some days are worse than others pregnancy/children mentioned

FLsquirrel80 · August 2014

I always tell people that with PCOS some days are worse than others emotionally. Today was one of those days. This morning I arrive at church (where I work) and my pastor comes in my office and tells me his daughter is pregnant. He went on to tell me how excited everyone was and how they were traveling up to see her to begin getting her nursery put together. I really am happy for them all because my pastor has been wanting grandchildren for a long time, but all I wanted to do was crawl in a corner and cry. Later on we did a baptism for a precious baby boy. Again, it was a happy occasion and I enjoy making promises on behalf of that child to raise him up in the faith. During the entire time I was fighting back the tears. Every time I hear of someone who is pregnant or attend something for a baby (shower, birthday party, baptism, etc..) I am reminded of my infertility and it makes me sad. I feel bad for being sad because I am truly happy for everyone and I don't want to seem selfish or rude. It is just so hard to deal with infertility. I am in children's ministry at my church so I am surrounded my children every day. When I am not around children, I have people asking me when I am going to have children. They always say "you are so good with children, you need one of your own." They mean well, but it stings my heart to have to tell people that I am trying but I am having fertility issues. The thing that frustrates me the most is my whole life has been a struggle in one way or another. I have a learning disability so school was a constant struggle. I did not make the best of grades despite spending hours on homework, I did not achieve the same things as my friends who didn't have to work hard, and it took me longer to do everything academically. That was always a constant struggle in my life that weighed me down. I was hopefully that at least this area in my life wouldn't have to be a struggle, but it has proven to be a big one. I can't get a period without going on provera. I have to take medication to even ovulate. I am having to go to a reproductive Endrocronologist just to hopefully conceive. It's just tough. Some days are worse than others. Sorry for blabbing on and on here. I just need to vent sometimes and I am looking for support even if it is electronically.

kristyn831 · August 2014

I'm sorry you're having a bad day. It's allowed! I think many of us struggling with IF feel guilty about not being completely happy about others "good news", and that's a normal feeling. Go do something that lifts your spirits!

iLoveMyPups · August 2014

So sorry to hear about your bad day! We all have them & all feel some type of way when put in situations like yours... Been there myself. Some days even TV shows or movies with mention of babies or IF get me teary eyed - but a few minutes later I am able to brush it off and keep hoping I will get my turn to be a mommy one day. Don't beat yourself up!

FLsquirrel80 · August 2014

Thank you for the heads up! I didn't even think about putting a warning in the title.

barackollama · August 2014

I'm sorry today was tough!

theholmanherd · August 2014

I get caught off by the most random things, so don't feel bad. Those are perfectly normal triggers for IF sufferers. I'm sorry you're having a rough day

lebradford · August 2014

I'm sorry you had a rough day. There are definitely days like that when I feel like just hiding inside. I think through all of this, we have to be a little selfish and take care of ourselves. For you, that might mean excusing yourself from some small child-centered events. It's just something to keep in mind.

Champs28 · August 2014

So sorry you had such a bad day

cheers to tomorrow being better!!

MrsS728 · August 2014

I've been there/am there many times. I'm sorry you're having a horrible day, but hopefully tomorrow will be a better one. HUGS!!!

BunnyBerry · August 2014

I'm so sorry, it's so unfair that IF messes with our ability to be happy for other people's children. But it's not your fault, those are real and valid feelings.

I hope you get that child of your own very soon.

I'm so sorry about the LD you have struggled with, no wonder you are wondering, when is it your turn for something to come without such a struggle?? I just want to say that since MH struggles academically (I have never seen someone work as hard as he does!), I realize how important it is for him to have people in his life who understand and appreciate what he goes through. I believe one reason God allows us to go through difficulties and pain is because we can then become a precious tool for Him to comfort and help others.

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