Working Moms

Working home on Fridays, has been taken away from me :(

Hi all,

Need some advice.  My LO is 17mths old.  I’ve been working from home on Fridays since shes been born, and its been working out magically. If I ever feel the need to be in the office I always make arrangements for child care.  I’ve been at my job for 2.6 years, and have been promoted twice, even during my working home on Fridays.

Recently I was told, I have to start coming back to work on Fridays because they’ve worked with me long enough.  They feel its not fair to the other people in my department, although no one else has children.  I was really upset but agreed that after labor day I will start working the full day on Fridays again.  Well, I just found out im pregnant with number two this weekend. Of course more than anything I want my Fridays to be permanent.  I feel if I bring this up again, I will be extremely nervy but I just don’t understand if I’m getting all my work done, and my manager is happy with me then why I have to make this change.  Shes voiced over and over again, what a great job im doing.

Maybe I’m being selfish, but having Fridays at home made such a different for my LO and I.

Any advice, anyone can give?

Re: Working home on Fridays, has been taken away from me :(

  • I'm confused.  Are you working a full-time job?  Or are you part-time and they want you to go full-time?  Because if you are already full-time and just not making care arrangements on a Friday, I can see where others might not like this arrangement. It's not clear to me if you are actually working on a Friday?
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  • I have a full time job, and work home on Fridays.  While I'm home on Fridays, i have a sitter, so i'm able to work, but while i go in the office i put her in day care. Sorry should have explained that better.  I'm just venting because I feel the only reason for them taking it away from me is because it's not fair to other employees, meanwhile no one else has asked to working from home.  I'm really close with my entire department.
  • Well she does say she has a sitter when she works from home.

    But I question how you know no one else has asked to work from home? And I agree, it's not going to fly with other employees to hear that they can't do it b/c they don't have kids.

    Obviously it's not going over as beautifully as you think, otherwise they wouldn't be coming to you. Perhaps someone - maybe someone in a different department - has asked to work from home and they are needing to tell them no, and the fact that you have this arrangement is making it hard to say no to them? Or someone who has some power over your scheduling arrangement either doesn't trust work from home situations in general, or your work from home situation specifically. And this doesn't necessarily have to be based in reality.

    What is your pay like compared to others in your company or in your industry that do your job? I will agree with this, they are taking away something very valuable from you. Have you ever bypassed a pay raise or something to get this? If so, then I would point that out. If not then could you offer to take a pay cut to keep this arrangement? It wouldn't be b/c you are working more or less, it's just that the arrangement is so very nice, that I think a lot of people would be willing to work at a below market rate in exchange for this flexibility.

    That goes back to @privacywanted 's point though, it's obvious why you - or anyone else for that matter - would want the option to work from home on Fridays. What's not clear is what is in it for your employer other than being nice. And employers aren't usually nice just to be nice.




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  • I sort of agree with other comments.  You could absolutely approach your employer about this again, but you need to do it in such a way that you can outline how it could be a benefit to your employer.  I don't think your employer really cares that you enjoy the arrangement, you know?

    I WFH 2 days a week.  We have a FT nanny, and she also comes on the days that I'm home (though for a shorter time, since we don't have to allow time for my commute on those days).  I'm required to provide justification for my arrangement periodically (every 2-3 years).  I stress that it better allows me to be available to work with my colleagues globally.  I can jump on calls at 5am or 10pm, and then easily transition into work.  I outline my working arrangement (office separate from the rest of the house, etc.).  I even go as far as to say that I have a generator available in the event of a power outage.  

    I feel that it reduces my sick time, because I'm more likely to just work from home when I feel lousy instead of taking a full day off.  

    I highlight that I'm extremely productive on my days at home, since the "drive by" conversations are reduced.  I also spend a ton of time on conference calls with agencies, consultants, and colleagues in remote offices, so it really doesn't matter where I am.

    Just some ideas for you.  
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    I do agree- maybe see if you can do it another day.  I think there is absolutely a perception in general that if osmeone is working from home on a Friday, they aren't really working.  And/or that they start they're weekend earlier than they would if they were in the office.

    It's often all about perception. 

    And ditto the person that said that clearly this situation isn't working beautifully for everyone if they are making you stop.

    So - sure, talk to them some more.  State your case, perhaps offer to work another day at home, and maybe also talk to them about giving this opportunity to EVERYONE.  Not just you/ not just parents. 
  • I totally get how losing this day from home sucks. I've been working on a particular project that requires me to go to the client every Wednesday, and it's been great! I go straight from my home and then work from home the rest of the day. This project is now almost complete and I'm so sad about losing this arrangement.

    I mentioned this to my mentor during out recent reviews and asked if continuing to work from home might be an option. I'd still have daycare that day but I could pick my LO up at 5:30 instead if not getting home until 6:45 which is a huge difference to me.

    The feedback wasn't very supportive BUT I might still try and ask again. She gave me the same line- that it would be hard to say no to other people etc.

    That's BS to me. In my industry and my company everyone negotiated there own terms, I don't know what any other coworker gets paid and therefore I think if I want to ask for a certain arrangement then the question should just be- what value do I have to my company with those conditions.

    So yea I might have to take a slight pay cut- or less of a raise- or I might have to prove that I am just as valuable working one day from home, where someone else may not be able to prove that.

    So in short, I think you should be able to negotiate this arrangement if it's truly been working for over 2 years, but you do need to be willing to make a trade off or prove your case so that it's not just a favor to you.

    Good luck, I hope working from home days become more and more encouraged in the future for everyone!
  • Try for another day or ask about doing 4 10-hour days if possible.  

    And remember that Fridays off was a nice perk that only you are receiving.  Sure it sucks to be given it than have it taken away but they have to be fair across the board.  Try to look at it positively- they let you do this for 2 1/2 years more than anyone else...perspective?
  • I know working from home on Fridays must have been nice and while I agree with other posters I won't reiterate what they've said.

    Once you adjust to working from the office on Fridays, you may find that it isn't so bad. Of course it'll be an adjustment, but I work 5 days a week from the office and you and LO will get into a groove. Being employed is always a give and take, so while I understand your disappointment, keep perspective on the fact that they have "given" and now it's your time to "give".

  • Just agreeing with the others, if no one else is allowed to work from home and you were, that was nice but at some point, unless you negotiated that when taking the job to begin with, they can decide it is not working out. Kids or no kids should not matter when it comes to flexibility, other ppl have personal things that could use flexibility as well...
  • Trust me I get it. I'm just venting.
  • I agree with others that have said you should go to them with reasons why this makes you a better employee and how it can benefit them.  Someone mentioned having more flexibility to jump online after work or start your work day earlier, or something else that pertains to your situation.

    There were quite a few comments about it not being fair to other employees.  Coming from experience, everything is subjective and every situation might not be fair for others.  If you have been doing this for 2+ years and they are now saying they don't want you to do it anymore, I would guess there is more to it than "it's not fair to the other employees".  

    I work from home most and go into the office twice a month for 2 days at a time.  I work more than 3 hours from the office, so it's not possible for me to be there every day.  I worked there for 5 years prior to moving out of state when we got married.  And they have decided it was better to have me working from home than not have me at all.  I know others in my dept have made comments about wanting to work from home and my boss has told them no.  And, from what I understand, those are the people she wouldn't trust working from home and she has the ultimate decision in whether they are allowed to or not.

    Not saying your boss doesn't trust you, but maybe try to dig a little deeper to see if there is an underlying reason why it's not working any more.  I also like the suggestions of seeing if you can WFH on a different day of the week.  For people who live close to the office but are allowed to WFH 1 day a week, it is never allowed on a Monday or Friday at my company due to perception, as others have said.
  • Not sure if you need to be available the entire work day but I know my employer makes a few different arrangements with people to accommodate them but it isn't working from home.  For instance some people have negotiated starting their day an hour earlier so they can leave an hour earlier - for more family time at night.  Other people will take shorter lunch breaks all week and leave at 3pm on Fridays since they have 40 hours worked.  Not sure if any of those adjustments would work for you to have a little more family time during the week.  I think your best bet would be trying to work from home on a day other than Friday. 
    And when you are in the office don't talk about other "non" work things you do while you are working from home - even something like throwing in a load of laundry between phone calls, starting dinner or running errands on a lunch break.  While I have no problem that WFH people do those things, I really don't want to hear how great it is to work from home and catch up on small household chores when my employer isn't giving me that option.
  • I personally think it is the employer's problem if others are complaining - not yours. They need to get with the 21st century of people working remotely.

    The easy way out for the company was to ask you to come back to the office on Fridays and for you to agree, which you did. I personally would have fought it and politely said, "No thank you. The working from home on Fridays is working well for me professionally and personally. I have been at the company xx years, I have repeatedly been praised for my performance and promoted. I don't see any viable reason to change that."  Working those Fridays from home is the deal you made. you're not responsible for making deals for all the other employees. You aren't in their salary negotiations are you? It is individual based on the employee (at least thats' what I think).

    Be more confident in your value. But, you already agreed to go back to the office on Fridays so not sure what else you can do now to undo it.

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  • Well whats the most weird about all of this, that i never mentioned is.  In the beginning, she told me she is going to work with me because she has a child, and she knows what its like, blah blah blah. Then a year later, her tune totally changed, after praising and promoting me, so it really all doesnt make sense.  I have a good job and sometimes i feel blessed to be in the position i'm in, so i dont want to say or do anything that may backfire on me.  Who knows, maybe when i announce to her im pregnant with my second child, she'll bring something up. If not then i'll have to deal with it.
    My husband, is currently able to be home Mondays and Wednesday, so i'm thankful, i'll still only need 3 days of daycare, and now i won't have to pay the sitter on Fridays (although i'm still said im missing that day with her). 
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