Going back to work, but not excited.

Aussie45 · August 2014

I am looking to hear from people who weren't particularly excited about going back to work. Or anyone really. I didn't have a career before I had DD and just worked jobs that paid the bills. I worked all through my pregnancy and have stayed at home with DD after she was born.

Through circumstances I won't share online, DH and I have talked extensively about whether or not being a SAHM is for me. We decided a while back that I should go back to work. I've been applying to different places and I'm really looking for something that fits what I want, and not just jumping at whatever job is offered to me.

I guess as time goes on and I keep applying to places, I get nervous. I know that's probably normal, but at the same time, I'm not really excited to go back to work. I know it would probably be better for me as I don't do good being by myself all day with DD (get really lonely, etc.), but I just can't seem to get excited about this.

It seems impossible to clean, take care of DD, make dinner and grocery shop, along with making time to work out ever. There just don't seem to be enough hours in the day. DH is also working towards getting his CPA so he has about two hours after work which are spent with DD and then he has to hit the books. I know he wouldn't mind splitting chores, but with him doing the CPA it seems crazy to ask. He'll have even less time than me!

Kudos to you working mom, because it seems impossible to get everything done that you do!

Any words of wisdom for going back to work? Maybe share your schedules or cheats to get things done during the week. Basically I'm looking for anything that'll reassure me that things will be ok

Aussie45 · August 2014

And holy shit balls sorry for the novel

Aussie45 · August 2014

I'm glad to know I'm not the only one with reservations. I have never had a job be a career and it's always just been to bring in money. I would love to find a job that I really love or even can tolerate, because almost every job I've had in the past I've hated. I'm just scared that I'll go back and not enjoy it and still be missing time with DD, which makes me want to cry buckets.

When you guys say it's a hard adjustment do you mean to just really get in the groove of things or do you miss your LOs a ton all the time and that never gets better?

Beevol · August 2014

I had a "career" when I had DD so that was one less conflict when I went back to work, but even so, with a job I love, it's scary to make a big change. My DH is self-employed and works ridiculous long hours - he will often come home for one hour at DD's bedtime, then head straight back to work. So I do a lot of the making dinner, doing the dishes, and daily chores, but DH is really good about taking up the slack on weekends with the weekly chores like grocery shopping/laundry/cleaning the bathroom. It forces us to be a team in a way that's been really good for our relationship.

Another good thing about having a job is that it made us put DD in daycare/preschool, it's amazing what a difference it's made for her in the past few months in terms of her social skills. Quality preschool programs can make a huge difference in terms of kindergarten readiness if only because it teaches kids how to negotiate social situations and non-parental authority early (not to mention the teaching aspect which there's greater variety both in terms of the quality of the program and the amount the SAH parent has had training in child development/education).

mlee116 · August 2014

I wasn't really excited to go back to work after I had DS and I liked my job fine. It was just so overwhelming to think juggling it all and I really wanted to SAH, but we couldn't do it on DH's salary. So back to work I went! I think its normal to be nervous because change can be scary.

For me, the idea of going back to work was a lot more overwhelming than the reality. Yes, some days were hard and there are never enough hours in the day, but once we got in a routine, it wasn't bad at all. Being organized helps IMO, so I *try* to meal plan or at least have some really easy things on hand to eat so that dinner isn't a huge task everyday. DH and I split house cleaning and chores and it all gets done eventually. There are days that our house isn't perfect, but who cares?

I know some of the ladies on here hire someone to clean and I'm really considering that after I have baby #2.

The adjustment was hard because of both things you said: getting into the groove and missing LO. However, they both get better with time. I still have days where I miss DS, but it helps to know that he loves school and I love hearing about his little friends and what they did that day. DH and I also make spending time with him our #1 priority. If I feel like I haven't enough quality time with him for whatever reason, I'll leave work a couple of hours early every once in awhile and go pick him up for some extra one-on-one time.

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