to return to work or not

lorist202 · August 2014

My maternity leave is over. I'm returning to work on Monday. Problem is, with 2 kids in daycare, I will break even in terms of cost, and for 3 days per week, I will shuffle around our schedules like a crazy person. I'll be working part time for now, and my boss offers excellent flexibility, especially to working moms. She prefers I work at the office, but if I need to be home for a sick kid, etc, I can work from home. My company is a fortune 15 company and offers great opportunity for growth. Three days is the minimum I am being afforded as a p/t employee.

I do not want to spend any more time away from my new DD, but it took me a whole year after leaving my career to SAH with DS to get back on track. Is it really worth all this just to hold onto a job? Has anyone else faced this or have an opinion? To return to work or not???

jtmomma13 · August 2014

I think you need to look at the big picture and the long term picture. Will you be returning to work later on- when the kids are in school? If so working part time- even though you're breaking even is worth it. It will be harder to get back into the workforce after being out for a long time.

Your job sounds like it has great flexibility and you're only at work for 3 days- which means 4 days home with both kiddos. I don't know your situation but I don't find daycare drop off and pick up to be super crazy and it really doesn't require any shuffling of my schedule. Also, since your ticker says LO is 3 years - the 3 days in daycare might really benefit him.

TheBorg7of9 · August 2014

Here are my thoughts:

1. It's not just about "holding onto a job." Staying in the workforce allows you to make progress on your career, instead of starting over in a few years at a lower level. Therefore, the cost of staying at home, isn't just the income of your current salary, it is the lost income from not progressing during that time.

2. You should consider the cost of daycare as coming out of both your salaries, not just yours. Let's be 21st century here.

3. It's always easier to go back and then decide to quit, rather than trying to find a job later after a huge resume gap.

4. Sounds like you have a great opportunity to keep working part-time with an understanding boss. I would not give that up, personally. You may never be able to find that again.

PSU_Texan · August 2014

I agree. If you think you want to go back ever, then stay part time. It's hectic but so much easier to ramp back up to full-time and not lose progress if you stay. Sounds very flexible too.

[Deleted User] · August 2014

You should factor in peripheral things beyond the straight take home pay.

Does your employer to have a 401k plan and do they match? If you plan on returning at some point, how will the absence effect your career trajectory at that company? What other benefits do you have with your company- insurance, years towards retirement eligibility, etc?

[Deleted User] · August 2014

TheBorg7of9 said:

2. You should consider the cost of daycare as coming out of both your salaries, not just yours. Let's be 21st century here.

Very true and often not thought of this way. I am stealing this.

jtmomma13 · August 2014

MarlaSinger& said:

TheBorg7of9 said:

2. You should consider the cost of daycare as coming out of both your salaries, not just yours. Let's be 21st century here.

Very true and often not thought of this way. I am stealing this.

I ALWAYS do this too. And it's just ridiculous! And I never think about the amazing insurance benefits my company has.

banks81 · August 2014

I agree with everything everyone else has said - completely! I will play devil's advocate and say that you might want to ask people not on the Working Moms board just to get a different opinion (if you haven't already). I've had similar conversations with my friends IRL and I realized that my views, which match those listed above, are not the same views as everyone else.

With that said - my biggest sticking point for going back to work is to not think just about your salary right now. Depending on your field, you have to assume you are going to get some sort of raise between now and when you would go back to work. Add on that the fact that daycare costs should decrease as your LO's get older and you won't be breaking even.

BabyHope2013 · August 2014

Just wanted to throw out there that it might all seem overwhelming to go back to work right now. But the best advice I was given and always give to my friends who are debating on returning to work or not is to go back for at least a few weeks. Try to get yourself into a routine or schedule for a month or two and if you still think that it will be better for you to stay home---then you at least gave it a fair shot.

Personally, I would love to be in your position---4 days off a week with your LO's. Sign me up! Seems like it would be a great balance.

dashofreality · August 2014

What @Theborg7of9 said. And also, especially with two I love having a 'break' from being mom. I'm PT as well and I love the balance. But that might just be me, as I'm not a fantastic SAHM.

lorist202 · August 2014

This is exactly the reassurance I needed. My mom gave me the same advice as LibraryChica's. I'm just so afraid to miss out on this precious time, but with DD being my second child, I suppose she won't get the same attention my first born received anyway. It breaks my heart. I'll just keep telling myself its quality of time, not quantity!

VOR · August 2014

I agree- go back and give it a try. It will be difficult at first- learning how to juggle 2 kids and so forth. But you will get into a comfortable spot and you may find that you enjoy having a few days "away" and being challenged in a different way.

MommaP12 · August 2014

lorist202 said:

This is exactly the reassurance I needed. My mom gave me the same advice as LibraryChica's. I'm just so afraid to miss out on this precious time, but with DD being my second child, I suppose she won't get the same attention my first born received anyway. It breaks my heart. I'll just keep telling myself its quality of time, not quantity!

STUCK

It is quality, not quantity and I've often heard my working mom friends with older children say that you actually will find they need/want you more as they are older than when they are babies/toddlers and don't have a real long term memory. So I'm trying to "pay my dues" now so when my kids are older I can be around more for school events, and such.

potbellypig · August 2014

IMO:

- Daycare is very good for kids, especially a good one. Mine hugely benefit from it. Don't forget that #2 is spending time with #1 at daycare, so they are bonding to a sibling, which can be just as valuable, albeit in a different way, as time with you.

- Work is good for me, my sanity, is time to talk to adults, gives me a chance to think about something other than the kids, and avoiding resume gaps.

- Ditto to whoever made the comment about quality of time with kids vs. quantity. When I'm on mat leave I spend more time on the phone/cleaning than I do playing with kids. When I work, I spend every evening with them and clean/talk on the phone when they're in bed.

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