Debbie Downer moment ... My Advice: Don't look through old wallets (prev. loss mentioned)

SweetieShellieH · August 2014

DH and I moved into this house in October and still have some things to go through (I know, I know, it's been months!). I found an old purse of mine, with an old wallet. I decided to go through the wallet so see what I still had in it. Finding a $20 bill would have been awesome, but nope! Instead I found the card for an OB appointment I had made when I found out I was pregnant back in early 2012. I never went to that appointment ... ugh ... Seeing that just ruined my day. I want to cry.

My 29th birthday is on the 29th this month. It was my 26th birthday when I decided I was done with BCPs and once the pack I was still on was done, I wanted to start trying. DH would've had me quit them on our first date if he could've (in retrospect maybe it would've got us to an RE sooner lol) Now I keep thinking how everyone keeps telling me I'm still young and blah blah blah. And yes, I am young(ish), I know that. But I wanted to be done having kids before I turned 30. That's what I had thought the way things would be when I was little. My mom did it, why can't I? Now I'll be lucky if we can have one by then, and we want to have at least two kids. If I don't get KU this year, I definitely won't be having a baby before I turn 30.

In other words, the 5 year old me is sad and doesn't understand why grown-up me is telling her "Sorry kid, your dream isn't going the way you hoped it would"

Oh man crap now I'm crying. Can I blame my period & the double dose of Femara I started last night?

theholmanherd · August 2014

Aw, I'm sorry. That's really rough. I hope some alcohol can drown your sorrows today. HUGS

BlueJell0 · August 2014

Hugs. I'm so sorry. It is hard when some reminder sneaks up on you like that.

I second the alcohol suggestion. I will definitely be having some wine tonight, you should join me!

ronniesgirl1981 · August 2014

I'm sorry. I can totally relate. I knew we'd be done having kids by my husband's 40th birthday....and that would be this weekend. Nope, not even started.

lisa89760 · August 2014

I'm sorry! My 29th birthday was difficult for the same reason. I thought for sure I would have had a baby or at least be pregnant. Lots of wine!

BunnyBerry · August 2014

I'm sorry, that's so painful!

Hopefully you'll be making an OB appointment soon.

Doesn't it suck how much we end up playing those numbers games with ourselves? A couple months back I realized it was impossible to have a baby before 30. Now the game is, can I get KU before 30? And then it just turns into something else. It truly sucks.

@ronniesgirl1981 I'm sorry, that's so frustrating.

Hollowvic · August 2014

Sorry you're having a rough day. I know this isn't going to make you feel any better but I turn 39 next month, I would give anything to be turning 29, that being said, I would only go back for the physical aspect of it, and only if I could know what I know now. My 30's have been way better than my 20"s so you have something to look forward to.

SweetieShellieH · August 2014

thanks ladies. I'm not into wine (shocker, especially being portuguese! lol), but perhaps a caramel mudshake is in order. I wish I had some vodka. I have a whole jug of cranberry juice in the fridge!

lebradford · August 2014

I'm sorry. ((hugs)) Reminders like that are so, so hard.

**loss mentioned**

I've had a few moments like that already. The Bump app sent a notification to my phone last week that my baby was the size of a pea, so I deleted the app. Then I logged into the Bump on my computer for the first time yesterday (I'm normally on mobile) and it says, "you have 29 uncompleted items on your pregnancy to-do list" or something like that. It took me like 10 minutes to figure out how to convince the Bump that I was no longer pregnant. :-( It sucks. I wish we could instantly wipe out all reminders of our loss.

SweetieShellieH · August 2014

lebradford said:

I'm sorry. ((hugs)) Reminders like that are so, so hard. **loss mentioned** I've had a few moments like that already. The Bump app sent a notification to my phone last week that my baby was the size of a pea, so I deleted the app. Then I logged into the Bump on my computer for the first time yesterday (I'm normally on mobile) and it says, "you have 29 uncompleted items on your pregnancy to-do list" or something like that. It took me like 10 minutes to figure out how to convince the Bump that I was no longer pregnant. :-( It sucks. I wish we could instantly wipe out all reminders of our loss.

I had a different bump account when I had gotten pregnant. I never used the forums or anything, but I had made one of those webpage baby registry things bump has. Despite all my efforts, I could not get rid of the page. If you search my hubby's name on google (our last name is not common) it's one of the first links that pops up. I do log in once in a blue moon just to see if I can figure it out and make it finally disappear for good!

dominicandreamer · August 2014

SweetieShellieH said:
I had a different bump account when I had gotten pregnant. I never used the forums or anything, but I had made one of those webpage baby registry things bump has. Despite all my efforts, I could not get rid of the page. If you search my hubby's name on google (our last name is not common) it's one of the first links that pops up. I do log in once in a blue moon just to see if I can figure it out and make it finally disappear for good!

I'm really sorry you had to run across such a painful reminder.

As for TB account, email the internet gods. They were able to delete some old information for me even though it linked to a new account. May take a couple emails but it may be worth it.

In the meantime have a glass of wine (or grape juice depending on your restrictions on Femara) and let it all out.

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Debbie Downer moment ... My Advice: Don't look through old wallets (prev. loss mentioned)

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