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April 2015 Moms
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DH just doesn't understand...

balcerekcbalcerekc member
in April 2015 Moms
Morning ladies!

DH is not understanding of my symptoms very much at all. I'm normally pretty active but the nausea and exhaustion has wiped me out. He tries to get me up early because I've "been sleeping forever". I have been going to bed around 9-930 but I don't think it's much to ask to sleep past 7 am when I normally work night shift and it's my day off. I haven't been napping during the day either. Then when the nausea hits he's like just get up and do something you'll feel better. I know he's trying to help but when I'm nauseous I can barely stand. I don't mean to complain but how can I talk to him to help him understand how I'm feeling and that I can't exactly help it?
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Re: DH just doesn't understand...

  • jmhansen11jmhansen11 member
    Girrrl, I think I'd probably say something along the lines of "get off my ass! I'm growing a human!" Then maybe gift him a "for new dads" pregnancy book :).
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  • redheaded14redheaded14 member
    I like @snegde' s suggestion.  Hopefully he'll understand that you need your rest soon!
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  • LRL131LRL131 member
    My DH read a book that he really liked with my last pregnancy. He said it was informative but also funny so it was easier to read. He said it helped him understand what I was going through a lot better. I'll go look for it when I get home so I can get you the title.

    Married Since July 2012

    DS1 Born via C-Section - 6/21/2013

    BFP#2 7/28/2014, EDD 04/07/2015


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  • balcerekcbalcerekc member
    Thanks for all the advice! He definitely seems to receive things better when it doesn't come from me and I know this whole pregnancy thing is so incredibly far out of his comfort zone. I'm trying to be as patient with him as I can but some days it's a little harder to deal with than others. I will be book shopping today!
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  • babyfran200babyfran200 member
    I was having problems expressing how crappy I feel sometimes as well. I tried to put it in a way he'd really get. I said , "remember when we both got the flu and even when we weren't getting sick anymore, nothing looked good and we were so tired?.... I feel that way a lot of the time now." I'm not sure he 100% understands but I think that resonated more so than just telling him I didn't feel good. I hope you feel so much better and congrats :) from one tired lady to another haha
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  • freespirit91freespirit91 member
    Sometimes husbands just don't get it. Mine thinks I'm being overly dramatic when I talk about my symptoms. I would sit down and have a talk with your hubs though, really let him know how you feel....and when all else fails a good ole smack to the face should help.
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  • Mireille LeBlancMireille LeBlanc member
    Ok, so you guys are way more helpful than I. I was going to say get up and then if you get sick, just be sick on him. His fault. Bet he'd leave you alone after that! lol Ok, so I'm kidding. But don't tell me you haven't thought about it! haha
    When I was pregnant with DD, there was a point where I went to bed at 7:30pm and got up at 8:00am. So you are definitely not sleeping too much. I think getting him a book is a great idea.
    I used to send him a summary of the weekly email I got from TB too, and when I thought it would be helpful, I'd get him to watch the video for that week. Try to get him involved. Sometimes they feel left out and miss you. If you can get him involved, he might be happy to help, even if it's just by being quiet in the morning.
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  • 70point370point3 member
    I got "my boys can swim" for DP. It's got a bit of man humor with it too which he likes and seems to get. He's been 10 kinds of supportive with naps, back rubs, etc....

    Or the not-so-subtle reminder that you're growing a person. HIS person. Might help too. GL!!
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  • itshumpdayitshumpday member
    I don't have any advice since MH has only known for 2 days so I can't except much.  We planned for it and we tried really hard and now that it has happened-we are both kinda in shock lol.  Hoping that in the next few weeks he starts to get more into it (he's happy and excited just doesn't want to talk about it 24/7 like I do).  My best friend explained it in a good way...babies and pregnancy are just so abstract to men and will be likely until they see a belly pop out or feel a kick or even see the baby!  
    Just wanted to say thanks @snegde for the book rec.  Bought it on Amazon :)

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