go and do it right away! I could see myself feeling bad tomorrow morning.

brachysira · August 2014

I interviewed someone terrible but was in a grading bind and thought I would just have her play with M a few days while I was home and grading. She worked as a mostly full time nanny for another toddler but was off for a few weeks. She asked if she could do homework while watching my child, asked if we allowed TV, and acted really annoyed that I planned to be home. The first day she sat for us, she got a message (b/c her phone never left her hand) and had to leave an hour early. The second day she completely cancelled the same day. I wished I knew the couple who had hired her full time so I could call them because I'm pretty sure she was 100% neglectful. But I still didn't leave a bad care.come review because she knew where we lived and I didn't want her to vandalize our house or something...

JessAnnJ · August 2014

I would let it go. If someone offered a full time job starting next week it sounds like that family was probably in a bind too so I imagine it would have been hard for her to say that she wanted to start a week later. It sucks and I would be annoyed to, but I don't think this is really something you can blame her for taking if she needed full time and she hadn't even started working for you yet.

Justabean3 · August 2014

People go where the money is.
A full time commitment is more promising than a part time one.

I say for sitting then 4 days isn't ideal but it isn't the day before or of.

I wouldn't leave her a bad review

miss.brittany · August 2014

I personally wouldn't leave a bad review. I agree it's annoying but 4 days is a lot better than canceling the night before. It sounds like she probably called you immediately after being offered the other position. And at least she was honest about why she had to back out. It's not cool but I don't think it's bad enough to write a review that could affect her future employment.

MrsL2B · August 2014

If she's young, she may not understand that telling future employers that you have previous commitments is something you can do. Hopefully you did her a favor by letting her know that was a problem and she won't do it again.

noellemari · August 2014

MrsL2B said:
If she's young, she may not understand that telling future employers that you have previous commitments is something you can do. Hopefully you did her a favor by letting her know that was a problem and she won't do it again.

Thank you everyone! I think I've calmed down a bit! I did make it very clear to her that I was not pleased and that she should probably not do the same thing to someone else. She is young and prob just doesn't get it. And four days isn't awful, but I work two of them and then it's the weekend, so I just feel....pressured. And my backup can't do Mondays. So I'm really stuck now! It will work out.....

Saragoeswest · August 2014

I would cut her a break and not write a review at all. A personal note that is honest and constructive may go a long way. Jobs are hard to come by and she may have felt like she wouldn't get the full time job if she delayed her start date.

DaniGrace89 · August 2014

I wouldn't.

One time I got a bad review on a similar site and though it was false, the sheer fact that there was a bad review made things tough. I get that you are angry, and rightfully so, but I'm not sure it's worth it.

It's possible that she felt that it wasn't a good fit and luckily never started with you....you may have dodged a bullet.

Good luck finding someone new. Hopefully someone amazing!

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