Sunday Ticker Change Check In

jess123456 · August 2014

Welcome back to another Sunday check in and congrats to you all on another week! If your week turns over on Sunday, please join us.

How many weeks/fruit?

How are you feeling?

Any upcoming or recent appointments or milestones?

Thoughts/vents:

QOTW: How are you coping with being pregnant after loss? What and/or who has helped you with your pregnant after loss journey?

jess123456 · August 2014

How many weeks/fruit?

28 weeks and he is the size of an eggplant.

How are you feeling?

I've been feeling good physically this week just lots of sciatic pain and some trouble sleeping. I can feel the heaviness in my body and I become short of breath quite easily.

Any upcoming or recent appointments or milestones?

I have a regular check up this week and an ultrasound the following week.

Thoughts/vents:

I'm really ready to meet my little man. I feel like I've been pregnant for so long even though I still have a bit to go. I've really been cherishing this time getting ready for him (researching a pediatrician, getting his room ready etc.) but just can't wait to hold him in my arms. I get choked up thinking about what that moment is going to be like. I don't think it's hit me yet that I will need to go through labor soon but for right now I'm not scared of that. I just want him safe in my arms.

QOTW: How are you coping with being pregnant after loss? What and/or who has helped you with your pregnant after loss journey?

Being PGAL is so hard. Once we got passed the anatomy scan we did feel some relief. However, when babies have been taken from us so many times before it's hard not to think it will happen again just differently. I've really been making an effort to try not to let my fear overcome the joy I have for my son but it's a constant effort and not easy. Luckily I have a great support network including my husband who gets my "crazy" and that helps a lot. This board and others help a lot too. I do fear that I will be an overbearing mother because of what it took to get my son to this world but I guess I will work on that later. I really don't want to be that way.

jess123456 · August 2014

@racegurl87 So sorry about the acid reflux/heartburn. That's no fun. As for not showing at 12 weeks, I didn't start showing until 16 plus weeks (I take a picture each week for our baby book) so try not to worry to much about that but I know it's easier said than done. I did find and still continue to find (at 28 weeks) great comfort in my doppler before an appointment or not. Until I felt movement I would check in on him each morning and found that it helped a TON but I totally get not wanting a doppler in case you can't find the heartbeat. There were a few times where it took a while and I freaked out but reminded myself that baby was still small at that point so one tiny little movement can make it hard to find. If you do get one I highly recommend the 3mhz Sonoline B. I was able to find his heartbeat at 9 weeks but I know that's rare. Big hugs to you. PGAL is no easy journey.

MoreThanSparrows08 · August 2014

How many weeks/fruit?

17 weeks - onion

How are you feeling?

Not so great this morning. I think its more an issue with lack of sleep than anything else.

Any upcoming or recent appointments or milestones? next appointment is on the 26th with out A/S on 9/4

Thoughts/vents:

I'm just so tired... we've been going non stop this weekend and I just want to sleep forever right now.

QOTW: How are you coping with being pregnant after loss? What and/or who has helped you with your pregnant after loss journey?

Honestly, I've only made it this far without completely losing my sanity by the grace of God. I continually put all my worries on Him and remind myself that no matter what, He will take care of me. I have regular moments where I begin to stress out about the possibility of problems, and I just have to remember that worrying isn't going to make anything different.

kflynn81 · August 2014

How many weeks/fruit? 7 weeks/blueberry!

How are you feeling? Starting to feel more nausea, still not bad but definitely different this time around compared to last. Last time as long as I ate I felt ok, this time I go from hungry to OMG I may puke in a minute. No vomiting so far but there have been close moments, lol

Any upcoming or recent appointments or milestones? I have my last RE ultrasound Friday then a week and a few days later is my first OB appt

Thoughts/vents: My RE's office took me off my estrogen pills too early then when they said they'd put me back on them, no one called with instructions. Ugh...must the patient be responsible for medication changes too? lol oh man.

QOTW: How are you coping with being pregnant after loss? What and/or who has helped you with your pregnant after loss journey? Honestly its a day to day thing....some days I'm ok with it and excited like I was when pregnant with Jack. Other days I wonder why I'm so excited when this baby might not come home either....its a tough journey and I'm only 7 weeks into it.

nyg2042 · August 2014

How many weeks/fruit? 35/coconut!

How are you feeling? Contractions on and off for weeks. I'm on medication to keep them at bay since they were causing change (1-2cm dilated, 75% effaced, and baby's head engaged).

Any upcoming or recent appointments or milestones? Weekly appt tomorrow!

Thoughts/vents: can't believe I'm 35/35!

QOTW: How are you coping with being pregnant after loss? What and/or who has helped you with your pregnant after loss journey? Part of me expected to be less anxious as the pregnancy progressed, but each trimester brings it's own unique worries. I have a friend who has her rainbows after suffering multiple losses and she has been a lifesaver! My h has also been absolutely incredible. I think it's important to have a strong support system in place!

shandorfml2 · August 2014

Hi ladies

How many weeks/fruit? 5 weeks, appleseed

How are you feeling? Good. My emotions are kind of all over the place. I'm doing a second beta tomorrow and am interested in what it will say...then, my OB wants to do an early ultrasound based on where my betas are. Looking forward/terrified of that!

Any upcoming or recent appointments or milestones? Beta tomorrow, then early ultrasound probably within the next 2 weeks or so

Thoughts/vents: I'm still in shock. I almost feel in limbo...like I need to see that baby on ultrasound with a beating heart to prove it's real. I want to tell everyone...I feel like I'm only "sort of" pregnant. It's really weird.

QOTW: How are you coping with being pregnant after loss? What and/or who has helped you with your pregnant after loss journey?

Ugh..I'm coping. One day at a time. I like the pgal mantras. My H is really supportive.

gingerkid9989 · August 2014

Hey ladies!! I hope everyone is doing good!! I think that I missed last week. Sorry bout that!

How many weeks/fruit?

34 weeks, Butternut Squash!

How are you feeling?

Sciatic is killing and I'm always tired now, but it's ok. I'm hanging in there! Can't wait to meet this little girl.

Any upcoming or recent appointments or milestones?

Regular OB appt Wednesday.

Thoughts/vents:

I had a brief bout of nesting and I wish it would come back. I have ZERO energy to do things these days. Evie's room is almost done and her clothes are all washed, but the rest of my house is kind of a wreck. I need to get my butt in gear and do about 3 more organization projects before she is here in 6 short weeks. Sigh. Where is my fairy godmother??

QOTW: How are you coping with being pregnant after loss? What and/or who has helped you with your pregnant after loss journey?

PgAL is a complete mind fuck. Pardon my french, but each day brings new worries. "She isn't moving very much today, is she ok?" "I haven't started leaking milk, does it mean I'm going to be bad at BF?" "Do I have inverted nipples?" These are all crazy thoughts that pop into my head. I am so thankful for the ladies of this board. You all have made me feel a little less crazy for these thoughts.

My mom and DH have also been very great with calming me down.

For all of you newly pregnant PgALers, I'm not trying to scare you and say you are doomed to feel crazy like me your entire pregnancy. I think I'm a little more high strung than most people. :P This board is amazing and these women WILL help you get through some tough times. I hope you find as much comfort here as I have.

jess123456 · August 2014

@shandorfml2‌ Thinking so many positive thoughts for your beta. I know the waiting is so hard.

@gingerkid9989‌ You are getting so close to meeting your baby girl! You are so right that PGAL is a complete mind @u$@. Glad you have found such great support on the board too.

@linden25 So happy you are feeling your baby move around a lot. It really is amazing! That's so sweet about your husband.

@nyg2042‌ Congrats on 35 weeks! I've also found that each trimester has brought on new worries. So envious of those who are naive. I really am.

@3purpleroses‌ Sorry about your sciatic. I have the same thing and it's no fun at all. I hear that if it gets really bad a chiropractor can help. Thinking it's time to sign myself up for a prenatal massage

@kflynn81 I hope your nausea lets up soon. I was going to recommend to keep eating but that doesn't sound like it's working. Randomly I found that spicy foods like hot peppers (pepperoncinis) help me when I get nausea. Something about the spicy taste helps takes my mind off the yucky feeling. Not sure if this works for everyone but it's one small trick I found works a bit for me

An ice pack on my neck helps a little too.

@MoreThanSparrows08‌ Sorry about the lack of sleep. Have you tried a body pillow or Snuggle? It has helped me get a bit more comfortable but doesn't always work. Also, love what you said about worrying. It's so true. I need to listen to that advice for sure.

laurenrae · August 2014

How many weeks/fruit?

20 weeks...Banana

How are you feeling?

I feel really great. Lower back hurts at times but my prenatal yoga is helping with that. I can feel the baby move all of the time now and my husband was able to feel the baby for the first time yesterday. I cried from being so happy

Any upcoming or recent appointments or milestones?

Tomorrow we have our anatamy scan. I pray everything is ok. It would also be fun to be able to find out what we are having.

Thoughts/vents:

I'm just really happy to be here and be able to grow this little miracle. I feel really blessed

QOTW: How are you coping with being pregnant after loss? What and/or who has helped you with your pregnant after loss journey?

My mother helped me so much through the two losses we had. She lost my little sister that would have been born 6 years after me so she understood what i was going through. My husband also helped me. I'm lucky to have had both of them with me. I try not to worry as much as before because i'm dong my very best to be healthy and happy so i don't stress the baby out. I do still get nervous the day before a checkup but each time that gets better also.

Eliz77 · August 2014

I've never posted in this thread before since I'm usually never online on Sundays, but figured why not start today?!

How many weeks/fruit?

I am 23 weeks! No idea about fruit, banana?

How are you feeling?

Doing good! Had quite a lot of discomfort end of last week, but after taking it easy this weekend, feeling much better.

Any upcoming or recent appointments or milestones?

Nothing this week, except hematologist appointment. Next week, I see my new o/b. Looking forward to that appointment as it would be after V-Day, and I consider that my next big milestone!

Thoughts/vents:
I went to my sister's bachlorette/bridal party weekend. So much fun, even though I couldn't drink! It was kinda interesting being the sober one for a change...I had to fly, which I normally don't like to do anyway, and thought I would be more nervous than usual since I couldn't have a glass of wine 1st, but once I got passed security (I carried on lovenox and all my vitamins so was kinda worried about it), I felt completely relaxed!

QOTW: How are you coping with being pregnant after loss? What and/or who has helped you with your pregnant after loss journey?

I just take it one day, one milestone at a time. Once I got past 1st tri and left all my loss milestones behind, I have found it easier and more exciting to look forward to the next milestone to reach. PgAL is ever present, and I hate that I can't shake it completely, but I am able to kick it away (for the day!) with every movement I feel!

I don't really seek help with my PgAL journey. Sometimes I will share fears as the crop up with my H who is incredibly supportive and understanding, but I don't think he truly gets that AL fear, and that it never goes away, so I feel like I end up stressing/worrying him instead. To be honest, what has helped me the most, is sharing my story with others who have had a loss or are going through tricky times TTC. I feel like I have been able to give others hope, maybe some things to consider that they wouldn't have otherwise. I am very open about my losses, but in a more educational, non-emotional way, and that seems to have people feel more forthcoming with me about their own journey or fears regarding TTC in general. I have recommended my RE more than a couple times already. Gives me kind of a "play it forward" type of feeling.

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