bad wife? — The Bump
11 Weeks Pregnant

bad wife?

I have been feeling so terrible since 5 weeks- nausea, exhaustion, constipation, headaches, achy muscles, bloat, rhinitis... you name it, I've got it. Until this past weekend, no one else knew I was pregnant so I could only talk to my husband about it. We live in the town I grew up in and all his friends are oversees, so he has no one to grab a beer with and talk or laugh about the tribulations of pregnancy. Sunday I got him a funny dad-to-be book and he's reading that now, but I feel like I am a constant drain on him. I told him all of this yesterday, but he didn't really say much like "It's ok, I know you don't feel well." He barely said anything at all, just listened. I don't know what I was expecting but it didn't make me feel much better. He is doing about 90% of the housework right now, and I can only cook sometimes. He has never once complained or acted like I was a burden or that he was angry he had to do more.

I want to do or plan something nice for him so he knows how much I appreciate his support, but I also want to give him a break from me never being in good spirits. I am not moping around all day, I just am quieter and not peppy. Not to mention I am super emotional just the last few days, and feel terrible, like I'm doing this to him. I know everyone will say not to be hard on myself, but I need to do something for him so we both feel better about everything. Any ideas?


Re: bad wife?

  • You're not a bad wife.  I totally understand what you're saying though.  Things I've been doing to ease my own guilt for being out of commission are:  watch football, which I hate doing, but I do it a lot now b/c he loves it.  Anytime an opportunity for him to do something with friends does come up, let him go.  Send him golfing with his dad.  Order food before he comes home so neither one of you has to cook, yay BW3 wings and throw away dishes!  And of course always tell him how much you appreciate him.
  • I felt the same way! Been feeling sick makes me feel drained and jut not much fun : My husband has been so great like yours. I think even something small can help! My husband mentioned a while ago how he loved that back when we were dating I use to pick up cards and write him sweet notes. A few weeks later when I was out one day I picked up a cute card. I wrote about how much I appreciate everything he's doing and what a great husband and father he is. He loved it!! Said it meant a lot to him and it was something easy that I could actually handle! :
    Calling in dinner is a great idea too though!
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  • I think everyone already gave you some great ideas.  I have kind of been down in the dumps and very emotional -- especially with my high stress, crazy work schedule.  We just have to do the best we can.  Thanks for posting this.  I try to be nicer to my husband too and make dinner, etc, but he doesn't really appreciate any of it. 
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • Just appreciate it and let him know that. Unexpected take out would be good...tell him he deserves a night off!
  • Am I the only jerk who thinks that it is already unresonable that I have to feel like crap and he doesn't, and threrfore I expect him to pick up the slack? Maybe because he wanted a baby more than I did, but I don't feel like rewarding him for doing the dishes while I lie on the sofa trying not to barf.
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