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February 2015 Moms
BabyParker15
member
Inlaw bitchfest
BabyParker15
member
I'm seriously feeling like I cannot win.
We were nervous about MIL's reaction to getting pregnant and not "waiting a year after marriage". When we finally told her (Sunday), she had a flat emotion response and changed the subject (which is much better than just being a bitch but a little excitement wouldn't kill her). After we left, she called DH's brother who lives out of state and told him the news. DH and his brother are decently close and it frustrates me that she took that moment away from him.
I got a text from SIL who married DH's brother that one of DH's sisters made a comment that it's BIL and DH's turn to have kids, as they are the only two without any. This SIL was the only family member left that didn't know. I figured that MIL probably jumped on that boat too and called her. I don't have her phone number, so I sent her a private Facebook message announcing it to her. My hope was to get to her before MIL did so that it wouldn't be causing more damage. DH came home last night after helping his mom and stepdad with the tractor after work (a world I know nothing about) and informed me that he 'got in trouble' because I sent SIL a Facebook message announcement. That she is pissed at him because she was last to know and "had to find out through Facebook"
First of all, someone is going to have to be the last to know. That's just how it works. And secondly, it isn't like I posted on Facebook for my entire friends list to see. It was a private message between the two of us. She has my number. She could have given me hers months ago. And finally, this is the same sister who didn't tell anyone that she was getting married and went to the courthouse and told everyone about a week later.
I really feel like I am trying here and either just keep making really shotty choices or this inlaw deal is just straight bullshit. DH doesn't get any inlaw drama because my parents are both deceased. It's things like this that make me so sad that they are gone. I need their advice right now! Help me out instead? Am I messing up?
We were nervous about MIL's reaction to getting pregnant and not "waiting a year after marriage". When we finally told her (Sunday), she had a flat emotion response and changed the subject (which is much better than just being a bitch but a little excitement wouldn't kill her). After we left, she called DH's brother who lives out of state and told him the news. DH and his brother are decently close and it frustrates me that she took that moment away from him.
I got a text from SIL who married DH's brother that one of DH's sisters made a comment that it's BIL and DH's turn to have kids, as they are the only two without any. This SIL was the only family member left that didn't know. I figured that MIL probably jumped on that boat too and called her. I don't have her phone number, so I sent her a private Facebook message announcing it to her. My hope was to get to her before MIL did so that it wouldn't be causing more damage. DH came home last night after helping his mom and stepdad with the tractor after work (a world I know nothing about) and informed me that he 'got in trouble' because I sent SIL a Facebook message announcement. That she is pissed at him because she was last to know and "had to find out through Facebook"
First of all, someone is going to have to be the last to know. That's just how it works. And secondly, it isn't like I posted on Facebook for my entire friends list to see. It was a private message between the two of us. She has my number. She could have given me hers months ago. And finally, this is the same sister who didn't tell anyone that she was getting married and went to the courthouse and told everyone about a week later.
I really feel like I am trying here and either just keep making really shotty choices or this inlaw deal is just straight bullshit. DH doesn't get any inlaw drama because my parents are both deceased. It's things like this that make me so sad that they are gone. I need their advice right now! Help me out instead? Am I messing up?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Inlaw bitchfest
In my opinion I don't think you did anything wrong. If anything, I think your DH could have been a little bit better prepared. I consider it DH's job to notify his siblings and the siblings job to tell their spouses/families about it...or to at least have a plan of how he wants everyone to find out. Once you tell one family member word is going to travel fast.
It sounds like you've just gotten caught up in the middle of a complicated family dynamic. Just feel relieved that everyone knows now and you can get back to being so excited for your own growing family!
Overall: you didn't do anything wrong, but from now on maybe let DH deal with his family so they can't find reasons to pull you into their bs drama!
Sorry his family seem to be a bunch of asshats. Wtf is wrong with people?!
I had the same problem when we first got married. Now after almost 9 years, I think that they somewhat respect me as a person and a mother. It wasn't always like that. I always felt compared to someone else. So I stopped caring, and found they were actually nicer to me
Hugs to you during this! Enjoy your pregnancy! You matter!
I'd probably say "fuck it" and let them be pissed off at this point. I am not a very good diplomat tho.
It really bothers the fuck out of me when I see a woman who's 7+ months pregnant puffing away on a cigarette! It's like, HEY! You're not the one that effing matters here anymore! Show a little consideration for the person growing inside of you who hasnt even had a shot at a healthy life! I just recently found out that my mom smoked while she was pregnant with me, and I screamed at her for it! She's lucky I was born healthy and disorder free. Jimminy Crickets people make me so angry sometimes!
They also didn't know everything that we know now, but she still knew that it was bad for pregnancy, regardless of size and weight to the child.