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December 2014 Moms
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Baby Shower before or after the baby is born?

ecopenecopen member
in December 2014 Moms
We are expecting a baby with CDH (congenital diaphragmatic hernia) where his organs are a bit rearranged.  For those of you that don't know what it is - it's a rare birth defect that just happens randomly to 1 in 5000 babies (no genetic factors and I definitely didn't cause it).  Our little boy (our first) will be born in December and has a 90% chance of survival.  He'll go into surgery right away and then to the NICU until he can breathe on his own.  As far as CDH goes, he has a really mild case (generally these babies have 50% or less survival rate) and the doctors and surgeons say we are really lucky, but there is always a chance he won't survive the surgery.  If he does, he'll look and act the same as every other little boy and there will be no long term effects.  So we were wondering if we should have the baby shower in November as planned, or just wait until after he's born - home and healthy in January or something.  None of our friends know what is going on yet.  During this time we're still making sure he grows properly with bi-monthly ultrasounds to keep that 90% chance of survival.  What would you guys do?
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Re: Baby Shower before or after the baby is born?

  • PDXLaurenSPDXLaurenS member
    Maybe doing something small in November and something bigger in January as a double celebration when your little one gets a clean bill of health and goes home? Good luck, that's a tough call!

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  • xc1148xc1148 member
    I'm sorry to hear you're dealing with that but it sounds like you have a great chance at a positive outcome :) T&P for the best!

    Honestly I would do whatever YOU feel comfortable with. Do you want a shower before to relax/celebrate/get organized? Will you be okay telling people details or not telling them anything? Are you sure you'll want a party in January...at one month you might not even feel like showering, let alone leaving the house!
    TTC since June 2011
    DH: perfect SA
    Me: 30, moderate endo, unexplained infertility
    IUI or IVF in December



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  • RayRay007RayRay007 member
    I'm sorry you have to even think about this. I don't really have any ideas or advice, as it is common here to have showers after a baby is born, so I have no experience with having one before. 

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    bfp#4 3/19/2014 edd 12/1/2014 please let this be the one!

    beta @ 5w0d = 12,026! u/s 4/22/14 @ 8w1d it's twins!

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  • perfectlove09perfectlove09 member
    Oh in sorry you're going through this.
    And this is a really tough call. I think a shower in November is a good idea,...since you're LO has a 90% chance of survival. That's so high and really good.
    If it was 50% I'd be more inclined to wait until February bc coming home from the hospital to a well stocked home w/o a baby would be too traumatic for me personally to handle. (I didn't even want to bring that up , I feel bad but I'm sure it's what you're worried about)

    You're getting a lot if check ups between now and November. If things start looking unfavorable then you can always ask people to hold off until baby is home with you.

    Really it sounds like you have great odds on your side. A shower could be very relaxing :)
    Lilypie Maternity tickers
    DD#1 December '12
    DD#2 New Year's Baby '15
    Married 07/09
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  • ebilbaoebilbao member
    A shower in November might be tainted with some fear and trepidation. You should do what you feel is going to make you feel best. I hope you are able to remain positive and that your son grows to be a happy, healthy little boy!
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