Marriage Advice

Re: Marriage Advice

• BookishMomma member

  August 2014

  Communication is key! Whenever DH and I aren't taking the time to communicate with one another, that's when we tend to get in arguments

  

  
  

  DX: I'm a Recurrent Loser

  Me (35) + DH (37) - Married Sept. 2007

  BFP #1 - DS born 7/11/11

  BFP#2 11/13/13 - EDD 7/29/14 - M/C at 5w3d

  BFP #3 12/28/13 - EDD 9/7/14 - M/C at 4w6d

  BFP#4 3/27/14 -  EDD 12/5/14 - Girl lost to 45X at 8w6d - D&C 

  BFP#5 10/15/14 - EDD 6/30/15 - M/C at 7w2d

  BFP #6 1/5/15 - EDD 9.16.14 [CLICKY for progress]

  In search of a 

  
  

  
  

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• paintdadanta member

  August 2014

  Compromise is my biggest advice that I have learned. But we also had all the guests at our wedding write on wooden hearts their marriage advice for us and over half say "Don't go to bed angry."

  ---

  

  BFP #1 05/19/14, EDD 01/19/15, MMC 06/12/14 

   BFP #2 10/10/14, EDD 06/19/15

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• MSU_Girl1202 member

  August 2014

  Happy anniversary lady!!! Hmm things I've learned: - I got married really young and the best thing I learned was to grow with my spouse. For us, it was grow with each other or get left behind. It wasn't easy, but it was pretty cool growing up together. That and never go to bed angry :-)

  Married 07/2006, TTC since 2010
  08/2011: Clomid 50mg, IUI --> BFN  ,
  10/2011: Clomid 100mg, IUI --> BFN
  04/13: Clomid, IUI BFP --> MC at 6w1d
  05/13: Femara 2.5mg, IUI --> BFN  , 08/13: Femara 2.5mg --> BFN
  03/14: Femara 5mg, IUI --> 1 follicle @ 27d --> BFP! EDD 12/02/14--> blighted ovum, missed MC 6w6d --> D&C
  4/23: D&C...starting over again, with a little part of my heart broken off

  5/31: Femara 7.5mg --> cancelled cycle, no follies
  7/14: Femara 5mg + brevelle + menopur + IUI --> converted to IVF, ER 7/28 --> ET cancelled due to severe OHSS.
  9/20/14:  Frozen Embryo Transfer --> BFP--> EDD 6/6/15 --> MC at 5w3d  
  10/16/14: Frozen Embryo Transfer --> BFN
  2/6/15: Frozen Embryo Transfer --> BFP --> MC at 5w4d
  3/20/16: PGS-tested Frozen Embryo Transfer --> BFP, Living Child born 12/1/15
  6/6/17: Fresh IVF Cycle --> Severe OHSS, 5 PGS-tested embryos frozen
  2/23/18: PGS-tested FET --> BFN
  3/30/18: Cancelled cycle due to lining 4.2mm
  

  6/21/18: PGS-tested FET --> BFN
  

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• blackbird818 member

  August 2014

  paintdadanta said:

  Compromise is my biggest advice that I have learned. But we also had all the guests at our wedding write on wooden hearts their marriage advice for us and over half say "Don't go to bed angry."

  People always say this. :-? Honestly mine would be the opposite. "...if you can't solve an argument, sleep on it and if you're still mad when you wake up, readdress the issue" I know for myself I sometimes need to clear my head and get perspective. Most things don't seem as big of a deal after a night's sleep.
  
  
  Plus I get cranky when I'm tired....so that's not going to help solve a fight/problem
  (:|

  TTC since Sept 2012
  M/C on 5/01/13 at 8 wks
  AF finally appeared 11 wks later per Provera
  Diagnosed with PCOS on 7/29/13
  Three Failed Medicated Cycles, NTNP Indefinitely
  BFP #2 9/14/14, EDD 5/23/14...MMC discovered @ 9w2d; D&C 10/23/14
  

  
   
   
  
  My Chart
  
  ***** All ALers welcome *****
  

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• mara005 member

  August 2014

  Happy Anniversary!
  
  I have always felt it was ok (and helpful) to have fights but once it's over and you have cooled off, you need to say sorry, hug it out and explain your side.
  

  
  

  "Love is what makes pain bearable." - I love you my Angels. 

  **All After a Loss Welcome**
  BFP #1: 6/25/09 EDD 2/13/10 @ 6 weeks- Saw HB @ 9 weeks - DS born 2/11/10 (39w5d)
  BFP #2: 2/20/13 EDD 11/4/13 - Saw HB 3/19/13 (7w2d) - MMC discovered 4/13/13 (10w5d) - Est. loss @ 9w3d - D&C 4/14/13
  

  BFP #3: 12/19/13 (4 w1d) EDD 8/27/14 - 1/1/14 discovered it was ectopic/ tube had burst/ had surgery to remove tube (@ 6 weeks)
  BFP #4: 9/10/14 (3w6d) EDD 5/21/15 - natural MC 9/23/14 @ 5w5d
  BFP #5: 11/23/14 (3w3d) EDD 8/4/15 - Please be our Rainbow! 

  
  

  

  
  

  
  

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• paintdadanta member

  August 2014

  blackbird818 said:

  paintdadanta said:

  Compromise is my biggest advice that I have learned. But we also had all the guests at our wedding write on wooden hearts their marriage advice for us and over half say "Don't go to bed angry."

  People always say this. :-? Honestly mine would be the opposite. "...if you can't solve an argument, sleep on it and if you're still mad when you wake up, readdress the issue" I know for myself I sometimes need to clear my head and get perspective. Most things don't seem as big of a deal after a night's sleep.
  
  
  Plus I get cranky when I'm tired....so that's not going to help solve a fight/problem
  (:|

  Same here! But I also have a nasty habit of leaving to go ride rather than going to bed instead. We did find it quite funny that we ended up with 25 hearts saying the same thing though. Oh, and happy anniversary! 

  ---

  

  BFP #1 05/19/14, EDD 01/19/15, MMC 06/12/14 

   BFP #2 10/10/14, EDD 06/19/15

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• O2girl member

  August 2014

  Happy anniversary mr and mrs bird!
  
  What I've learned about relationships....
  Compliment each other often
  
  Remember that you aren't always going to like each other, and that is ok and normal
  
  Communicate because while each of us knows the other quite well...... We aren't a crystal ball yo!

  Me: 38
  DX:  Adenomyosis, Compounded MTHFR, PAI-1 4G variant
  
  DH: 34
  MFI due to Testicular Cancer
  
  Married March 2012
  IVF w/ICSI #1
  10 little polar bears
  FET #1 with 2 polar bears ~Nov 6, 2013 BFN
  FET # 2 with 2 more polar bears ~March 19, 2014 BFP!!!
  Beta 1= 276
  Beta 2= 662
  4/19/14 ~ baby A became an angel
  5/02/14 ~ baby B became an angel
  5/3/14 ~ D&C
  FET #3 with 1 male polar bear ~October 3, 2014
  October 13, 2014 ~ BFN
  Fur Children:  Memphis 3y, Dutch 3y, Marcel 2y, Meadow 1y
  
  
  
  
  January 2015 Siggy Challenge TTCAL
  Animals Interacting with Snow
  
  
  
  

  
  

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• kate6214 member

  August 2014

  1. Communication. The phrase that has saved my marriage is "so what you're saying is..." And summerizing what the other person said before launching into our own thoughts on a matter. Tis has helped to diffuse countless fights into civilized conversations.

  2. Date nights. Tonight we are staying in and eating wings and watching football. It doesn't have to be complicated, but its important to continue to date each other.

  
  

  BFP #1: 8/17/13     Due Date: 4/26/14      MMC discovered @ 9w 4d       D&C: 10/2/13

  BFP #2: 12/23/13       Due Date: 9/6/14      MMC discovered @ 8w 5d    D&C: 2/6/14

  BFP #3 8/26/14     Due Date: 5/7/15  

  
  

  

  
  

  
  

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• MrsPhD83 member

  August 2014

  Happy anniversary! I agree with PP, communication is so important!

  --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  Me: 31, DH: 30, Married July 2013
  TTC since March 2014
  BFP#1  5.17.14, EDD 1.26.15, MMC (measuring 6w3d at 8w3d), D&C 6.26.14
  BFP#2  9.19.14, EDD 5.29.15, AF on 9.23.14 CP
  BFP#3  12.17.14, EDD 8.25.15, AF on 12.21.14 CP#2
  
  Current plan: TTC while waiting for RPL results to come back
  Stalk my ute
  

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• kittymeowbark member

  August 2014

  Happy Anniversary!
  
  
  All the PP hit the key points:
  -communication
  -appreciation
  -romance
  -trust
  -etc.
  
  I would like to also add:
  Give each other a chance to miss one another. Sometimes my H (or I) need some space to go out with friends or spend the evening hanging out in separate rooms. We respect that and let the other person have their space.
  

  Yelena + Rubere Married: 05/13/2011
  TTC since 2012
  BFP#1~  EDD: 06/21/2014  ~  TFMR --Holoprosencephaly 
  Said goodbye on 2/10/2014 at 21 weeks. We miss our baby girl "J"
  My Chart
  
  
  
        

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• Lalalady54 member

  August 2014

  Happy Anniversary! My advice: always remember why you chose your husband and keep choosing him everyday.
  
  I also agree about communication, growing with them, dating, laughing, making time for them.

  BFP #1-- 8-25-12, DD Born 5-1-13 

  BFP #2-- 5-6-14, MMC 6-13-14, D&C 6-13-14

  BFP #3 -- 8-26-14, EDD 5-10-15 

  
  

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• blackbird818 member

  August 2014 edited August 2014

  HoldingOutHope said:

  Happy anniversary, love!!
  
  For me, it's all about the little things. I like to leave him little love notes - even just an "I love you" on a post-it on his side of the mirror, or whatever. And the fact that he always opens my car door for me, etc., just melts my heart. Having already been in a failed marriage, I can say with certainty that these little things make a HUGE difference!
  

  Thanks love!!
  
  I joke that there are lots of benefits of being married to a man that's been married before bc he's "already been trained" and "been around the block" and he gets that it's not all sunshine & roses all the time. Plus after living as a bachelor for 5-6yrs post-divorce...he is self-sufficient and appreciates what I do around the house & voices it.
  
  I couldn't agree more with the bolded!!
  
  And the red, H does this too and I love it!
  

  TTC since Sept 2012
  M/C on 5/01/13 at 8 wks
  AF finally appeared 11 wks later per Provera
  Diagnosed with PCOS on 7/29/13
  Three Failed Medicated Cycles, NTNP Indefinitely
  BFP #2 9/14/14, EDD 5/23/14...MMC discovered @ 9w2d; D&C 10/23/14
  

  
   
   
  
  My Chart
  
  ***** All ALers welcome *****
  

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• Km380 member

  August 2014 edited August 2014

  Happy anniversary! Continue to have date nights, tell each other I love you, always kiss good bye, hold hands. We have found the little things you did like this when first dating can fall away, but they're so important. Make a conscious effort in your marriage everyday. Remember you both handle situations differently.
  But I don't believe in don't go to bed angry. Sometimes both people need to calm down. And then apologize, or accept the apology.
  
  Eta - I got really nervous by your title! I thought someone was having marriage problems.

  PgAL welcome

  
  

  Married 6/11/2011
  

  Me & Hubby: 34

  TTC journey started 12/2012

  BFP #1 6/5/2013, MC confirmed 6/26/2013 @ 7 wks

  BFP#2 8/25/2013 MC confirmed 10/16/2013 @ 12 wks (D&C 10/18)

  Diagnosis: unexplained RPL, unexplained IF.

  Also have hypothyroidism

  Started TTC again 12/2013

   

  IUI#1:Clomid CD 3-7, Trigger'ed CD 12. IUI CD 14. BFN

  IUI #2:Letrozole CD 3 - 7, Follistim CD 9, Trigger CD 10, IUI CD12. BFN

  Current plan: IVF with PGD. Antagonist - Vivelle Protocal. Stim start 12/1. ER 12/14.

  http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/502498
  

   

  
  

  
  

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• blackbird818 member

  August 2014 edited August 2014

  Lalalady54 said:

  Happy Anniversary! My advice: always remember why you chose your husband and keep choosing him everyday. I also agree about communication, growing with them, dating, laughing, making time for them.

  This is awesome!!! What a great piece of advice!!
  
  edit wording
  

  TTC since Sept 2012
  M/C on 5/01/13 at 8 wks
  AF finally appeared 11 wks later per Provera
  Diagnosed with PCOS on 7/29/13
  Three Failed Medicated Cycles, NTNP Indefinitely
  BFP #2 9/14/14, EDD 5/23/14...MMC discovered @ 9w2d; D&C 10/23/14
  

  
   
   
  
  My Chart
  
  ***** All ALers welcome *****
  

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• cm312rn member

  August 2014

  First off... I this post!  Sometimes reading happy posts makes my day!

  
  

  Happy anniversary!

  
  

  My advice: Never go to bed angry, don't forget the little things (i love you's, hand holding, surprise kisses), and always make time to listen.  I know with DH and I, our work schedules are so crazy and sometimes opposite of each other but even when I'm dead tired, I make an effort to listen to how his day went, etc

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• mrsjg2013 member

  August 2014

  Happy Anniversary @blackbird818!!!
  
  Lots of great advice here!!   What I would have originally said has already been said... several times!!  So, I'm pondering what "out of the box" advice I have, and my two-cents that you don't have to "like" everything your husband does to love him unconditionally.  There are times when little things drive me crazy, or I just wish he'd do something differently- it's been hard (especially b/c I'm a control freak & a perfectionist), but sometimes I just have to say to myself, "I love this man more than words can say, even if he clips his nails on the carpet, forgets to put his dishes in the sink, and is the definition of an only child."  So instead of nagging, I just think of something I love about him when I notice a habit I don't like.  He would probably laugh and say that I still nag more than I should, but he doesn't know how many times I bite my tongue  
  
  Also, as much as women need to be felt loved, men need to feel respected.  It's what drives them.  So many times when he's angry about something I don't understand, it boils down to him feeling disrespected- even though it wasn't my intention.
  

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• rubysi member

  August 2014

  We have been married nearly 16 years...

  
  

  Remember the wonderful little things.
  

  Forget the little irritations.

  
  

  Love each other and say it.

  Be honest.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  Have fun together.

  
  

  
  

  

              ***TTCAL January siggy challenge ***

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• jjbmstinco member

  August 2014

  Happy anniversary!  

  
  

  It takes 2 to fight.  Is is not all your fault or all his fault.  

  
  

                       
  

  
  

  Married-1/2012

  TTC-8/2013   BFP-4/18/14  EDD: 12/29/12 MC-5/17/14 @ 7w4d

  BFP #2-11/13/14  EDD: 7/26/14  Beta #1: 11/14/13 (135 progesterone: 19.5)   Beta #2" 11/17/14 (733 ) 

  Hoping for good news!

  
  

  Everyone Welcome

  
  

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• Poppy715 member

  August 2014

  Happy anniversary BB!
  
  My advice is just because it isn't your way doesn't mean it's the wrong way. DH always fold the clothes "the wrong way" but I have to remind myself at least he's helping!!
  
  I also advocate for fighting fair. Not bringing up issues that have been resolved. If you are over it then truly be over it. If not keep discussing. I love the no put downs in front of others. You have to be on each others side.
  
  Enjoy your evening together! Have great anniversary sex!

        THE DARK SIDE IT IS

   and GBCB

      

  
  

  BFP 8/2/12 EDD 4/9/13 Addie was delivered 1/4/13 at 26 weeks due to Eclampsia  

  BFP 9/15/14 EDD 5/28/15 Please be our R A I N B O W take home baby BOY
  

  
  ~All AL always welcome~

   

   

  
  

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• aves0708 member

  August 2014

  Happy Anniversary!!  There has been so much great advice already...
  
  I completely agree that it's all about the little things.  DH and I always thank each other when someone does the dishes or the laundry or vacuums etc.  A simple thank you to show appreciation can go so far. 
  
  When you fight, don't make it dirty.  You know each other the best.  You know what makes the other happy, scared, sad, vulnerable and using that against your partner during a fight, can't be taken back.  DH and don't argue often, but when we do we are never mean to each other. 
  
  Try something new every once and a while!  I have so much fun when DH and I do something different, like a new restaurant out of our comfort zone, or we went cross country skiing once.  DH hated it but every time we think about it we laugh. 
  

  
  

  Me (29): Hashimoto's, CD3/7DPO bloodwork & ultrasound normal, HSG & SHG(x2) all clear
  DH (29): SA Perfect
  TTC Since Jan '13, First RE Appt Jan '14
  DX: Unspecified Ovarian Dysfunction, Long Cycles
  May '13 BFP, C/P 4w3d
  Apr '14:  50mg clomid + ovidrel + B2B IUI #1=BFP,  Natural M/C 6.5wks
  

  Aug '14: 50mg clomid + ovidrel + B2B IUI #2=BFN
  Oct '14: 100mg clomid + ovidrel + IUI#3 =BFN
  Nov 14: 100mg clomid + ovidrel + B2B IUI#4=slow response, bad lining, cancelled
  FU with RE, more bloodwork: Anticardiolipin +
  Dec 14: 5mg Letrozole+baby aspirin +ovidrel + B2B IUI#4.1=BFFN
  Jan '15: 5mg Letrozole +baby aspirin + ovidrel +B2B IUI #5= BFP!! 

  Beta #1 210  Beta #2 546
  
  
  

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• Lesliem0901 member

  August 2014 edited August 2014

  Happy anniversary lovely lady!! Everyone has great advice. Mine is simple. Hug. Hug long and hold on tight.

  Siggy Warning
  
  
  TTC#1 since June 2012

  Dx: Unexplained Infertility / AMA

  BFP after 4th IUI cycle with Gonal F + Ovidrel on March 2014 | EDD 12/7/14 | MMC on 4/14/14 

  IUI#5 with Gonal F and Ovidrel trigger on 6/6 - BFN

  On to IVF #1 with a new RE. Started Gonal F and Menopur on 8/15.  Added Ganirelix on 8/24. Trigger on 8/26 for ER on 8/28. 8R 7M 3F.  Transferred all 3 on 8/31. BFP on 9/11 | EDD 5/20/15 - Beta #1: 56.7. Beta #2: 97. Beta #3: 1148. Beta #4: 3559. Beta #4: 7678. MMC confirmed on 10/13. D&C on 10/14 at 9w. Confirmed male with Trisomy 14.

  On to IVF #2 in March. CCS Testing on 2 embies. No go. Waiting to start IVF #3 in July. Surprise BFP on 6/14! EDD - 2/20/16 - Beta #1: 121.4. Beta #2: 236.4. Beta #3: 2014.
  

  

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• meredithcarole member

  August 2014

  I hope you have a fabulous anniversary!
  
  DH and I try to hold hands when we are having a serious discussion. It is hard to lash out at someone when you are holding their hand.

  TTCAL January Siggy Challenge: Animals in the Snow

  
  

  
  

  
  

    

  About Me: 

  
  

  AMA 35 :  DH 33

  BFP#1 1/26/14 (EDD: 10/7/14).  MMC 3/10/14 D&C 3/14/14

  RE Consult 11/3/14 - AMH 2.25 "great" . FSH 7.10 . Low Vitamin D

  Myomectomy 12/17/14.  Benched until March.

  
  

  
  

  
  My Ovulation Chart

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• MBJune member

  August 2014

  Happy Anniversary!!!!
  Everyone had such great advice!
  I just wanted to add, kiss and hug every day! It helps me feel closer to my DH and more grounded.

  Dx: PCOS/Unexplained
  July '13 - Mar '14 - Letrozole and TI - BFN
  April '14 - HSG - All clear - Letrozole, Trigger and IUI - BFP
  May '14 - Miscarriage 5w 3d
  July '14 - Letrozole, Trigger and IUI - BFN

  Aug '14 - Letrozole, Trigger and IUI - BFN

  Sept '14 - Letrozole, Trigger and IUI - BFP

  Beta 1 - 87  Beta 2 - 193  Beta 3 - 441
  SA - All good
  ALL Welcome
  
  
  

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• blackbird818 member

  August 2014

  Poppy715 said:

  Happy anniversary BB! My advice is just because it isn't your way doesn't mean it's the wrong way. DH always fold the clothes "the wrong way" but I have to remind myself at least he's helping!! I also advocate for fighting fair. Not bringing up issues that have been resolved. If you are over it then truly be over it. If not keep discussing. I love the no put downs in front of others. You have to be on each others side. Enjoy your evening together! Have great anniversary sex!

  Thanks Poppy!! This is a great thing to remember! I struggle with this sometimes as a control freak/perfectionist lol
  
  
  
  PS It was great!   :-$

  TTC since Sept 2012
  M/C on 5/01/13 at 8 wks
  AF finally appeared 11 wks later per Provera
  Diagnosed with PCOS on 7/29/13
  Three Failed Medicated Cycles, NTNP Indefinitely
  BFP #2 9/14/14, EDD 5/23/14...MMC discovered @ 9w2d; D&C 10/23/14
  

  
   
   
  
  My Chart
  
  ***** All ALers welcome *****
  

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